#and I said “No sounds like an abuser” | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alohajix · 1 day ago

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𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚

Description: in the quiet town of Holmes Chapel, Amara—a gentle, nurturing kindergarten teacher—lives a life built on routine, safety, and quiet strength. She’s not looking for love, especially not after the scars left behind by someone she’d rather forget. But when Harry Styles walks into her classroom carrying his three-year-old daughter and a heart still grieving the loss of the woman he loved, everything changes. Neither of them is ready. Neither of them is looking. But sometimes, the people who change your life don’t knock first. They just… show up.

Warnings: this mini-series includes grief, past emotional abuse/manipulation, trauma recovery, single parenthood, and emotional vulnerability. Later chapters will contain explicit smut (clearly labeled).

Words count: ~ 90K.

First part is here! Tell me what do you think in the comments💕

*****

PART ONE – Tiny Brave Things (Words: 15K)

AMARA

The kettle clicked off just as the sun began its slow rise behind the garden hedge, spilling pale gold through the kitchen window and casting a honeyed glow across the tile floor. I stood barefoot by the sink, hands wrapped around a mug that still steamed gently against my palms, and let the morning settle around me. The quiet was soft and familiar—no cars, no voices, just the faint hum of the fridge and the birds calling to each other through the hedgerow.

This was my favorite part of the day. Before the noise, before the paint-stained fingers and paper towel crises, before someone cried because someone else used the purple crayon first. Just the stillness of home. My own breath, steady and slow. The ceramic weight of the cup in my hands. The ache in my shoulders I hadn’t realized was there until the heat began to ease it.

I took a sip and leaned against the counter, watching the steam curl and vanish. My skin was still warm from the shower. I hadn’t bothered with the hairdryer—just towel-dried my hair and twisted it into a low bun. A few strands clung to my temples, already loosening in the morning humidity. I didn’t mind.

I glanced at the clock above the oven: 6:41 a.m. Early. Earlier than I needed to be up, but I’d stopped fighting it. My body knew what it needed. I gave up on sleeping in years ago—around the same time I realized I felt safest when I had a little extra time. A little extra quiet. A little extra space between me and whatever the day might bring. Some people woke up to alarms. I woke up to the weight in my chest shifting ever so slightly.

I finished my tea, rinsed the cup, and padded barefoot across the warm kitchen floor to my small dining table—the one I’d rescued from a vintage shop three years ago and painted myself on a rainy weekend. Pale blue, a little chipped at the corners now. I liked it better that way. I pulled out the chair closest to the window, sat down, and reached for my to-do list. Just seeing it calmed me. It was half crossed-out already, scrawled in neat loops across lined paper, right down to things like “pick up more lavender spray” and “replace dying peace lily in reading corner.” I didn’t mind the repetition. Some people found it exhausting. I found it grounding. The structure. The rhythm. The knowledge that every morning, twenty-three little faces would walk through my classroom door, dragging backpacks and half-zipped coats and stories about their cat’s birthday party or a new rainbow shirt.

And today—there’d be one more. Olive Styles. Age three. I hadn’t met her yet. Her father had registered her yesterday, just before the office closed, so I’d only heard the name in passing from Mrs. Keller, the school secretary.

“Sweet-sounding little thing,” she’d said. “He filled everything out perfectly. Very polite. Very…” She’d paused then, lowering her voice even though it was just the two of us. “Put-together.”

I’d smiled, distracted by a stack of coloring books I needed to sort, and hadn’t thought much more of it. At the time. But now, sitting alone in my kitchen with the day stretching ahead of me, I realized I was… curious. Which was ridiculous. Parents came and went. I met them at drop-off, at parent nights, at emergency “your child has a tooth in their pocket again” calls. I didn’t wonder about them. And yet—

I shook it off.

I stood, slipped into my flats, pulled my cardigan from its hook near the door, and took one last glance around the room—everything tidy, everything still. Then I stepped outside.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

Holmes Chapel was still half-asleep as I walked into town. The air was cool against my skin, and the streets shimmered faintly with dew. I took the long route, weaving past hedgerows and low stone walls, nodding to the dog walkers I saw every morning. The same faces. The same smiles.

That was the thing about this town—you couldn’t hide in it. Not really. People knew each other. Knew who’d married whom. Who’d left, who’d come back. And in my case, who’d once dated Logan Clark, and who now politely avoided the subject.

I passed Mrs. Whitmore’s house just as she stepped out in her robe and slippers, watering can in hand.

“Morning, love,” she called, not looking up.

“Morning. They’re looking lovely,” I said, nodding at her roses.

“They always bloom early when the weather’s soft,” she replied, and I smiled.

I turned down the high street, already waking up with the scent of fresh bread drifting from the bakery and the soft jingle of the florist unlocking her front door. The bell above the café rang as someone stepped out with a paper bag and a steaming cup. I walked past it all, my pace steady, familiar.

Ten minutes later, I pushed through the iron gate in front of the school and stepped into the quiet hallways of a place that had become more home than anything else. The fluorescent lights buzzed softly overhead as I made my way to my classroom. The moment I unlocked the door, I was hit with the faint scent of lavender spray and children’s markers. I breathed it in like oxygen.

This space—bright, safe, colorful—was where everything felt steady. The paper butterflies we’d made last week still hung from the ceiling, their wings swaying in the faint breeze from the open window. The reading corner cushions were fluffed. The whiteboard still had the words “You Are So Loved” written in big, bubbly letters.

I set down my bag, slipped off my cardigan, and turned on the fairy lights above the bookshelf. Then I got to work. Puzzles out. Name tags in place. Crayons sorted. Paint trays prepped. I moved with the rhythm of someone who’d done this a hundred times and still cared enough to make it feel new. I was adjusting a stack of books when I heard a familiar voice from the doorway.

“Well, well. Look who beat me in.”

I turned to see Mya, leaning against the doorframe, holding two takeaway cups and smiling like she knew something I didn’t.

“Miracles happen,” I said, walking over to take one of the cups. “No more running in at 7:59 like I’ve just escaped a burning building.”

“I don’t know, I kind of liked that look on you,” she said, stepping into the room. “A little wild-eyed. Kept the parents on their toes.”

“You’re terrible.”

“I’m honest.”

She sank into the beanbag in the corner and took a sip of her drink, eyes following me as I rearranged the art supply shelf.

“So,” she said casually. “Today’s the day, yeah?”

I glanced over. “The new student?”

“Olive Styles,” she said, as if she were testing the name out loud.

I nodded. “Starts today.”

Mya grinned. “That’s such a cute kid name. Sounds like someone who wears tiny boots and carries a leaf collection in her pocket.”

“I hope so.”

She gave me a look. “And the dad?”

I blinked. “What about him?”

Mya raised her eyebrows. “You tell me. The name Styles isn’t exactly forgettable.”

I shrugged, turning to face the shelf again. “Mrs. Keller said he filled out everything properly. Sounded polite.”

“That’s code for hot,” she said, sipping her coffee with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s code for ‘I didn’t ask.’”

“Sure. Sure it is.”

I tossed a crayon box at her gently. “Some of us are focused on the children, thank you.”

She laughed, catching it. “You’re such a mum already, it’s scary.”

“Maybe someday.” The words slipped out before I could catch them. I didn’t mean to sound wistful, but there was a silence after that. A breath.

Mya watched me for a beat too long. “You’d be a brilliant mum, you know.”

I smiled, quiet. “Thanks.”

She stood and handed me the empty cup. “Alright, I’ve got to go prep for my own little chaos tornado. But text me if anything interesting happens.”

“Define interesting.”

She grinned. “Tall, dark, and devastating.” And with that, she left.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

HARRY

Olive was already in bed with me when the alarm went off. I didn’t even hear the first buzz. Just felt her small hand tug at my T-shirt, the way she always did in the early hours. Her knees were curled into my side, bunny tucked between us, thumb grazing her bottom lip like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to suck it or not. She never cried out when she came into my room—just showed up, quiet, steady, like her body remembered something her mouth hadn’t quite learned how to say.

I blinked up at the ceiling, still hazy with sleep, then down at her soft curls resting against my chest. It was early. Still grey outside. Still the kind of hush that made you feel like the world hadn’t quite started yet. I liked that part. The stillness. The space between night and day. The part where no one needed anything from me yet. Except for her. I brushed a hand gently down her back, the fabric of her sleep shirt warm from sleep.

“Morning, bug,” I whispered. She didn’t answer, just snuggled closer. Today was her first day. The first day of something new. And it felt… big. Bigger than it should’ve.

It wasn’t just preschool. It was the first time I’d let someone else carry her weight for a few hours. The first time she’d sit in a room full of strangers and look around for a face that wasn’t mine.

I pressed a kiss to her hair. “Think we can be brave today?”

Her breath shuddered out across my chest. Just a tiny sound. She didn’t answer. I didn’t push. We stayed like that for a few more minutes, until the light outside turned a little less grey and a little more gold. Then I sat up slowly, pulling her into my lap.

“Toast and jam?” I asked. She nodded, eyes still heavy. “Milk in the bunny mug?”

She gave me a sleepy thumbs up. I carried her to the kitchen, setting her gently on one of the bar stools. She leaned against the counter with her head in her hands, bunny tucked under one arm, curls wild and matted in the back. I started the toast and turned on the kettle, letting the familiar motions quiet the nerves buzzing under my skin.

The house was still. Not empty—but quieter than it used to be. There were still traces of Becca everywhere. In the way the mugs didn’t match. In the pink apron hanging behind the pantry door. In the stack of kids’ books on the shelf near the fireplace. I hadn’t moved any of it. Couldn’t. Some days, it helped. Some days, it made me want to take a hammer to the walls.

Olive stayed quiet while I made breakfast. I knew she was nervous—could feel it in the way she picked at the hem of her sleeve, in the way she stared at her bunny like it might have answers she didn’t. I set her food down and leaned against the counter across from her.

“You remember we’re going to school today, right?” She nodded, eyes on her plate. “And remember, I’m not leaving until you’re ready.”

Her lips pressed together, like she was thinking hard. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I know,” I said gently. “You don’t have to. I’ll be right outside for a little while. And then I’ll come pick you up after lunch, just like we said.”

She took a tiny bite of toast. “Will there be books?”

“Lots.”

“Glue?”

“Probably.”

She looked up. “The funny-smelling kind?”

I smiled. “The exact one.”

Her shoulders dropped slightly. “Okay.”

I walked over, crouching beside her stool so I was eye-level. “You’re gonna be okay, bug. Just try your best. That’s all.”

She leaned into me, small arms around my neck. “Will Miss be nice?”

I hoped so. “Yeah. I think she will.”

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

We were quiet on the drive. I kept the music soft—something acoustic and familiar—and glanced at her in the rearview mirror every few seconds. She was staring out the window, bunny still in her lap, curls pulled into two low pigtails that I’d clumsily tied myself. Becca used to braid them. Made them look easy. Olive never flinched when Becca did her hair. Now, she only let me do it if I promised to be gentle. And I always tried.

We pulled into the small car park beside the school, and I turned off the engine. Olive looked up at the building. Then back at me. Her bottom lip wobbled. Just once. I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached for her.

“You ready to be brave?” She shook her head. “That’s okay,” I said, lifting her carefully from the seat. “You can do it scared, too.”

I carried her toward the building, her arms looped tightly around my neck, bunny squished between us. The school was quiet from the outside, sunlight glinting off the windows, the iron gate just barely ajar. When we reached the door, I paused. She was breathing fast, her forehead pressed to my collarbone.

“Bug,” I whispered, “you’re safe.”

She didn’t let go. But she didn’t pull away either. I adjusted her in my arms, took a deep breath, and opened the door. And there she was.

She turned from the bookshelf when we walked in, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The room glowed behind her—fairy lights strung above the shelves, sunlight pooling on the rug, soft music playing from a speaker I couldn’t see. It smelled like lavender and Play-Doh and something warm I couldn’t name.

She looked up at us and smiled. It wasn’t polite. It wasn’t practiced. It was soft. Real. Welcoming in a way I hadn’t expected.

“Hi,” she said, walking toward us. “You’re right on time.”

Her voice was gentle—like she was speaking to both of us at once. Not just Olive. Olive peeked at her from beneath my chin.

“I’m Miss Amara,” she said softly. “But you can call me Miss, if that feels easier.”

Olive didn’t answer, but she didn’t hide, either.

“She’s a bit shy,” I said, my voice lower now, unsure why. “And this is all new.”

“I understand,” Amara said. “She can take all the time she needs.”

I nodded, heart tugging as Olive pressed her face into my neck.

“She brought her favorite book,” I added, reaching into her little backpack and pulling out The Koala Who Could. “And her blanket’s in there, too. Just in case.”

She took the book gently from my hands, her eyes scanning the cover like she recognized it.

“Thank you,” she said. “This helps a lot.”

“She likes the part with the tree,” I said, then caught myself. “Sorry. I know you probably don’t need all that.”

“No,” she smiled. “It’s lovely. I like knowing what matters to her.” She knelt down a little, meeting Olive’s eye line. “I heard you’re very good at puzzles,” she said softly. “I saved a special one for you, if you want to see it.”

Olive didn’t move at first. Then, slowly—so slowly—she turned to look at me.

I nodded, brushing a curl behind her ear. “Want to try?”

She hesitated. Then let her arms fall away from my neck. I crouched down and set her gently on the floor, her bunny still tight in her hands.

“You can bring that,” Amara said. “We like bunnies here.”

Olive blinked at her. Just once. Then followed her toward a little round table covered in puzzle pieces. I stayed by the door, heart full of something I couldn’t name. Amara turned back, eyes meeting mine.

“She’ll be alright,” she said. I believed her.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

AMARA

Olive didn’t say much. But she didn’t cry either. And honestly? That was more than enough.

She sat at the little round table near the windows, gently pressing puzzle pieces into place like it was a task someone had assigned her and she was determined to get it right. I stayed near her for the first ten minutes. I didn’t hover—just tidied nearby, made soft commentary, occasionally pointed out a missing tail or paw. She didn’t respond with words, but every once in a while, she’d glance at me. Just to check I was still there.

Eventually, I drifted across the room to welcome the others. Kids tumbled in—some running, some sleepy, one in tears because her snack box had the wrong sticker on it. The usual chaos. The beautiful, joyful, sticky kind. And all the while, Olive watched. She didn’t join in. But she didn’t shrink away either. She sat with her bunny tucked between her knees and her shoulders squared like she was bracing for something.

About an hour in, I was helping two boys at the paint table when I felt her beside me. Quiet as anything. She held up a small piece of paper. It was her drawing. A tree. A tiny grey shape in the middle. A koala.

I crouched to her level and smiled. “That’s beautiful.”

She pointed to the koala. “Kevin.”

“From your book?” She nodded once. “He looks very brave in your drawing.” She didn’t say anything. But she smiled.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

At snack time, I let her sit beside me. Some of the kids liked crowding together in little clusters on the rug, but Olive stayed close. Not clinging—just nearby. Her bunny sat in her lap while she quietly munched on crackers and watched the others giggle about apples shaped like hearts.

One of the boys—Elliot—came over and plopped down beside her without warning. Olive stiffened.

“That’s mine,” he said, pointing at one of the puzzle blocks she’d brought over earlier.

I turned toward him gently. “She’s using the extra pieces from the bin, sweetheart. You’re okay.”

He frowned. “But I used the yellow one yesterday.”

“She didn’t take it,” I said softly. Olive stayed frozen. I crouched, placing a hand gently on her back. “It’s okay.” She looked at me—those big, searching eyes—and I swear, the tension in her shoulders melted just a little at my touch. I looked to Elliot. “How about you show Olive how you built your tower yesterday? Maybe you can do it together?”

He grumbled, but after a minute, he nodded and scooted closer. Olive glanced at me again, then sat up straighter. She placed the yellow block in front of him. And when he smiled at her, she whispered, “Okay.” It was barely audible. But it was there. And something in me shifted.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

The day flowed in soft, colorful waves. We did handprint art with washable paint. I read a story about a dragon who only ate marshmallows. Olive sat closest to the rug’s edge but turned her head toward me with each page. She never interrupted like the others did. Just listened, wide-eyed, taking it all in. She let another little girl braid one of her pigtails. She handed someone a red crayon without being asked. She laughed—once—when someone sneezed glitter by accident.

And for a few precious hours, I didn’t think about Logan. Until I heard my name at the door.

“Amara?” I looked up to see Mrs. Keller peeking in, holding a clipboard. “Phone message for you, love. Not urgent. Just… something to have.”

I stood, brushing paint from my hands, and met her at the door. She handed me the pink slip.

LOGAN, it read in thick, rushed letters.

Called to ask what time you finish today. Said he might stop by.

The breath caught in my throat before I could hide it.

Mrs. Keller’s eyes softened. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” I lied. Because what else was I supposed to say?

I tucked the note into the pocket of my cardigan and turned back to the classroom. Olive was watching me. Not with fear. Not with confusion. Just… watching. Like she knew what it looked like when someone got a call that changed the air around them.

I forced a smile. “Time to clean up, sweet pea. Want to help me with the paint lids?” She nodded. Didn’t let go of her bunny. But walked with me anyway.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

The clock on the classroom wall ticked closer to one. The sunlight had shifted across the room now, casting warm stripes on the floor where a few kids were finishing their snack. Most had gone home for the day—early pickups and half schedules. Olive was the last still waiting. But she didn’t seem worried.

She sat beside me at the low round table, her bunny perched carefully on the edge, as we sorted puzzle pieces back into their box. She was focused. Calm. And every once in a while, she’d glance at the door. Not anxiously—just waiting. It was only her first day, and somehow, she was already part of this place.

I felt a quiet kind of pride settle in my chest.

When the knock finally came, she didn’t flinch. Just turned her head and smiled before I even stood up. I walked to the door and opened it.

He was there. Harry Styles. His curls were slightly messier than this morning, like he’d run a hand through them too many times. He wore a grey jumper and jeans, his coat unzipped, his shoulders a little more relaxed than they’d been before. But his eyes? Still soft. Still searching.

“Hey,” he said, a little quieter than necessary. “She alright?”

“She’s better than alright,” I said, smiling as I stepped aside. “She’s been brilliant.”

He looked over my shoulder and saw her—tiny, bunny in hand, puzzle box now clutched to her chest. His shoulders dropped a little more. And for a second, something passed between us. Not a moment. Not yet. But a pause. Like he saw me now. Not just as her teacher. As something more.

Olive slid off the chair and padded over in her little pink trainers, curls bouncing softly.

“Daddy,” she said, not with desperation—just warmth.

He crouched and held out his arms, scooping her into a hug. “Hey, bug. You did it.”

She pulled back just enough to show him the puzzle box. “We found the fox.”

“You did?” he said, eyes wide like she’d just announced she’d climbed a mountain.

She nodded, then looked at me. “Miss helped.”

I smiled. “She did most of it herself.”

Harry stood, Olive still perched on one arm. He turned to me with something in his expression that wasn’t just gratitude.

“You’re very good with her,” he said.

“I try to be good with all of them,” I replied gently. “But she made it easy.”

He exhaled through his nose. “She doesn’t usually let go like that. Not since…” He trailed off, glancing down at her. I knew what he was going to say. He didn’t need to finish it.

“I’m glad she felt safe here,” I said.

He looked back at me, and for a second, the noise in the hallway faded. Everything stilled.

“ If she wants to come back tomorrow.” I smiled. “She’ll have her spot waiting.”

He nodded. “Same time?”

“Same time.”

We stood there for a second longer than we needed to. Then Olive tugged gently at his collar. “Can we get the bread with the holes?”

“The bagels?” he asked, already smiling. “Course we can.”

He glanced at me one last time. “Thanks again, Miss Amara.”

I liked the way he said it. Like it mattered. “You’re welcome,” I said. And I meant it.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

The classroom emptied slowly. I lingered, like I always did. Wiping down the tables. Tidying the reading corner. Restoring the classroom to the gentle stillness it always held before the day began again.

The sunlight had faded to a softer gold now, stretching long across the floors. I turned off the fairy lights and packed my things with the kind of slow rhythm that comes after a full, good day. I didn’t feel tired. Not the heavy kind. I felt full. Full of little moments. Olive’s soft voice. Her quiet nod. The way Harry had looked at her—and at me—like something new had settled between the three of us and none of us quite had the words for it yet.

I stepped out into the early evening air and started toward the square. I hadn’t planned to stop at the market, but my fridge at home was bare, and the day had left me craving something warm. Something soft. Maybe bread. Or jam. Or chocolate.

The cobblestone paths were glowing under the fading sun as I walked into the village center. The hanging baskets of spring flowers swayed gently in the breeze. A woman walked past with her daughter, holding hands and humming the same tune Olive had been singing under her breath at cleanup time.

The bell above the market door jingled as I stepped inside. It smelled like oranges and pinewood. I made my way to the produce aisle and reached for a basket of strawberries, still thinking about the way Olive had said Miss helped like it meant something deeper.

“Afternoon, Miss Amara.” I turned.

Mr. Beckett stood behind me in his usual green jumper, arms tucked behind his back like he always had something to say.

“Hi, Mr. Beckett,” I said, smiling.

He gave a knowing look. “Heard you’ve got a new one in class.”

I nodded. “Olive Styles.”

He tilted his head. “That’d be Harry’s girl, wouldn’t it? Up by the hill cottages?”

I hesitated. “Yes.”

“Sweet thing, that one. Saw them last week at the bakery. Didn’t say much, but the little girl had her eyes on the pain au chocolat like it held all the answers to the universe.”

I laughed softly. “Sounds like her.”

He leaned on his cane, his voice gentler now. “People talk, you know. Small town and all. Shame what happened to his girl.”

My throat tightened. “Yes.”

“I didn’t know her well,” he went on. “But she had a light to her. That kind of quiet kindness you don’t always see anymore.”

“She must’ve been special,” I said.

He looked at me for a long moment. “You’re one of the good ones, Amara. Always were. That little girl’s lucky to have you.”

“Thank you,” I said, the words catching slightly on their way out.

He smiled, tipped his cap, and moved toward the back of the shop. I stood still for a second, basket in my hand, surrounded by fruit and light and the soft hum of old music playing overhead.

I didn’t know what I was feeling. But it was something. Something warm. Something real.

I grabbed a loaf of bread, a jar of raspberry jam, and—without thinking—a bar of chocolate I didn’t need but wanted anyway.

When I stepped back outside, the sun had slipped behind the rooftops, and the sky was washed in pale pink and lavender. And even though the air had cooled, something lingered in my chest. Not warmth. Not yet. But the sense that maybe—just maybe—something had shifted. And when it did… I’d be ready.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

HARRY

Olive fell asleep before I finished the dishes. She was curled sideways on the couch in her unicorn pajamas, one hand tucked under her cheek and the other still wrapped around her bunny’s floppy ear. I didn’t move her right away. I just stood in the doorway, watching her chest rise and fall in that slow, even rhythm that only came when she was truly safe.

The house was dim now, lit only by the lamp in the corner and the glow of the kitchen light. There was music playing low on the speaker—something soft with strings—but I couldn’t hear it clearly over the noise in my head.

I’d done it. We’d done it. Day one.

She’d gone to school, let go of my hand, sat at a table beside strangers, and smiled at her teacher. She’d come home with purple marker smudged on her fingertips and told me about Kevin the koala like it was the most important story in the world.

And she’d said she wanted to go back. That part broke me a little. In a good way. I sat on the floor beside the couch, letting my hand rest gently on her foot. Just enough to feel her warmth. I thought about Becca. About how proud she would’ve been. How she’d probably cry and then pretend not to. How she’d make cupcakes for the whole class after week one and write me a to-do list I didn’t ask for.

I closed my eyes and let the ache come and go like it always did. Then I opened them again. And saw Olive’s sketchbook on the coffee table. I flipped it open slowly, expecting crayon scribbles. But there it was. A tree. A koala. And below it, written in crooked three-year-old letters, a name.

Miss.

And just like that, Amara’s face filled my mind again—her quiet voice, her steady gaze, the way she’d crouched beside Olive like she’d known exactly what to say and exactly when to say nothing at all. I didn’t know why she stayed with me like that. But she did. And something about it felt a little like the beginning of something I wasn’t sure I deserved.

⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻ ⸻

AMARA

I sat on the couch in my comfiest socks with a cup of tea cooling beside me and my feet tucked beneath a throw I’d had since university.

The house was quiet. Lavender-scented. Dim except for the reading lamp behind me. I should’ve been grading. Or planning. Or sleeping. But my thoughts kept circling back to her. To Olive. To the way she’d looked up at me after storytime with a crayon in one hand and her bunny tucked under the other.

And—maybe more than that—to him. To the softness in his voice when he said her name. To the look in his eyes when she reached for my hand. To the quiet that settled between us like something shared.

My phone buzzed with a text from Mya.

MYA: Sooo… how was the dad?

I smiled, shaking my head and picked up the phone—only to see another notification above hers. One I didn’t open.

LOGAN: Still pretending I don’t exist? You know I can always find you.

I locked the screen. Pushed the chill back down. Then opened Mya’s message instead.

AMARA: Polite. Thoughtful. The kind of guy who remembers which page in the koala book his daughter loves most.

MYA: Oh no. You like him.

AMARA: I don’t know him.

MYA: Yet.

I put the phone down and leaned my head back against the cushion. The warmth from the tea drifted into the air, sweet and steady. And somewhere beneath the comfort of the night and the quiet hum of my house, I felt it again. That shift. That pull. That soft, slow opening. Something new. Something gentle. Something I didn’t have a name for yet.

But maybe— Maybe when I’m ready, I’ll let it in.

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othernaut · 18 hours ago

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My brain isn't silent, but it's... well, okay.

So, first off, I'd like to say that this isn't an endorsement of Recreational Substances, or any use or abuse of said Substances. That said, they are going to play into the story. Sometimes, the normal symphony of neural processes like to play a single chord very, very loudly for a very, very long time; sometimes that chord is "everything sucks, you suck worst of all, let's feel pain about it"; sometimes, the only variation in the monotony is a Substance. If you've had terrible experiences with drugs or depression and don't want to read anything about them at all (or you're a cop), this is that warning.

Excellent. Let's go.

So, one night when I was much younger, after smoking a lot of weed and drinking a little bit, I found a relative's leftover codeine and chowed it down. (this is normally a bad combination, and was probably done on a Tuesday or something, but like I said, depression.) The three depressants were somehow accidentally dosed to a point where the normal, single chord of Pain was muted down to an annoying whine. This was good! It was what I wanted! The thing is, it also muted all my higher processing capabilities - speech and movement was pretty much impossible, all thought seemed to struggle up from the bottom of a vat of petroleum jelly, but that was fine, as all I wanted to do was lay back and enjoy the soft near-silence of an existence that didn't hurt so badly.

In this visibly zonked state, I found myself able to casually wander down to where my brain kept the barrier of sleep and explore the process in conscious detail. With my normal mental players now whisper-quiet, I could toe back the curtain of oblivion while still sorta conscious and observe, with memory intact, what my subconscious mind was doing down there.

To my delight, I found that it sounded like a five-year-old child telling an excitedly purposeless story with no beginning and no end.

"BUT THE UNICORN WAS LONELY AND WANTED TO BE AROUND OTHER HORSES," it said, "SO IT LAID DOWN IN THE MUD BY THE RIVERBANKS UNTIL IT SOAKED INTO ALL ITS FUR AND MANE, BUT IT WAS SO SOFT AND COOL THERE THAT IT FORGOT ABOUT ITS LONELINESS AND STAYED UNTIL THE FIREFLIES CAME OUT, AND THE FIREFLIES SPELLED OUT A SECRET WORD THAT THE UNICORN COULD REMEMBER WHENEVER IT WANTED TO CHANGE ITSELF, BUT THE RIVER REFLECTED THE WORD BACKWARDS AND THE SKY REFLECTED IT DOUBLE-BACKWARDS SO AS THE UNICORN WAS GOING TO SLEEP IT COULDN'T REMEMBER WHICH WORD WAS THE RIGHT ONE, AND THEN --"

Ceaselessly. Little subconscious hands waving around. I could pull back up and observe the world around me, with the painted drywall and stacked bills and ever-comforting night, and then dip my head behind the curtain to find the kid still going at it back there, still telling her story, forever.

Thankfully, I'm not the sort of person who has a fun time on drugs and immediately tries to do it again the next day, all the time, forever (which was also why I put the warning up ahead of time, as I know not all brains operate like that). But for someone whose Pain still and will always tell me how much I suck, how much I don't deserve to be here - it comforts me, to know that at my deepest parts, far past the point of rational thought, I'm just a little kid that wants to tell a story and never wants to stop.

Sometimes, when I meditate the right way, I can go back there and check up on her (meditation being a more reliable and accessible way to find the same effect). She's still down there, hasn't aged even a minute, still going. It's the one thing I can point to in a long lifetime of change that is truly infinite. I have the inestimable fortune of knowing who I am at my core and being able to love that little weirdo deeply and easily.

So, I don't really hear my mental processes all the time, but I know what they sound like. I've somehow gotten Pain to sit down in their assigned seat and wrestled away their volume controls - it's part of the symphony now, limited to pencilling in extra fortes when it wants to be heard. "Symphony" is actually a good metaphor - all the parts mostly play in sync, but if someone decides to randomly insert a solo or I know the piece well enough to remember the score, I can pick out the individual players. And I know who's there behind the curtain, unsupervised and, despite it all, doing okay.

Part of the reason my brain never shuts up is that I can “hear” echoes of my subconscious processing things constantly. And I do mean constantly.

There’s certain things I’m not supposed to know about up here in the conscious mind that the chemicals and the neurons are supposed to be quietly connecting together in the background but my neurons are yelling loudly in echoey hallways

I think the ADHD medication was supposed to quiet down my echoey hallways somewhat but it has done nothing of the sort. I can hear the little men working in the back room furiously trying to string concepts together like pieces from completely different puzzles and they are not subtle about it in the slightest.

#the chronic pain foghorn is pretty damn apt though #also chronic pain likes to bring in like 392830 understudies and have them all practice at once

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wangxianficfinder · 3 days ago

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Fic Finder

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1. I’m going crazy looking for this fic! WWX, an OC, and a-Yuan time travel back to the CR era. Older WWX and the OC are romantically involved, but there’s implied Wangxian for the younger set. I think older WWX was trying to hide his identity. Anyone know it? 😭 @elegantgardencandy

FOUND? Through The Eyes of a Snake and a Crow by of_rivers_and_moons (T, 84k, WangXian, OC/WWX, JYL/JZX, WIP, Based off of a AngstyMDZSThoughts prompt, With A Twist, Time Travel, Arranged Marriage, Snakes, Canon Divergence, Jealousy)

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2. There is a fic, (LWJ time travels I think, not sure) He subtlely manipulates WWX against the Jiangs. I forgot if he was older or same age as Wei Ying. There was a kiss scene in the cloud recesses Library, Jiang Yanli scolding him for spilling soup on Jin Zixuan and then apologising. It's not like stones on an unseen board. Jiang Yanli is not in Cloud Recesses in this fic. @sunshinesnow

FOUND? If only you knew (what goes on in my mind) by makexianxianhappytoday (G, 7k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiang Family Bashing, dark LWJ (but in a good way) <3, Protective LWJ, Oblivious WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, smug LWJ) For number 2 of the latest fic finder it sounds so familiar but it could also be a combination of the fic they said it wasn’t and this short fic. The soup spills on Wei Ying and Jiang Yanli ends up getting mad at him. But they’re all at Cloud Recess here. In their recollection was it at Lotus Pier or during war or where did Wei Ying spill the soup?

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3. Hi team ! I have a request for the next fic finder. What I remember is that LW finds a little girl alone in a forest. He offers to take her home, and they find themselves in front of a barrier, which only those wearing a necklace can pass. The girl has one and she passes easily. LW can also pass because he shares the blood of the village chief, who is actually his maternal grandfather, of whom he knows nothing. LW thinks that the village is the ideal hiding place for the Wen and WY. Thank you ! @sweet-maemi

FOUND! Arbitrary by devinokaze (T, 137k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, but live somewhere else, hidden society, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, POV Multiple)

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4. Hello, I’m searching for a watching the movie type fic. What was special about this one was that this happened during the time Wei ying was dead. And then they did like all certain trials after they found out he was innocent to get him alive and they found out during this whole thing that Wei Ying was watching over then lan zhan and ayuan. @chloecov4506

FOUND? Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 (M, 250k, WIP, WangXian, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Worth Issues)

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5. Hello! Thank you for your hard work!!!!

I'm looking for a fic where WY died and is thrusted back in time when he was a child. He decides to avoid the Jiang's and in the beginnings acts as a rogue cultivator I remember that he has a ghost lady companion and there was a Cultivation Conference where the rumors of a child (ghost/deity) is roaming about in the world and we could see a bit of Lan Queen perspective on the matter. I also remember that WY went to Carp Tower (but not the reason why) and JYL meet him there and felt that there was something missing in her family (I believe that she used the word glued, and that there was someone missing that glued them together).

I know that this is long, but I can't find it in AO3 and I'm searching all the pertinent tags and bookmarks.

FOUND? 🔒 Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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6. Hello can you help me find the fic where lan wangji made his heartbeat match wei wuxian’s own through meditation please…that’s all I can remember from it

FOUND? 💖🔒Silver & Gold by beeswaxing (E, 162k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Age Regression/De-Aging, Fix-It of Sorts, Post-Canon Fix-It, Family Bonding, Established Relationship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Literal Sleeping Together, Romance, BAMF WWX, Mutual Pining, Horny Teenagers, Underage Kissing, Protective WWX)

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7. Hi! I am looking for a fic that I think was modern with magic. It was a soulmate au where, unbeknownst to WWX, Madame Yu had cursed him so that his soulmarks never appeared because she wanted WWX to feel unloved. I think it was a color soulmate au where people left colorful marks on their loved ones, but it also could have been something to do with constellations? I would love to read this again, thank you!

FOUND! leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, Music, Orchestra, [Podfic] Leading Tone by silencemostofall by Beria1021)

NOT FOUND! pastel by antebunny (G, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Soulmates, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unrequited Love, but not actually, no courtesy names)

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8. Hi! I'm looking for this a/b/o fic, honestly it might even have just been porn with no story. It was about wwx and lwj going to this clinic or something that matches up compatible alphas and omegas and they take a contraceptive before they have sex. But wangxian take one look at each other and both agree not to take anything. I just remember at the end they're telling an employee there and she's so confused why they didn't take it and tells wangxian that it's not the clinic's responsibility if wwx ends up pregnant

Thank you!

FOUND? Lucid by lazulink (E, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Assigned Heat Partners, Strangers to Lovers Speedrun, Scenting, Nesting, Knotting, Mating Bites, Cunnilingus, Rimming, Humiliation, Blow Jobs, Breeding Kink, Spanking, Consensual Non-Consent, Consensual Somnophilia, Breathplay, Loss of Virginity, Light Dom/sub, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, PWP, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Intersex Omegas, Under-negotiated Kink, Implied Future Mpreg)

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9. hi i know this is kinda insane but ive been searching for this fic since 2021 so all i remember is that wangxian are in university and they're roommates. so one morning wei ying woke up late to a class that require him some stationary or like he forgot it (cant remember the details) he doesnt have any so he decided to borrow from lan zhan who already gone to his own class, he was opening lan zhan's drawer on his desk to look for said stationary but found his journal/diary/notebook instead, he got curious i guess and decided to take a peek and realized soon enough that lan zhan was actually writing about him, and he read the page where basically lan zhan wrote how basically he wanted wei ying (cant remember if he wrote it in a diary kind of way or straight up writing smur fanfiction about them)

(also its not "sign me up for that full time, im yours" by elhana)

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10. Hi! Can I please have some help looking for a fic I read ages ago, I'm 70% was wangxian. 😅

Canon Divergence before the Nightless city massacre; Wen Qing, Wen Ning, and Wei Ying go to the Unclean realm to ask Nie Mingjue to let them use the Nie medical room to heal Wen Ning and Wei Ying by getting rid of the resentful energy. Wei Ying plays to slowly remove the resentful energy while Wen Qing heals Wen Ning and he lives/comes back. Then Wei Ying has to stay awake and play to allow Wen Qing to heal his injuries from his fall into the Burial Grounds because the resentful energy was the only thing holding him together/keeping him alive. I remember Nie Mingjue and other Nie soldiers standing and watching horrified for both procedures, and that healing Wei Ying started from his legs up he had to pull the energy away from each limb while Wen Qing heals him.

I'm pretty sure it ended with the Wens moving into the Unclean realm and Lan Zhan finding out Wei Ying was there and insisted on staying to help him heal. @thequintessentialmuggle

FOUND? ❤️ three surgeries and a mercy kill by MarbleGlove (T, 11k, medical procedures, fix-it, Demonic Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Self-Indulgent, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

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11. Hi I’m looking for a fic and can’t seem to find it anywhere, it was on ao3. It was set in the untamed universe, and started when Jin Ling stabbed wwx after him and lwj fled carp tower, and wwx got really sick bc it was raining and had an infection(?) the juniors were there as well and, and also a wangxian confession.

If you could find it then thankyou very much!!! @lan-xinyu-lan

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12. Helloo, I can't seem to find this fic I've read a while back, it was wangixan, completed, set in university.

The plot was basically that wwx moved to a new uni and lwj is known for sleeping around there, but wwx doesnt know that and on his first night in the dorms they run into each other, wwx has alcohol which is forbidden so lwj tries to report him or something but they end up having a one night stand.

Lwj basically kicks wwx out in the morning, but they run into each other again at this martial arts? Class run by nmj and wwx tried very hard to befriend lwj again.

I don't remember any secondary ships aside from yanli and zixuan being married.

Yanli and lan huan are teachers at the uni in this fic and they end up having beef because their brothers keep hurting each others feelings

This is all i can remember, the rating was probably mature? But i am not certain.

Thank you sm @dcfangirl

FOUND! the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, background NieLan, background QingMian, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation, Background XuanLi)

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13. Hello I'm looking for this one wangxian forbidden love fic I read a long time ago but the only thing I remember about it is that lwj is a pastor son and wwx is the local bad boy/troublemaker. It should be around 2020-2021-ish when I read it but I'm open if there is any different yet similar fic of the same nature/vibes. Thank you in advance!!!

FOUND? Mad about the Boy by TriviasFolly (M, 62k, WangXian, 1950s America, Greaser WWX, Historical Smoking, Historical Viewpoints, Angst, Internal Struggle, Pre-Relationship, Historical Homophobia, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, sexual awakenings, Sexual exploration, in which LWJ waxes poetically about dicks, small town gays, Self discovery journey, Self love journey, the excuse to have WWX smoke and wear a leather jacket, gay acadamia, teenage dramatics, smoll angst) I don't think this is the one they were looking for because it was published in 2023, but Mad about the Boy is set in 1950s America. Wei Ying is a greaser and Lan Qiren has Lan Zhan's life planned out for him to become a surgeon who will come home to a demure wife at the end of the day. The story is exceptionally written and depicts small town life, complete with small-minded, homophobic people and the difficult choices Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are forced to make. I highly recommend it.

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14. I was wondering if you Help me find this fic about I think Wei ying agreed to come to lan zhan home but he could with the wen poeple if you agreed to get cleanse of all resentment, energy. he knew he was gonna die, but he still did it in like lan zhan it’s kind of mad about it.

FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)

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15. For the next fic finder, I've been looking for a fic that was a crossover with Firefly. LXC saved LWJ and WWX from a science facility, and tries to get a ride on a ship either owned by NMJ or JC, and LXC gets caught "smuggling" LWJ and WWX. Well it turns out that JC had started space traveling because he was looking for WWX. I thought that mondengel had written it, but I couldn't find it when I had gone through their works. If you can help locate it then that would be amazing! Thanks for the help!

Hi! I’m #15 on the recent Fic Finder. It’s not among the stars. WWX and LWJ weren’t courtesans. I’m pretty sure they were both science experiments, or something along those lines, and I think they were essentially abducted, so LXC went to rescue LWJ and had to take WWX as well since LWJ wouldn’t leave without him. It was also a one-shot. If it also helps, all the MDZS characters basically replaced all of the Firefly characters

NOT FOUND? among the stars by plonk (E, 61k, WangXian, Space, Science Fiction, Firefly Setting, Courtesan WWX, Courtesan LWJ)

FOUND? Sabre by mondengel (Not Rated, 1k, WangXian, Firefly AU)

For 15, check specifically chapter 4 of among the stars. The chapters are not connected to one another and are each a contained story. Chapter 4 has WY as the mechanic, LZ as the psychic girl in the box, yanli as the captain, jc as whatever jayne's job is... You should double check specifically that chapter!

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16. Hello! I am looking for a specific fic, please. It was set in Cloud Recesses and I think WWX and LWJ were married. WWX was given a role within the clan as something like personnel manager, and he was tasked with speaking with every single disciple to see how they liked their work and then rearranging their schedules and getting them better pay and the like. For some reason the elders wanted to overthrow LXC but all of the disciples that WWX had helped rose up to fight back in gratitude for WWX’s help. Would love to read again, if anyone remembers what this fic might be! Thank you!

FOUND? Practical Considerations by teawater, the_anthropologist (E, 97k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Found Family, Spouses to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Politics, Scheming, Lán Elders are assholes, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, eventually BAMF LXC, learning to make decisions, Learning Self-worth, Self-Esteem Issues, Sweet Wangxian, Domestic Fluff, Fix-It, JC is a big asshole, he improves somewhat but it’s open-ended, POV wwx, POV LWJ, POV JC, Golden Core Reveal, Teacher wwx, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Post-Sunshot Campaign, WWX Protection Squad, Feelings Realization, WWX protector of the twin jades, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Protective LQR, Demonic Cultivator WWX, Married WangXian, Genius WWX, Everybody Lives) Wei Wuxian was in an arranged marriage with Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen asked Wei Wuxian to take over the accounting for the sect. After Lan Wangji gets a beating from the Elders, Wei Wuxian researches how the Elders have more power than the Sect Leader and learns that they were meant to be advisors, leading to a reorganization within the sect. Lan Xichen asks Wei Wuxian to interview all the disciples to work out better positions for everyone and those disciples help prevented a later coup led by the Elders.

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17. Hi! I’m looking for a fic where WWX, JC, Mianmian, and JZX are superheroes. LWJ was the bad guy. I think it was called Minx? I can’t seem to find it. I remember WWX felt like an outsider. JC resented him quite a bit. WWX ends up on LWJ’s side.

FOUND? 🔒 Minx by retired (misbehavingvigilante) (E, 66k, WangXian, Teen Titans (Animated Series) Setting, Age Difference, Corruption Arc, Daddy Kink, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Extremely Dubious Consent, Manipulation, Seduction to the Dark Side, Sexual Harassment, Trans WWX, WWX Has a Rape/Non-Con Kink, YLLZ WWX, Dark LWJ, Dragon LWJ)

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18. I remember this fic where wei wuxian is some sort of general maybe and he runs away from lan zhan and their kid/kids with the help of wen qing and wen ning. In the process of running away wei wuxian breaks down and wen qing finds out that he is pregnant and I think you ziyuan shows up?

I only remember reading till there and i can't find it please help @mysteriouslywangxian

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19. Hello, can you please help mee.

I'm looking for a fic I read a while back, around 2021? Wangxian has s*x in the xuanwu cave but wy end up passing out due to fever and lwj is convinced that he has taken advantage of a sick wy. They meet again years later. It's also not jiang friendly and wy will live with the wens after being rescued from the cave @romyb28

FOUND? 🔒💙 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, WangXian, WQ & WWX & WN, weapons-grade thirst, Getting Back Together, Trying REALLY hard to not still like your Ex, but failing, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Canon Divergence, Modern Cultivation, Case Fic, LWJ's canonically big dick, sort of a 'thirsting for your co-worker ex' vibe, it eventually gets worked out, Mutual Pining, Guest-starring LWJ’s canonically poor communication choices after romantic cave encounters, novel canon relationship dynamics, basically this fic is about escalating sexual tension)

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20. I need help looking for a wangxian fic

The fic is in a modern setting mostly on the pov of the junior quartet.

They think that LWJ is cheating on WWX since they saw him leave a club/bar/restaurant with a beautiful "female". Turns out it is just WWX in a dress.

Involves misunderstandings, devastated LSZ, and the juniors ruining LWJ's surprise gift for WWX. @lanwuxian0725

FOUND! Junior.exe has stopped working by Luminos07 (T, 4k, WangXian, Crack Treated Seriously, Attempt at Humor, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Junior Trio Shenanigans, This fic is basically the juniors being dumb, Crack, Humor, Comedy, What’s the tag for the juniors going through LWJ's phone?, Protective JC, Modern, no actual infidelity, Established Relationship, LWJ's sugar daddy tendencies, WWX Protection Squad)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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shikaizer · 4 hours ago

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replace him. paigebueckers x reader.

wc 2.4k

your bestfriend getting fed up with your boyfriend on how toxic he is, she shows you how much shes better then him by fucking you, while making sure he knows.

abuse. choking. face sitting. overstimulation. posessive language. rough sex. boys.

You sit on the edge of your dorm bed, your hands trembling slightly as you stare at your phone screen, his name lights up the top of your messages again "where the fuck are you? you said you would call."

You dont reply, you dont have it in you tonight, not after everything he said to you this morning, not after the way he grabbed your arm so hard that the faint imprint of his fingers is still visible.

so you did the only thing that made sense, you texted paige.

“can you come over? i just.. need you.” she didnt hesitate, you didnt have to explain anymore, within twenty minutes, there was a knock on your dorm door, she always knocks once, then twice fast, like a code.

you opened the door and there she was, your best friend, paige, tall, broad shoulders wrapped in a hoodie that smells like faint detergent and gym sweat, her eyes immediately softened the second she saw your face.

“come here” she murmured, pulling you into her arms without hesitation, her voice, her presence, her hands rubbing gentle circles into your back,it was everything you needed and more.

you were tired, tired of hiding how badly you wanted her, tired of pretending your boyfriend wasnt an abusive piece of shit, tired of swallowing your screams and tears just to make it through another day.

you pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes "I want you" you whispered "right now"

she didnt waste any time and pushed you back on the bed, she slammed her lips on to your, caressing your waist, while her other hand sneakily reached for you phone thats currently placed on the matress.

while she was kissing you deeply, she tilt her eyes up to look at your phone nd swiping it open with confidence, she found his contact, hit call, then set the phone on speaker mode and dropped it face down beside you

paiges mouth twisted into something wicked as the call connected, she didnt wait to hear his voice on the other end, she didnt care, she knew he was listening, that was enough.

her hands grabbed at the hem of your oversized t-shirt, yanking it off in one fluid motion, you gasped from the force, but it only made her smirk, she shoved you back against the bed, her palm pressing hard into your chest.

“you let that piece of shit touch you?” she growled, her voice deep and sharp as fire “he doesnt even deserve to look at you, let alone fuck you.”

you couldnt speak, you just nodded, breathless, every nerve alight with tension, she reached for your shorts and ripped them down your legs, your underwear with them, exposing you fully to her, her gaze darkened, hungry and possessive.

“fuck” she muttered, then she raised her voice, just a notch “you listening, asshole? you listening to how wet she is for me?” you raised your eyebrows and looked over beside you to see a call connected, you gasped moving away and she whispered low leaning down "shh baby....relax.."

Paige slid two fingers down your folds, spreading you open shamelessly, letting the wet sounds echo into the phones speaker, you whimpered and let out a loud moan that was surely heard on the other side of the call.

“Goddamn” she hissed through her teeth “this is mine now, shes mine now.”

You moaned, loud and unfiltered, your back arching as she pushed two fingers deep inside you without warning, her other hand grabbed your throat, not choking, just holding, just letting you feel her grip, her control.

“im gonna make her scream so fucking loud, you’ll wish you never laid a hand on her.” she leaned down, licking a slow stripe up your neck before biting your ear “say it” she demanded “tell him whose pussy this is now.”

your voice shook, but you said it, loud “yours, paige, its yours.” paige growled low, fucking you harder, her palm slapping against your clit between thrusts, making your thighs tremble, the muffled shouting sounds on the call being heard.

“you hear that, you little bitch?” she barked into the room “youu lost her, she begged for me, she called me after you left her crying, and now im gonna ruin this pussy so good, she will forget your name.”

you were a mess beneath her, panting, whimpering, your nails digging into the sheets, every thrust sending shocks through your body.

“louder” paige snarled “i want him to hear what i do to you, i want him to remember this sound.” then she curled her fingers just right, hitting that spot that made your whole body jolt, your hips jerking up to meet her, your mouth dropped open in a loud, desperate scream of her name over and over and over.

She smirked, dragging her slick fingers from you and holding them up to your mouth "lick them clean” she ordered, you obeyed, trembling, your tongue swirling around her fingers as she stared into your eyes like she owned you.

"yeah fuck, just like that” she muttered, then raised her voice one more time “hang up the phone, dickhead, she doesnt belong to you anymore.” she ended the call herself, slamming the phone down.

Paige tossed your phone aside like it was garbage, her body still heaving with adrenaline, her gaze was locked on you now, no one else existed.

You barely had time to catch your breath before she was on you again, crawling up your body like a predator that hadnt had its fill, her lips crashed against yours, all tongue and teeth, hands roaming like she had the right to every inch of your skin, and maybe she did, you let her, you wanted her to take it.

“your not done" she growled into your mouth “not even close.” you whimpered under her, already soaked again, your body buzzing from the brutal orgasm she’d just dragged out of you, but she didnt care, she wanted more, needed more, and she wasnt asking permission.

she shoved your legs apart again, this time spreading you wide open and keeping you that way by gripping your thighs so tight you knew there’d be marks, she didnt warm you up, didnt slow down, just buried her face between your legs and devoured you like a woman starved.

Her tongue was fucking sinful, Rough and fast at first, messy, like she needed to erase any trace of him from your body, and then slow, torturously slow, lapping at your clit in lazy, flicking motions while she stared up at you with hooded eyes.

you fisted the sheets “paige—fuck—please—”

“Please what?” she growled against your core, lips slick with your arousal “you want me to stop?” you shook your head violently “n-no! dont you dare.”

That made her smirk, she plunged two fingers back inside you, curling them wickedly while her mouth latched onto your clit again, your body was already trembling, overstimulated, but you were too far gone to care, you wanted to be wrecked, you wanted to be ruined.

“fuck, look at you" paige panted, pulling away for a second to speak "your shaking for me, cant even speak full sentences, huh?”

"eyes on me, i want to see you cum." you groaned and gasped when you felt the rising in your stomach, the moment your heat lowered down she sighed deeply licking her lips.

She finally collapsed next to you, chest heaving, skin flushed and glowing, there was a long pause.

Then she turned her head, brushed your hair from your face, and whispered with a small, shaking breath “hes never touching you again.”

—ଓ

The room was still thick with heat, the sheets soaked and twisted beneath your bodies, your lips were swollen, your body aching, and paiges fingers were laced with yours as she laid beside you, still catching her breath, you both just come down from something raw and powerful, and for a moment, the world felt still.

Then—bang bang bang.

three harsh knocks on the dorm door, too loud to be a friend, too angry to be random, you froze, paiges head snapped up, her expression shifting instantly from bliss to sharp alertness, she sat up, grabbing her hoodie and pulling it on fast.

your breath caught in your throat, you knew that knock, that rhythm, that rage “open the fuck up!” came the shout from the hallway, him, your stomach dropped.

paige stood up slowly, the tension rippling off her like heat, she turned to you and said calmly “stay on the bed, dont move, dont say a word.”

you barely nodded, the door banged again “i know your in there, you lying bitch! you think i didnt hear that?! you called me!" paige crossed the room and flung the door open so hard it slammed into the wall, she didn’ hesitate, she didnt flinch, she stood in the doorway like a shield between you and the storm outside.

He stood there, red faced, eyes wild, fists clenched at his sides, he was wearing a hoodie and gym shorts, but it wasnt his clothes that made you feel sick, jt was the look in his eyes, the one you knew too well.

“where the fuck is she?” he spat, trying to look around paiges tall frame “what the fuck did you do to her?” paige didnt move “you take one more step toward this room, and I swear to God, i'll knock your fucking teeth down your throat.”

He laughed, a bitter, unhinged sound “who the hell do you think you are? you think shes gonna pick you over me?”

“she already did” Paige said, voice low and dangerous “you just didnt realize it until you heard her screaming my name.” you heard his breathing change, heavy and uneven, like a fuse being lit.

“back the fuck up” paige warned "im not playing" his eyes narrowed “you fucking bitch—”

That was it, paige shoved him hard, he stumbled back, nearly hitting the opposite wall of the hallway, then he looked past her, just for a second, and locked eyes with you, you didnt cover yourself, dindt hide, you held his stare, your face blank "your fucking dead to me” he hissed “both of you.”

Then he turned and stormed down the hallway, fists still clenched, muttering curses under his breath, paige waited until the sound of his footsteps disappeared, then she closed the door slowly and turned back to you, her eyes were softer now, but still fierce.

“you okay?” you nodded, your voice was rough “i am now.” she crossed the room, knelt beside the bed, and pressed her forehead to your bare thigh.

“im not letting him near you again” she whispered “i dont care what it takes.” the silence that settled after he left wasnt comforting, it was sharp and loud and full of echoes, his voice still rang in your ears, even though the hallway was empty.

Paige didnt say anything right away, she just watched you carefully, like she was reading every inch of your face for a sign you were about to fall apart, but you didnt.

Instead, you sat up slowly, reached for the hoodie at the edge of your bed, and pulled it on over your bare skin, it smelled like her, faint vanilla body wash and gym sweat and something else entirely her, you looked around your room, your gaze landing on your phone still facedown, your backpack slumped by the desk, a drawer half open with folded clothes sticking out "i dont want to stay here” you said, quiet, but sure, paige stood instantly “then your not.”

you looked at her, eyes wide “pack whatever you need” she said, already moving to your closet “You can stay with me,for as long as you want.”

It happened fast, you grabbed your essential, your laptop, your chargers, some underwear, toiletries, paige took care of the rest, she folded your clothes with that neat military precision of hers, stacked them into your duffel bag, you didnt speak much, you didnt need to, she knew exactly what to do.

It was nearly 1 a.m. when you finally slipped out of the dorm, the hallways were empty, paige carried one of your bags over her shoulder like it was nothing, you stayed close to her, heart racing every time a door creaked or a floorboard groaned, her car was parked just off the campus lot, she unlocked it with a click and opened the passenger door for you “get in.”

You slid into the seat, hugging your bag tight against your lap, paige tossed the rest of your stuff in the trunk, then got in and started the engine, she didnt blast music, she didnt talk.

Then she looked at you. “You did the right thing, im proud of you.”

masterlist.

🔖 — @addl0vee @tndaqlwifwy @mrsarnold @melpthatsme @bellaprintz25 @janaelalfysblunt @ellehoops @belsoulss @apbueckers @uwupaige @janaelalfysloml @paige05bby @azzisbueckers @paigeluvvr @giavonnii @jupitermoonbaby @shootingstarrrrr @dalilahissilly @luldejamleer @d7dream @gabbyygoo @bravemode @latenighttalkinqwp

#lesbian #wlw #wlw smut #wbb #uconn wbb #paige bueckers #paige bueckers fanfic #paige bueckers x reader #paige x reader #paige bueckers smut

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tideswept · 2 days ago

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fic preview

this is the weirdest fic I've written in a while lmao. a/b/o but like... berry style (you have been warned)

---

“You’re what?” Obi-Wan blinked at Anakin’s hologram, examining him for traces of a lie. Some tell, that twitch he sometimes did with his mouth when nervous.

Anakin had the audacity to shrug. “I said, I’m an omega.”

“Forgive me for being somewhat taken aback, Anakin, as this is the very first time you have mentioned it.”

“Hadn't been relevant before.”

Obi-Wan leveled him with a stare. He was reeling, an uneasy burn in the pit of his stomach. Anakin had presented at age 11, far too young, but the healers had expected as much, since his body had suffered through so much abuse and malnutrition as a slave; suddenly getting long-overdue medical attention and nutritional meals had kicked his biological system into fits and starts. Presenting early had been one of the possibilities they’d prepared for, and the moment Anakin had shown signs, Obi-Wan had marched him to the Hall of Healing and then not seen his Padawan for eight days.

When Anakin had returned, he’d done so with a prescription and scent blockers so strong that they had made Obi-Wan sneeze until he’d grown used to it. That Anakin was an alpha was unspoken knowledge that never had to be stated. It wasn’t unusual. Many Jedi who had a secondary gender chose not to mention it.

Now Obi-Wan was having the deeply unnerving realization that he’d taken his young, pretty, reckless omegan Padawan into some of the worst pits in the galaxy, confident in the assumption that, as two alphas, they would never run into any issues.

Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose. “And you bring this up now…? When the Dorashians finally replied?”

Anakin waved a hand. “It turns out they'll only negotiate with an omega. And since you and Ahsoka are alphas, and none of the clones have secondary genders, that only leaves me—unless we want to wait days, possibly weeks, for an omega emissary we can trust to negotiate for us.”

“The Dorashians will only negotiate with—”

“An omega. Yeah. They sounded pretty pleased that an omega was a GAR general.”

Anakin already told them. Stars help me.

#berryfic #obikin

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hummingbird24220 · 3 days ago

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Bite by Bite | One Piece x Reade

One Piece x Reader (Hints more towards Sanji x Reader)

TW: Emotional/Physical abuse mentioned, eating disorder, puking hinted at.

—-------------------------------

The scent of freshly cooked food drifted through the air, savory and rich, curling from the galley like invisible fingers. It was mouthwatering, the kind of smell that could make anyone's stomach growl. Yours didn't. It twisted.

You stood at the edge of the deck, fingers wrapped tight around the wooden railing of the Thousand Sunny. The sea sparkled below like it didn’t know how cruel life could be. You almost envied it.

Behind you, footsteps approached—light and carefree.

"Meal time!" Luffy’s voice was unmistakable, bright as the sun. “Sanji made a mountain of food, c’mon!”

You forced a smile and turned to face him. “Yeah! I’ll be right there,” you said, injecting some fake excitement into your tone.

Luffy beamed and bounded off without a second thought, yelling for the others. You stood there a moment longer, inhaling deeply through your nose, then exhaling slow. Okay. You can do this.

The dining room was loud. Chatter bounced from wall to wall—Zoro snarking at Usopp, Nami rolling her eyes, Chopper giggling. Sanji set down a plate in front of you with a flourish.

“For you, mon chéri,” he said with a wink.

You nodded stiffly. “Thanks.”

It looked good. Smelled incredible. You picked up your fork and stared at the food like it had insulted you personally. Everyone was busy, no one looking directly at you. That helped.

You cut a small piece. Just a bite. Just one. Then you can relax. You slid the food into your mouth and chewed, slow, deliberate, like you were trying not to wake a sleeping beast in your chest.

“Not hungry?” Robin’s gentle voice cut through the noise.

You blinked, hand frozen mid-move.

“Oh—uh, no, I am. Just eating slow today.” You smiled too wide. “Trying to savor it.”

She tilted her head, dark eyes unreadable. “That’s wise.” She didn’t push. She never did.

But the weight of that one glance lingered.

You managed to get through half the plate, then tapped your fork against the edge like you were finished. No one noticed, except Sanji—of course he noticed.

He frowned subtly but didn’t say anything. You were thankful for that.

You excused yourself early, claiming you were tired. Once in the bathroom, you braced your hands against the sink, breathing hard.

Sometimes it was easier to just not eat. At least then, you didn’t feel the war happening in your gut—guilt, fear, the echo of words that still rattled around your head from childhood.

"You don't deserve that." "Stop eating like a pig." "You're just being dramatic."

You splashed water on your face, cold and sharp. A reset.

You weren’t in that house anymore. You were on a ship with people who laughed with their whole hearts, who fought for each other like it was breathing, who welcomed you like you were someone worth knowing.

Still. The habits clung like barnacles.

Later that night, you sat on the deck alone again, knees tucked to your chest. The stars scattered across the sky like spilled sugar.

You didn’t hear Zoro approach. He leaned against the railing beside you, arms crossed.

“You didn’t eat much,” he said without looking at you.

You winced. “Noticed that, huh?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. So?”

You glanced over, expecting judgment. There was none—just quiet observation.

You sighed, head resting on your arms. “It’s... complicated.”

“Life usually is.” He paused. “You don’t have to explain. But we notice. We care.”

Those two words—we care—struck harder than you expected.

You nodded slowly. “Thanks.”

Zoro looked at you again. “Just don’t starve yourself, okay? You’re part of the crew now.”

And somehow, that meant everything.

—----

The Sunny rocked gently beneath you, the sound of waves like a lullaby for the heart. But even with the ocean’s calm, your mind was far from quiet. Sleep didn’t come easy on nights like this—not when your chest felt heavy, not when the past clawed its way to the surface.

You sat on the observation deck wrapped in a blanket, knees hugged close, watching the stars again. They were a strange comfort. Distant. Untouchable. Safe.

Chopper had given you a mug of warm tea earlier, pressed it into your hands with a sleepy smile. “You don’t have to drink it if you’re not feeling good. Just... I dunno. Thought it might help.” He scurried off before you could say much, his little hooves clacking against the wood.

He always knew when you weren’t okay. They all were starting to figure you out, piece by piece.

You took a sip. Warmth spread through your hands, but your chest still ached. And then—without meaning to—you let the memories come.

You were little again.

Your legs stuck out from the kitchen chair, socks mismatched, face sticky with jam. Your mom leaned over the stove humming a soft tune, flipping something on the skillet with practiced grace.

“There’s my sweet dumpling,” she cooed, turning around and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “You excited for pancakes today?”

You nodded enthusiastically, chubby cheeks puffed with excitement. Your mom made the best pancakes—soft and golden, with just the right amount of vanilla in the batter.

She reminded you a little of Sanji, now that you thought about it. The way she cooked like it was a love language. The way she fed people to show she cared. The way she made you feel like you mattered… at least, when it was just the two of you.

But then the door slammed.

Your little body flinched automatically, fingers tightening around the table edge.

He was home.

Your dad’s voice was gruff and loud, already irritated. “What the hell are you feeding her now?”

“She’s just a kid,” your mom said gently, but firm. “She’s hungry. Let her eat.”

“She’s always hungry,” he spat. His eyes landed on you like you were something offensive. “Look at her. No self-control. No wonder she’s so fat.”

The words hit harder than a slap.

You shrank in your seat, appetite gone instantly. Tears burned your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You knew better. Crying just made it worse.

“She’s beautiful,” your mother said, tone tight. “And strong.”

“She’s weak,” he growled. “And disgusting.”

You barely tasted the pancakes after that. And from then on… you started pushing food around more than eating it.

The wind picked up, tugging at your blanket as your eyes blinked back to the present.

The tea had gone lukewarm. You hadn’t even realized you were crying.

A soft thud behind you startled you. You wiped your face quickly and turned to find Sanji standing there, hands in his pockets, a cigarette between his fingers. He didn't look surprised to see you here. Maybe he'd been watching from the shadows a while.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, voice low.

You shook your head. “Too many thoughts.”

He took a drag from his cigarette, then let it trail out into the night air. “Want company?”

You hesitated, then nodded.

He sat beside you, close enough to feel his warmth. Neither of you spoke for a bit, just listening to the creaking of the ship, the waves lapping at the hull.

“You ever had someone tell you eating made you unlovable?” you asked suddenly, voice barely above a whisper.

Sanji didn’t answer right away. He set the cigarette down in the little tray beside him and looked straight ahead.

“Not exactly,” he said. “But… I was starved. Literally. There were days where the hunger made me hallucinate. I thought if I didn’t eat, I’d disappear.”

You turned toward him slowly.

“I guess we’ve both had food turned into a weapon,” he added softly. “But I got lucky. Zeff… he saved me. Taught me that cooking could be kindness. That feeding someone is like saying ‘I want you to live.’”

You swallowed hard.

“I had a mom,” you whispered. “She was like that. She made everything with love. Pancakes, soup, even sandwiches. But my dad…”

Sanji waited.

“…He made me feel like eating made me disgusting. Like my body made me unworthy of love.”

Sanji’s jaw tightened. His voice was calm, but his eyes burned. “He was wrong.”

You looked down, fingers tightening around your mug.

“Can’t seem to unlearn it,” you admitted. “Even when I want to eat… I can’t always finish. Or I feel sick after. Or I punish myself later.”

Sanji shifted, turning toward you. “You don’t have to unlearn it alone.”

You blinked.

“I’ll cook for you,” he said. “Not to make you eat. But to remind you you’re allowed to. You don’t have to earn it. You’re already worth it.”

The tears came again, this time without shame.

Sanji smiled softly and nudged the mug in your hands. “Start with tea. One sip at a time. Bite by bite.”

And so, under the stars and beside the ship’s cook, you took another sip of the tea.

Warm. Real. Safe.

—----

The scent of breakfast filled the galley again, just like every morning. Warm, rich, comforting. Today it was egg sandwiches, seared potatoes, and a side of something sweet you couldn’t quite name—but it smelled like cinnamon and safety.

You sat at the table with the others, hands folded politely, eyes locked on your plate.

They didn’t rush you. Not a single one.

Luffy was elbow-deep in his fourth sandwich, cheeks puffed out like a squirrel. Nami was sipping coffee and scanning the latest map updates. Usopp and Franky were arguing over who could eat more, Chopper giggling at their antics. Robin offered you a quiet smile now and then, her eyes kind and patient.

And Sanji? He didn’t even look at you after placing your plate down. Just hummed to himself at the stove, but you noticed the toast was cut in perfect triangles, the food arranged just the way you liked.

You were trying. Really.

You managed a bite. Chewed it. Swallowed. The taste was good. Really good. But your chest still squeezed a little, like eating was something you had to survive, not enjoy.

That’s when Chopper spoke, his voice unusually serious.

“Can I ask you something?”

You blinked and looked up. Everyone else quieted. Even Luffy paused mid-bite.

Your heart skipped. “Sure?”

Chopper twiddled his hooves nervously. “I don’t mean to upset you… I’ve just… We’ve all noticed that… you don’t eat much. Or sometimes you eat and then disappear for a long time after. And I’m a doctor, and I—I’m supposed to notice these things, but more than that—we’re your friends. We’re worried.”

His voice cracked slightly at the end, big eyes wide with honest concern.

No one laughed. No one rolled their eyes.

They all just looked at you with the kind of care that made your throat close up.

You set your fork down slowly.

“It’s not about your cooking,” you said first, glancing at Sanji.

“I know,” he said quietly. No ego. Just truth.

You looked at Chopper, then the rest of them. “I… I had a dad who made food feel like punishment.”

They all stilled.

“I was a chubby kid. Always hungry, always happy to be in the kitchen with my mom. She loved feeding people. She was like Sanji—she made food with love, made it feel like a hug.” You paused, swallowing the lump in your throat. “But my dad... he hated how I looked. He’d mock me, insult me in front of everyone. Call me names. Sometimes he’d take my plate away and tell me I didn’t deserve it.”

Robin’s hands folded gently in front of her. Nami’s face had gone pale. Luffy frowned—an expression that, on him, meant real anger.

You kept going, even though your voice cracked.

“I started… hating food. Then hating myself for wanting it. I’d try to eat, and then feel disgusting after. I still do, sometimes. I know it’s not rational, but those words—they stick. Even now, when I’m safe. When I know no one here would ever hurt me like that.”

Your hands trembled in your lap.

Chopper crawled up beside you without hesitation and took your hand in his small hoof.

“You’re safe now,” he whispered. “And I’m really glad you told us.”

“I didn’t want to make it awkward,” you said, a shaky laugh escaping. “Didn’t want to ruin mealtime.”

“You didn’t,” Nami said, voice soft but strong. “You being here with us—that’s all that matters.”

“I don’t care if you eat slow,” Luffy added. “Or even if you just want to sit with us. I like having you here.”

Zoro gave a grunt that meant agreement. Usopp nodded with a tiny smile.

Sanji finally turned around, leaning on the counter. “What they said. I’ll always cook for you. Even if it’s just a bite. Even if you just look at it.”

Tears fell silently down your cheeks, but this time… they didn’t burn. They felt like release.

Robin passed you a handkerchief with a small smile. “Progress isn’t always a straight line.”

You wiped your face and picked up your fork again. This time, when you took another bite, your hands didn’t shake as much.

You weren’t alone anymore. And here—on this ship, with this crew—you had a seat at the table.

Always.

—---

It started with something small.

A sliced apple.

You found it on the edge of the counter that morning, already peeled and cut into neat, perfect little wedges, with a tiny skewer shaped like a dolphin stuck in the center. No note. No big deal. Just there.

You almost didn’t touch it.

But your stomach gave a quiet nudge, and your heart whispered try, so you did. One piece. Then another.

You didn’t finish the whole thing, but that wasn’t the point.

Later that day, Luffy came bounding past you on the deck, yelling something about meat and fishing and adventure. He skidded to a stop when he saw you sitting with a book in your lap.

“Hey! Want to come with me? I’m fishing!” he grinned, eyes sparkling.

You hesitated. “Uh… I don’t really fish.”

“Cool,” he said, already grabbing your wrist, pulling you along. “You don’t have to. Just hang out.”

You expected him to chatter the whole time. But instead, he sat on the edge of the ship with his fishing pole, legs swinging off the side, and just existed next to you. Quiet. Peaceful.

You didn’t say anything either. Just watched the water. At some point, he passed you a small, wrapped rice ball from his pocket with a shrug.

“Sanji made extras.”

You held it for a moment.

“You don’t have to eat it now,” Luffy said simply. “Or ever. It’s just there.”

You didn’t eat it right away. But you kept it with you. That felt like something.

In the afternoon, Nami called you to help her organize the pantry.

It was cramped and warm, and there were a hundred jars of dried herbs and spices you didn’t know the names of.

“I figured you might want to help with something to distract you a bit,” she said offhandedly, balancing a box on her hip.

You paused. “You’re subtle.”

She smirked. “I’m effective.”

She didn’t talk about your eating. Didn’t ask how you were doing. But she handed you little tasks, gave you praise when you got something right, and let you take breaks when you needed to. It felt… normal. Easy.

At one point, she nudged a small jar toward you and said, “Smell this. It always makes me hungry.”

You sniffed the spice and wrinkled your nose. “Smells like Christmas.”

“Exactly,” she said with a little grin. “Even smells can heal.”

Zoro didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look at you when you sat near him later during his training session.

But he shifted his position slightly, just enough to let you sit where the wind would hit your face. It was cooler there. Quieter.

And when he finished his sets, he offered you his water bottle without a word. You took it. Drank a few sips.

He nodded, like that meant something.

And maybe it did.

That evening, you were sitting at the table again. The galley smelled amazing, like roasted vegetables and seasoned meat, with hints of lemon and garlic.

Sanji set a plate in front of you. But this time, it was smaller than the others. The portions were perfectly bite-sized, simple, not too much.

You looked up.

His expression was calm. “I figured we’d try something new,” he said lightly. “You finish that, I’ll make you dessert.”

You smiled. “That’s cheating.”

He gave a wink. “Only if it works.”

You ate slowly. And yeah—you finished the plate. Every bite. Not because you forced yourself.

But because you wanted to.

That night, tucked into your hammock, you stared at the ceiling and thought about all the little things. The apple. The rice ball. The wind. The spice jar. The smaller plate.

They hadn’t made a big deal out of anything.

They didn’t hover. Didn’t pressure.

They just adjusted.

To you.

And for the first time in a long time, you felt something bloom in your chest that wasn’t fear or guilt or self-hatred.

It was something soft.

It was something safe.

Maybe even… healing.

—-

You didn’t sleep much that night.

Not because of anxiety this time—but because your mind wouldn’t stop racing. A restless, buzzing kind of energy had taken hold. Not dread. Something else. Something like... purpose.

They’d given so much without asking for anything in return. A gentle silence. A smaller plate. A seat at the table. Space to breathe.

And you wanted to say thank you.

But words never felt like enough.

So you crept into the galley before sunrise, the ship still wrapped in a hush, the sky outside soft and pink with early light. Sanji would usually be in here by now, but he’d had a late night fixing up extra preserves for Nami. You had a window.

And you had a plan.

You started with what you knew.

Your mom’s pancake recipe—light, fluffy, with a hint of vanilla and orange zest. You used the griddle with care, browning the edges just right, flipping with the same kind of love you’d watched your mother pour into every meal she made.

Then came roasted vegetables, seasoned with cracked pepper, thyme, and a drizzle of olive oil. Fresh fruit, sliced neatly and chilled. You even made a honey-sweet sauce for dipping.

And finally, a savory frittata packed with herbs and cheese, because Sanji once said breakfast should feel like a gift.

You wiped your hands on your apron and took a long breath. The kitchen was warm. You hadn’t felt this alive in years.

When Sanji walked in, he froze in the doorway.

The galley smelled like a dream. His cigarette drooped slightly from his mouth.

“What the—?” he blinked, stepping closer. “Did you—?”

“Yeah,” you said, nerves starting to rise. “I just—thought maybe… I could cook. Just once. As a thank you. For everything.”

Sanji looked like he was trying not to cry. Or explode from pride.

“Well, damn,” he murmured, eyes scanning the table. “Looks like I’ve got competition.”

You smiled sheepishly. “I know it’s your domain. I hope that’s okay.”

He grinned and clapped a hand to your shoulder. “You’re part of this crew. You can set the kitchen on fire and I’d still say thank you for trying.” He paused. “But this—this is art.”

By the time the rest of the crew rolled in—some sleepy-eyed, some hungry and loud—the galley had been transformed.

Luffy paused in the doorway, nose twitching, eyes wide. “Whaaaat is that smell?!”

“Breakfast,” Sanji announced proudly. “Courtesy of our brilliant chef-for-the-day.”

You stood there awkwardly as they all looked at you, faces lighting up with surprise and curiosity.

“You made all this?” Chopper squeaked.

You nodded, suddenly shy. “I… wanted to thank you. For being patient with me. For not pushing. For just… being kind.”

Zoro raised an eyebrow, already sitting down. “Well, I’m not gonna complain.”

“I didn’t know you could cook like this,” Usopp said, piling fruit on his plate.

Nami popped a slice of frittata in her mouth and made an impressed sound. “Okay, what the hell. This is better than half the cafés I’ve been to.”

Luffy stuffed three pancakes into his mouth and tried to say something, which you think was “You’re amazing,” but it came out as muffled chaos.

Robin, sitting quietly, took one bite and smiled like she’d just read her favorite line in a book. “Delicious. And filled with care.”

Your chest warmed.

You watched them eat—not with dread, not with envy—but with pride. You fed them. You made something. You gave back.

It felt like reclaiming something stolen from you.

Sanji leaned beside you as the crew kept eating, elbow resting on the counter.

“So…” he said, voice low. “Feel good?”

You looked around the room—at laughter, and crumbs, and second helpings—and smiled.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “It feels like love.”

He gave a soft hum. “That’s what food is, when it’s done right.”

And for the first time in a long, long time, you believed that.

#Luffy #Sanji #Zoro #X reader #Reader insert #Tony tony chopper #Fem reader #One piece #Usopp #Nami #Nico robin #One-shot #sanji x reader

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dowscal · 2 days ago

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promise me ───୨ৎ───

pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

summary: After running away from home, you meet a stranger at a bar.

warnings: 18+ / language, age gap, unprotected piv sex, mentions of domestic abuse, alcohol and cigarette use

a/n: okayyy, this is my first fic, so you’re gonna have to ignore a lot of things <33 Just read and enjoy. For a better experience, play the music i put for the scenes.

He downed the whiskey in one gulp. For the past few nights, he hadn’t broken his routine of leaving work and coming here. He held out his glass to the bartender for a refill.

“Where’s Murphy?” Joe asked.

“Not everyone is as single and free as we are.” Javier replied with a faint smirk.

Joe let out a hearty laugh. “You’re right.”

“Hey,” Joe said, “When are you bringing me some of those things…”

“Fuck off, I’m not doing that.”

“Why not? You get loads of them every day. Aren’t you stealing a bit?”

Javier pulled out a pack of Malduros from his pocket, lit a cigarette, placing it between his lips as he noticed the bar door open. A girl, visibly drunk, stumbled in.

“Shit,” Joe sighed. “I hope she doesn’t puke on my tables.”

Javier took another drag from his cigarette, watching the girl and her unsteady movements.

She was wearing a black dress, her hair a mess, and her mascara smudged. She looked like a wreck, but she was still undeniably attractive. She was making quiet, sob-like sounds.

When you caught Javier staring at you, you shot him a glare and snapped, “What the hell are you looking at you son of a bitch?”

Javier quickly looked away and turned back to Joe. They exchanged glances, and he finished his freshly refilled drink in one go.

A little while later, your quiet sobs escalated into full-blown crying. Javier battled the temptation to look at you. That’s when he heard a voice. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

When Javier turned, he saw a guy standing next to you, trying to caress your cheek with his fingers. He was clearly trying to take advantage of your vulnerability.

“Fuck off, leave me alone.” you snapped, pushing his hand away.

The guy smirked. “Who made you cry like that? Want me to buy you a drink?”

Javier’s jaw clenched in anger. He was torn between ignoring it and walking over to grab the guy by the collar.

Let me buy you a drink,” the guy insisted, and Javier couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up and walked toward you. “Leave her alone.''

The guy looked Javier up and down, then, without a care, kept pushing you. That’s when Javier lost his patience. He grabbed the guy by the collar and shook him violently. “Didn’t you hear what I said motherfucker?”

You watched them with a confused look on your face. Your thoughts were all over the place, and you weren’t even sure if it was real or just a hallucination.

When the guy got grabbed by the collar, he looked at Javier in shock. “Hey, hey, calm down, I… I was just trying to help.”

Javier shoved him away. “Get the fuck out of here.”

“Hey, blonde! Yeah, you!” You called out to Joe. “Tequila.”

Joe rolled his eyes; he didn’t want anyone that drunk in his bar.

“You shouldn’t drink any more, you’re already wasted.” Javier said, still not sure why he even cared.

“I’m fine. I just need to forget, just for a little longer.”

Javier raised an eyebrow. “What is it you need to forget?”

When you started crying again, Javier realized he shouldn’t push you any further. “Hey, hey, alright, look… you’re in a bad place right now. Let me take you home.”

“I don’t have a home anymore,” You kept crying. “I have nowhere to go.”

Javier didn’t know how to respond, but he didn’t want to press any further. “So, what are you going to do?”

You shrugged. Meanwhile, Joe brought the tequila. Javier shot him a look that clearly said, Are you serious?

He finally asked, “What’s your name?”

“My name… my name…” You paused, as if unsure. “y/n”

“Alright” he said, slowly taking the glass from your hand. “Stay at my place tonight. You can leave in the morning when you feel better.”

“What? You’re a pervert too?”

Javier froze and looked at you. “No, I’m an agent. You can trust me.”

Just then, you vomited on the floor. Joe groaned, “Damn it, get her out of here.”

Javier grabbed a napkin from the table, wiped your mouth, and helped you stand before guiding you out of the bar. He helped you into his car and fastened your seatbelt.

Your head was still spinning, and as you looked out the car window, your stomach churned even more. You took deep breaths. You couldn’t control your thoughts at that moment, but you couldn’t help noticing how protective this stranger was.

Javier’s phone rang. “Sí?” He answered in a raspy voice. His tone always deepened when he spoke Spanish.

You heard a woman’s voice on the other end of the phone, but you were too drunk to care who it was.

“No, no puedo venir esta noche, Gabri.”

Javier glanced at you sitting beside him. You still looked pale and miserable. Meanwhile, he responded to Gabriela.

“No puedo venir, tengo una invitada. Te llamaré más tarde.”

Javier hung up the phone and turned to you.

“You hungry? We’re almost there. I can grab something for you if you want.”

A strange warmth settled inside you, sparked by his quiet protectiveness. You didn’t know what you were doing, what you were feeling — what you were supposed to say. Instead, you reached out, placing your hand on his thigh, and slowly ran it upward.”

Javier tensed, his grip on the wheel slipping for a second. “What are you doing?”

He pulled your hand away from his thigh. The sensation of your brief touch lingered, but he pushed it aside, relieved that you had finally made it home.

You started crying again. Javier got out of the car, walked around to your side, and opened the door, helping you out. While Javier fumbled for his keys, trying to keep you upright in his arms.

“Do you bring every drunk girl you find at the bar home with you?” you mumbled.

Javier didn’t answer. He just unlocked the door and guided you inside, leading you to the couch in the living room. “Just stay here for a bit, okay?”

“I feel dizzy…”

“I know. That’s why you need to lie down and rest. I’ll get you some water and a painkiller.”

You stayed on the couch, watching him disappear into the kitchen. When you tried to glance around the room, your dizziness only worsened. The furniture and decorations blurred together. If you were sober, you would never have walked into a stranger’s house. You would never have been lying on his couch. But you weren’t sober. And you had nowhere else to go. You knew you didn’t have much of a choice.

A few moments later, Javier returned with a glass of water and a pill. He handed it to you. “Here. Take this.”

Slowly, you sat up, took the pill from his hand, and swallowed it with a sip of water. Your face was still pale, and the remnants of your lipstick had settled into the cracks of your lips.

If you were sober, you’d definitely care about how you looked in front of a guy this handsome. Your makeup would be flawless. But you weren’t. You had no idea what you even looked like right now.

After taking the pill, you suddenly started laughing for no reason. Javier ran a hand through his hair, watching you, thinking about how ridiculous you looked.

“I’ll get you something more comfortable to wear.”

“Wait,” you said. “No need.”

The silly giggles from earlier had turned into a lazy smirk. “What’s your name?”

Javier glanced at you, at the dress straps slipping off your shoulders. “Javier.”

“You said you had nowhere to go. I won’t push you to talk about it, but you can… if you want to.”

Your gaze dropped, and your eyes filled with tears. “I left home for good.”

Javier raised an eyebrow. “How old are you?” He was surprised; you didn’t seem like someone who still lived with your parents.

You swallowed, your gaze still fixed on the floor. “Twenty six.”

“So why did you leave home?” Javier lit a cigarette. “Are you one of those ‘I have issues with my family’ types? Look, when I was around your age, I had my fair share of problems too, but family always has your best in—”

“My stepfather had been abusing me.” You cut him off as a single tear slipped down your cheek.

He felt like shit for trying to give advice without knowing a damn thing about your life. And when he saw that tear fall, it was like a knot formed in his throat—he couldn’t even swallow. He had no response. He just waited for you to continue.

“My mom didn’t believe me. No matter how honestly I told her everything. How he came into my room every night, crawled into my bed, pressed himself against me, and then…”

You couldn’t keep talking.

Javier held up a hand. “Okay. You don’t have to.”

You could feel the alcohol’s haze slowly wearing off. “I couldn’t stay there anymore.”

Javier was still seething with anger at what he’d just heard. Even though he barely knew you, he felt like he’d do anything to keep you safe. But that was just who he was—always had been. The same way he took care of his informants. So, feeling protective of a woman with nowhere else to go? That was nothing new for him.

Something else, a different feeling, was taking root inside him, something he didn’t feel for his informants. It was like he wanted to keep you around.

“You can stay here as long as you want.” he said without hesitation. “My upstairs neighbor, Steve, and his wife… you can meet them. They’ll help you with whatever you need.”

You looked at him through tired, half-lidded eyes, thinking about how different he was. Different from your stepfather. Different from your real father. Different from your ex.

♬ - Nena Venetsanou - Lilith

You reached for his arm, tentatively, trailing your fingers down to his wrist, then lower, brushing against his fingers.

Javier felt the same tension creeping back in. But your touch didn’t feel unfamiliar. It felt like something he’d known forever—like something that had always been there.

You held his hand more firmly, staring into his brown eyes as you slowly moved onto his lap and sat down. While he was still trying to make sense of what was happening, you cupped his face and pressed your lips to his. All the love you’d been holding in for years, you finally let it pour onto the lips of someone you thought deserved it.

For a moment, everything around Javier seemed to stand still. The warmth on his lips began to spread throughout his entire body. He could still taste the tequila on your tongue, a reminder of the drunken haze. His arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, as he let the moment consume him.

It wasn’t like anything before. Even though you were still drunk, you could feel it. It wasn’t like any kiss you’d had before.

You kept kissing him, sucking on his upper lip and his mustache.

A hoarse warning came from his mouth. “Don’t.”

Without stopping, you started unbuttoning his shirt, and he grabbed your hands. “Stop.”

“Why?” you asked.

“You don’t know me. And you’re drunk.”

“You don’t know me either.” You said.

“You’re not thinking clearly.” He replied.

You kissed him again, this time more roughly, continuing to unbutton his shirt, your hands searching for their way.

Your eager movements were driving him wild. When he reached for your hands to stop you, he realized you had already unbuttoned all of his buttons. You clung to his neck, kissing him fiercely, hearing his breath quicken.

You knew the reason he didn’t want this wasn’t because he didn’t want you, but because he was trying to protect you.

When he realised you hadn’t stopped, despite how much he was enjoying it, he grabbed your hands, which were wrapped around his neck, and warned you again, this time louder—actually shouting, “STOP!”

You pulled your face away from his neck and looked into his eyes, breathless.

“Why?” you asked again.

“I already told you why.” he said. “I can’t make you go through what your stepfather put you through. I’m older than you, and by doing this, I’d remind you of him.”

“I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now.” You said.

He studied your face, wondering if you were sober or still drunk. He swallowed hard, unable to hold back any longer. He pressed his lips to yours, his hands gripping the curve of your hips under your dress. He hurriedly pushed you down onto the couch, unzipping your dress and pulling it off. He pressed his lips to your neck, his mustache lightly brushing your soft skin. “I shouldn’t have brought you here…” he growled while sucking on your neck.

You moaned softly, your eyes closed. One hand tugged gently at his hair, while the other roamed across his waist, your nails digging into his skin lightly.

He unhooked your bra with one hand, pulled it off, and tossed it aside. A cold sensation spread over your breasts, and you relaxed. He buried his face in your chest, and kept kissing.

Your hands slowly slid down to his belt, and when he felt your hands reach there, he started kissing and sucking harder.

You unbuckled his belt, your movements weakening with the pleasure he was giving you.

“Javier…” you said with a breathy voice, more of a sweet moan.

“Let me do it,” he said.

He took off his belt himself, unbuttoned his pants, and pulled down his zipper, lifting his face from your chest to look into your eyes. “Do you want it?”

You nodded, breathing with excitement. Your heart was pounding wildly in your chest.

First, he pulled your underwear down with his fingers and took it off, then hurriedly pulled down his own boxers.

He was hard as a rock, and with one brutal thrust, he slammed into you, filling you completely.

You moaned loudly, a sharp pain shooting through you. He pressed his lips to yours, swallowing your moan, making you forget the pain. He began moving, hitting deep inside, the warmth spreading along his length.

This mix of pleasure and pain made you forget all the pleasures you had known before, as though they had never existed. You wondered how you had been deprived of such pleasure all this time. Your body burned with desire, your legs trembling even more as his pace quickened.

“Fuck…” He let out a muffled groan, suddenly realizing he had entered without protection.

You grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him closer to kiss him harder, pressing your lips firmly against his.

He started thrusting harder into you, your breath quickening as you moaned, tears welling up in your eyes.

As he kept fucking relentlessly, you suddenly found yourself crying.

Hearing your soft sobs, he froze, looking at you with concern.

“Hey, hey… what’s wrong?” He asked softly.

“Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face.

“Why are you crying?” He asked, gently wiping your tears with his thumb, his confusion evident.

“Promise me you won’t leave me.” You pleaded, your voice breaking. “Promise me you won’t leave me after tonight.”

He looked at you softly, as if he could read the pain behind your gaze. Deep inside, it felt like a new emotion had been unlocked. Slowly, he leaned down and kissed your forehead. “I won’t leave you,” He said softly. “I promise.”

The feeling of him still inside you stirred both your body and emotions, and you began to move again, almost as if urging him to continue.

He looked into your eyes, his body burning with desire once again from your movements, and he started moving again.

He felt himself growing more intense, nearing the point of release, struggling against a force that surged from his balls to his cock. “FUCK.”

He quickened his pace, your heart fluttering in your chest like a fish out of water.

“Javi!” You moaned his name as you started to cum with his hard thrusts.

He couldn’t hold back anymore; he tried to pull out, but you didn’t let him. “Cum. It—It’s okay.”

His breaths became erratic. He didn’t know what he was doing, but he couldn’t resist any longer and did what you asked.

“FUCK,” he groaned.

You closed your eyes when you felt his warm seed inside you.

As he struggled to control his rapid breaths, he collapsed on top of you, kissing your shoulder, while you ran your fingers through his hair.

He wrapped his arms around you, and you felt small like a twig between his large arms, defenseless and fragile. You felt weaker than you ever had before. When he kissed your shoulder, you turned your head and gently kissed his ear. All of this felt strangely familiar. For a moment, you forgot everything you had been through. You finally had a home.

#pedro pascal #narcos #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña smut #fanfic #pedro pascal smut #joel miller #fluff #smut

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moonchild9350 · 1 day ago

Text

Tangled in Your Everglow

summary: your hearts in two, your soul is torn but there’s healing possible if you make that leap and take a chance.

pairing: Hyunjin x fab!reader

genre: strangers to lovers au, angst, fluff, slow burn, smut-18+MDNI

word count: 14.9k

warnings: brief verbal abuse, crying, unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, multiple rounds, nipple play, fingering, clit play, public sex, spanking, hair pulling, making love (i think that's it, if i left something off let me know!)

notes: i hope you enjoy this journey just as much as i did :). if so, let me know by liking, reblogging, and commenting!

please do not copy, translate, modify, or use this work elsewhere without my permission. ©️moonchild9350 (2025)

Heartbreak, despair. These are two words that you are unfortunately familiar with. The feeling of a thousand weights on your chest, crushing you, smothering you as your heart beats shattered and broken beneath all of the skin and sinew. Your head hasn’t felt clear in ages but instead feels fuzzy, as you go through each day as if on autopilot.

How does one get over heartbreak? Is it in the activities of your job? A day out with friends? Or maybe staring at yourself in the mirror night after night wondering what went wrong or why things never seem to work out for you.

You hate how much you give, how much you love, to those who don’t deserve it. How even after they have taken your heart and dragged it around in the mud you still give your all to them, hoping that they realize it was a mistake that everything will be fine and go on as normal.

You gave your heart to another person, went through the lies, the words, the expressions just to find out they did not want you anymore. All the years spent as a couple, a happy couple you thought, gone as if it never happened.

Your best friend thinks you should be over it by now, after all it’s been six months. How long does it take for you to get over someone? Apparently a long time. It’s not like you want to remain in the past, when you were happy with your partner, but there’s a disconnect between what your heart and mind wants and it’s just a confusing mess.

Scarlet, your best friend, is perched on your bed, swinging her legs back and forth as she examines her nails. She insisted on coming over to have an intervention with you, claiming it would be good for the soul.

“I don’t know why you won’t consider letting me set you up with Jake y/n, he’d be perfect for you,” she sighs as she watches you pace back and forth around your room.

You’ve been restless all night, the topic being love since she arrived. You love your best friend and understand she only wants to see you happy, but you’re not ready to date, to open your heart to another person.

Sighing you turned toward your friend and giving the most sympathetic look you said, “Scar, you know I’m not ready to get back out there. I’m still too…”

You paused for a moment considering what word would come out of your mouth next. What were you? Scared? Tired? Unhappy? Word after word floated through your brain, none of them seeming the right one to describe how you felt. However, the more you thought about it and the more Scarlet’s eyes focused on you, you came up with the perfect phrase. Fragile. Yes, you were still fragile, as delicate as a glass vase perched on the edge of a shelf, ready to fall at any moment and break into a million pieces.

“I’m still too fragile.”

Scarlet regarded you for a moment, taking in your disheveled look, the dark circles under your eyes, and how stressed you seemed. Her heart ached for you and she hated that you had gone through this, but she wanted to see you bubbly and happy again. She wants to see her happy go lucky friend.

“I know, but you need to start healing from this. Maybe you need to get away from it all. Go to a cabin or somewhere, breathe the fresh air and get a fresh start.”

A fresh start.

That sounded refreshing you couldn’t help but think as you turned to face your friend. She might be onto something. Getting away, just you and nature and solitude. Now that sounded perfect. You’ve always preferred solitude anyway.

“Yeah, I could go for that,” you said nodding.

You walked over and sat down next to Scarlet, grabbing your laptop to browse the internet. Luckily, you didn’t live far away from the mountains, the journey only being a short drive, so surely you’d be able to find a spot to retreat to for a while.

Many options popped up and you scrolled through all of them, asking Scarlet’s opinion on them and considering her feedback. However, none of the properties appealed to you as they were lacking the calmness and serenity you were seeking.

You were about to give up when a listing caused you to pause and look into it further. The home was beautiful, not too big but not too small that you’d feel like you were in a closet. It was located next to the lake, the waters glistening in the sun, seeming beautiful and smooth. The forest littered the background, the trees looming high above and inviting for you to come learn its secrets.

Deep down you felt like this was the place, the home you were meant to spend the summer at and heal. On the listing, there was a little bio about the owner, Hyunjin who seemed to be a five star host. That was good enough for you.

“I’m gonna book this place,” you told scarlet who scooted closer to peer over your shoulder at the screen.

“It looks beautiful and secluded, exactly what you need.”

You merely nodded agreeing with your friend. It is what you needed and deep within your heart you knew it was the right move to make. You looked at the dates available and as if it were fate, noticed it was open all summer. Selecting June to August and entering in your payment information, you pressed confirm, the confirmation page popping up shortly after.

It’s done.

You would spend a summer away, surrounded by nature and fresh air and the warm sun.

“Yay! It’s booked! Now let’s spend the rest of the night stuffing our faces with shit food and gossip until we pass out.”

You chuckled at your friend’s enthusiasm, grateful to have her in your life. She’s been there for you for years and helped you when your heart was freshly broken.

She came running when you called with the news, your eyes red and swollen from crying and snot running down your face.

“That son of a bitch, I’m going to kill them,” she exclaimed as she wiped your face, her eyes laced with concern. You recall how she tucked you in with a warm blanket and shoved a cup of tea in your hands and snuggled in next to you to just be there with you.

Now, you can’t help but smile as you watch her scramble around your room, setting the ambiance for the night, chatting away the whole time.

“So what are you looking forward to the most?” Scarlett asked as you both settled down, empty plates in front of you from dinner.

Thinking for a moment, you gazed out the window, taking in the skyline that you admired so much. “The solitude and peace, just knowing I’ll never see them again, especially in the middle of nowhere.”

Scarlet regarded your answer, letting out a soft hmm.

“You need this bestie. You need that spark back in your life. I know it’s been hard and I know you’re devastated about what happened, you definitely didn’t deserve it, but this will be the turning point. I can feel it in my bones.”

You smiled and gave your friend a hug, resting in the vanilla scent that you’ve come to grow used to. She’s right, it’s time to move on. Time to heal. You just hoped you will think the same when you’re by yourself for three months.

The time for your mini getaway arrived, quicker than expected, the warmth of spring giving way to the heat of summer. Your bags were packed and placed precariously by the front door, ready for when you’d need to leave later today.

You made sure your apartment was clean, everything put away for your absence. You’d miss the coziness of home, but you couldn’t back down…not now. Making sure you had everything you needed, you grabbed your bags and walked to your car. You were nervous. What if this didn’t work out? What if you’d have a breakdown in the middle of no where with no where to go?

Nervous thoughts continued to run through your mind as you slid into your car and turned the key, the car roaring to life.

“Here we go,” you murmured as you eased out of your parking space.

It would take you two hours to get there, the journey being a straight shot once on the interstate. You took small moments to admire the change in scenery, as it turned from overcrowded skyscrapers, to cozy suburban houses, to rolling country. It didn’t take long for the mountains to come into view, the peaks reaching high up as if it’s a beacon saying “I’m here, come journey within.”

You followed your gps, the robotic voice guiding you through twists and turns and wooded areas until the trees gave way to the lake. As you drove by, you couldn’t help but be in awe at the beauty of the body of water. The sun was shining down and casting sparkling rays, that it seemed as if the surface was glittering.

Turning onto a dirt road, you followed the path, your body slightly jostling as the tires rolled over the uneven road until a quaint house came into view, with a wrap around porch and a large welcome sign on the door.

“Wow,” you whispered taking in the abode, “this is something.”

Putting the car in park, you opened the door and got out, feet crunching on the gravel. As you made way to the trunk, the front door of the house opened, and a man walked out with a huge grin on his face.

You watched cautiously, ready to go into fight or flight mode, but was drawn at the looks of the man. He was beautiful, you couldn’t help but think his long, jet black hair that he had in a half up half down style perched gently at the nape of his neck. He was wearing a button down shirt that framed his toned arms and jeans that seemed a little fancy for the atmosphere he was in.

You’re not sure who he was as no where on the listing did it say “comes with a hot guy.” Fixing your face from a concerned look to a soft smile, you stood still as the stranger approached you.

“Y/n?” He asked, tilting his head to the side.

“That’s me.”

“Great! I’m Hyunjin the owner of this house. I’ll be helping out and dropping by to make sure your stay is nothing but wonderful. Can I help you with your bags?”

Hyunjin seemed chipper, too eager as if he was trying to make a good impression. And you guess he was since you’d wind up rating him at the end of your stay. Gesturing for him to go ahead, you watched as he lifted your suitcase out of the trunk, your eyes drifting down to his arms as they flexed with each movement.

He set the bag down and took a deep breath before letting it out. “Follow me.”

You nodded and followed him towards the house, your suitcase making a raucous as the wheels rolled over the gravel. As you stepped into the entrance way, you were taken aback by the home, the space seeming more cozy and beautifully decorated than the pictures showed.

The air conditioner was on full blast, the cool air wrapping around you in a cold embrace, cooling you off from the heat from outside. There was a sweet scent drifting through the air, a mixture of vanilla and chocolate that instantly made your mouth water. There were ceiling to floor windows on the far end, the forest visible but in a nonthreatening way. You wondered if you’d still have that thought later tonight.

“So this is the main area and to our right is the bedroom you’ll be staying in.”

Hyunjin walked to a door on the right, flipping the light switch on to illuminate the room. It was a truly beautiful room, the bed seeming very soft and comfy with the various blankets placed carefully on the bed. There was a nice sitting area in the corner of the room, and you could see yourself enjoying a peaceful afternoon there reading or sketching.

There was an in suite bathroom that was surprisingly not as elaborate as the other rooms, but still seemed nice enough.

Hyunjin rolled your bag to a corner and turned to face you. “There’s fresh baked cookies in the kitchen. Why don’t you join me for a snack and then we can chat about your stay.”

You knew you smelled something delicious and you weren’t let down. Cookies sounded great after traveling. You eagerly followed him to the kitchen, taking a seat in the chair that he offered you. Your eyes trailed behind him as he grabbed a plate and set two cookies down on them and placed it in front of you with a smile. He grabbed his own serving and sat across from you, his tongue dashing out to lick his lips as he stared at the warm cookie.

The first bite almost sent you to heaven, the gooey chocolate and soft dough melting on your tongue as the flavor of vanilla exploded on your tastebuds.

“These are amazing,” you moaned between bites.

“Thank you, I made them myself,” Hyunjin said proudly.

You noticed the dimples that appeared as he smiled, making him seem like a little kid. He truly was a beautiful man. Your mind began to wander, wondering how it’ll be to be in his company, but you were interrupted from your reverie by Hyunjin clearing his throat, a smirk on his face as if he knew what you were just thinking about.

“Oh wow, that’s impressive,” you said earnestly as you took another bite of your cookie.

“I cook, clean, and just make sure the grounds and house are up to standard. I would love to continue to do so during your stay if you don’t mind.”

Someone else doing the cooking and cleaning? Yes please. Who would you be to deny that?

“Of course, do whatever you have to.”

“Great! Well i have a key so I’ll be in in the mornings and then afternoons for breakfast and dinner. So don’t be alarmed if you hear someone moving around.”

You nodded, grateful for the warning because the first thing you’d think of if you heard something is an intruder.

“So what do you recommend for activities around here?” You might as well inquire about it since he was here. He seemed more than willing to share.

“Well there’s hiking. There are three trails you can explore. And the lake. It’s perfect for a dip after being in the hot sun or canoeing. There’s a little summer festival in town toward the end of summer. The house has a hot tub too, that’s around back and it’s open 24/7.”

There was definitely a lot to do and you’re sure you’d find more as the days went on. You honestly couldn’t wait to explore, to see what was beyond the trees, to breathe the fresh air and bask in the sun.

“Awesome, thank you Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin hummed in response, his eyes locked on you as if he was sizing you up. He kept his eyes on yours and at first it was fine but as minutes passed, you started to feel a little uncomfortable.

“So…uh, I guess I’ll get settled and if I need you, what’s the best way to get in touch?”

“Oh! Just text or call me. Here’s my number,” he said as he scribbled his number on a piece of a napkin.

You slid it closer to you and input the number in your phone. “Perfect thanks.”

“Of course and if you need anything just let me know. Have a good rest of the day y/n.”

Hyunjin got up and disposed of his trash and then let himself out, the front door closing with a soft click. You looked around and took in what would be your home for the next two months. It was quiet, with the occasional insects calling from outside. It was peaceful which is just what you needed.

Since it was getting darker, you decided to stay inside and unpack. The sunset was filtering in through the windows with vibrant shades of red, orange, and purple. Turning on your favorite playlist, you started putting things away. You explored a little as well, opening up drawers and glancing at pictures that were on display. You couldn’t help but admire the beauty as you’re sure these were photos of the mountains right outside your window.

After, you walked to the kitchen in search of food, after all that unpacking caused you to work up an appetite. But then you stopped in your tracks, remembering that you had no food besides the treats from earlier. You hoped that Hyunjin had left something in the fridge that you could easily cook up.

Opening up the fridge, you were greeted with the sight of a platter of meats and cheeses with a note placed on top of the plate explaining where the bread was for sandwiches. This little meal was okay with you. It was something easy and quick and still tasty.

You quickly made your sandwiches and brought the plate to the table and immediately began to dig in. The food was definitely hitting the spot, your hunger slowly ebbing away as you filled your stomach.

Once you were finished eating you took care of your plate and decided to shower, wanting to get an early night in after your travels today. The warm water felt amazing on your skin as the grim of the day washed down the drain. You lathered your body with your favorite body wash, the scent of strawberries wrapping around you in a soft embrace.

Getting out of the shower was not as fun as the cold hit your skin causing you to shiver. Cursing, you hurriedly dried yourself off and slipped into your warm pajamas.

Sliding under the plush covers was an experience of its own, the blankets slightly heavy to cradle you to sleep and soft to the touch making you melt instantly. You were out before you could count to ten, exhaustion taking over quickly. Your first day wasn’t so bad and Hyunjin seemed nice enough and your heart felt hope for the first time in a long time. -- — Hyunjin made his way home, his cabin not too far from the main house. His eyes focused on the road as the sky steadily became darker, the sun retiring and stars becoming brighter, but his mind was on you, his new tenant.

He rarely had single guests, most people visiting were couples or groups of friends wanting to experience nature but they end up being a nuisance instead. You seemed nice enough, shy and quiet, but friendly.

You had a melancholy aura around your figure, your body slightly haunched over and eyes filled with things you probably didn’t want to experience. He wonders why you came all the way out here, away from the city based upon the address you provided when you booked his place.

You had a story and a not so nice one at that. He could tell in your words, slow and drawn out as if it’s almost too tiring to speak and your voice as it barely rang out in the large space you two occupied briefly. He’s curious of that story, but that’s not his job.

All he can do is focus on making sure your stay is as comfortable and pleasant as possible.

You were able to sleep undisturbed for the first time in months, your eyes closing at the touch of your cheek on the soft pillow, your body tucked under the soft blankets. You were in shock at the fact as you laid in bed the following morning, rays of sunlight streaming through the windows alerting you that a new day has begun. You grabbed your phone and checked for messages, responding to the handful you received from Scarlet. You reassured her everything was fine, you slept well, and that the place was just as beautiful as in the photos. She seemed satisfied at your responses so you set your phone down and got up.

The bathroom was spacious and added to your morning routine, the water seeming extra crisp as it splashed against your face, your reflection in the mirror seeming even more appealing in the early morning hours which was never the case back home. Quickly, you brushed your hair and then threw on a pair of leggings and a loose shirt and padded to the kitchen.

You were in desperate need of coffee to help you fully face this day ahead. The coffee pot was placed conveniently on the counter with coffee grounds next to it. You set into the familiar feel of measuring out the grounds, one tablespoon to every eight ounces of water. Humming a little song, you pressed the power button and sounds of the gears coming to life filled the small space with the promise of a warm beverage in the near future.

Grabbing a mug, you poured some creamer in as you took a deep breath allowing the aroma of the coffee to penetrate your senses. You filled your cup with the steaming liquid and carried it to the porch, deciding to enjoy the early morning hours comfortably before the heat took over.

It was a beautiful day, the crisp morning air light as a gentle breeze came through tickling your skin. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, recognizing the scent of the pine trees and flowers that were nearby. If you focused hard enough, you could also smell the water, something soft and slightly sweet drifting through your nostrils.

Animals scurried about, completing their morning rituals before the heat of the day arrived. Your ears were filled with the various chirps of birds and the rustle of leaves, a mellow cacophony of sounds that put you at ease. Sip after sip, your coffee disappeared as you glanced around, taking in your surroundings and enjoying the peace and quiet, that is until you heard a bunch of branches snap as if a foot came down on the flimsy wood.

Hyunjin rounded the corner, dressed in sweats and a white t-shirt, and his hair pulled back. He smiled when he noticed you, his direction changing as he walked up to the porch.

“Morning y/n! Sleep well?”

You smiled in return, his cheery personality contagious on this warm, sunny morning. “Morning. I did, better than I have in a long time.”

“That’s good to hear,” Hyunjin hummed as he took a seat next to you. “I see you found the coffee pot.”

You merely nodded as you glanced down at your near empty cup. You wouldn’t mind having a second cup and wonder if you should offer some to Hyunjin. Looking up, your eyes met Hyunjin’s, his brown orbs trained on yours as he waited for you to speak.

“I’m going to grab another cup. Would you like one?” You asked as you got up and dusted the back of your pants with your free hand.

“Sure, I’d love that. Just black is fine.”

Disappearing through the door, you left Hyunjin on the porch. He wouldn’t mind. After all, you are bringing him back a cup of coffee. You poured yours and then grabbed another cup for him and filled it to the brim. Once back outside, Hyunjin graciously accepted the cup and took a sip as he glanced out at the lake that spread out before you two.

Hyunjin loves mornings out here, breathing in the cool, morning air, embracing the slight chill that prickles the skin, not enough to bundle up but enough to make the little hairs stick up on your arms. He loves the gentle lapping of the water along the shore and the occasional splash as a fish comes up to the surface as if it’s saying hello.

He sips more of his coffee, savoring the nutty taste of the blend, as you both remain quiet observing the view. You seem slightly more refreshed, yet still reserved, like something is on your mind.

He can’t help but turn to look at you, to take in how the sun is reflecting off your eyes causing them to shine and your long hair gently floating as a breeze passes through. He continues to stare until you realize his gaze is on you and you turn to look at him in turn. Hyunjin panics and scrambles for a way to ease the awkwardness.

“So what do you do for work?” He blurts out, silently cursing at such a cliche question.

You look at the man next to you, his face turning redder by the moment as he’s caught in his folly, and ponder his question. It’s a simple question really, one that you should be able to answer. However, a part of you is hesitant, cautious, not wanting to peel yourself back for this person. But, you’re being ridiculous, it’s just your job, so you say, “I work as a secretary at a law firm.”

Hyunjin nods, impressed by your answer. You take another sip of coffee, and then another and another until you drain the cup. Not sure what to do now, you sigh and then make to get up before Hyunjin stops you.

“Wait! Before you go, I was wondering if you’d like to go hiking with me? I can show you around the grounds, and maybe even teach you a thing or two.”

A hike? You haven’t hiked in ages, preferring to stay indoors if possible. But you can’t say no, not with how he’s staring at you with hope in his eyes, the curiosity burning within them to spend more time with you, pick you apart. You simply nod and reach for his cup, walking inside to set them in the sink before coming back outside.

“Let’s start over here. This trail is relatively easy and has some great views of the area.”

You nod and follow him, the leaves and dirt crunching under your feet as you take a step and then another and another. Your heart rate begins to increase, the blood working to pump throughout your body causing you to flush. Your breathing becomes more labored, but you try to control it not wanting to appear out of shape in front of this definitely fit man.

“So um, what brought you out here?” Hyunjin asks as he slows down to wait for you.

Taking a deep breath you let it out, your chest burning as your lungs inflate trying to gather oxygen. “Just needed to get away,” you murmur, as you focus on the ground trying not to trip over the many rocks scattered throughout.

You say nothing else which shocks Hyunjin. Was he out of line? He didn’t mean to make you feel cornered and him seem nosy. He was just making small talk, which seems like a no go for you. Instead of following up with another question, he walks on, his sight straight ahead.

You’re miserable. Your legs hurt, you can’t breath and you’re starting to sweat profusely, your body not used to this type of what you call vigorous exercise. You are walking up a mini hill now as you both make your way up the mountain, trees closing in on either side of you, with an occasional peak of the lake below.

Your mind is elsewhere and you try to distract yourself from this situation until you hear a huff and a thud. Stopping in your tracks, you stare startled at Hyunjin who is now on the ground on hands and knees completely still.

“Hyunjin! Are you okay?” You shout as you run to his side to help him up.

“Yep, yep…just uh…just tripped over a rock is all.”

Hyunjin stands up and begins to dust himself off, his face a brilliant shade of red. You can’t believe it, but this nature master has tripped over a tiny rock, the culprit a few feet away from where his foot made contact. You smirk and cover your mouth, trying not to laugh. However, one look at Hyunjin’s face and you lost it. You double over in laughter, the soreness of your body and fatigue long forgotten.

“Hey now! It’s not funny!” Hyunjin whines and crosses his arms as he pouts.

He looks adorable, like a child that didn’t get their way. Wiping the stray tears that have fallen from your eyes, you reach out to place a hand on his shoulder. “You’re right it’s not…it’s hilarious.”

Hyunjin huffs and mumbles something under his breath before turning away to continue walking up the trail. You follow close behind, feeling slightly more energetic after that little mishap. The gaps between the trees were widening and the sun filtered through the further you both walked. Before you knew it, you arrived at a rock that was blocking the path.

“We’re here,” Hyunjin said as he gazed at the top of the structure.

You stared at him giving him a look of confusion. Maybe that fall caused him to lose it because all you can see is a large rock in front of you. However, you didn’t have to wonder for long what Hyunjin meant.

“Well, let’s start climbing. Shouldn’t take long.”

“Wait…climb? We’re climbing that thing?!”

You stared at Hyunjin dumbfounded. There was no way in hell you’d be able to climb that. But Hyunjin began the process, placing one hand on a ledge and hoisted himself up. He slowly but skillfully climbed the mountain, his effort making the whole process seem easy. Not wanting to be left behind, you sighed and approached the rock.

Placing a hand on one of the ledges, you began the ascent, the pull on your muscles causing sharp pains to travel throughout your body. Despite your body protesting against your actions, you continued to climb, coaching yourself silently ‘right hand, left foot, left hand, right foot’ over and over until you reached the top.

Hyunjin was already there and helped pull you up, your limbs touching solid ground at last. Your breath was coming in short bursts, your arms aching and legs tingling.

“Come on y/n, come look at this.”

Taking a deep breath you stood up and dusting your hands before making your way to where hyunjin was standing. As you approached, you could understand why he wanted to make the climb. The scene was breathtaking, the valley below spread for as far as the eyes could see. The lake with its blue waters was huge, completing the scene straight out of a postcard. You couldn’t help but stare in awe at the beauty.

A feeling of peace rushed through your body, the pain that was ever present before slowly dissipating. You briefly closed your eyes and breathed in deeply, feeling the rush of air in your nostrils, letting it fill your lungs before letting it out, your eyes slowly opening to gaze at the scene before you.

Hyunjin watched you, softly smiling at how at peace you looked; a look that was so different from your expression when he first laid eyes on you. He felt a warmness towards you. Yes, you seemed quiet and reserved, but in this moment, Hyunjin feels he was able to see into your soul and a little bit of what plagued your beautiful mind escape and float away.

You both stayed there, standing side by side in silence, gazing at the scenery before you. The birds twittered and flew around, the sun continued to shine, and a soft breeze wrapped its tendrils around you both, cooling you off after the hike. The moment was serene, that is until it was interrupted by Hyunjin’s voice.

“Let’s head back.”

You nodded and turned around to go back where you started and began the descent, which seemed much easier than the way up. Hyunjin guided you down the trail chattering away about the lore of the forest and how it’s filled with everything you needed for survival. He seemed very knowledgeable about it which you were grateful for because you didn’t know one iota about the forest.

Once back at the house, he left you at the front steps, thanking you for accompanying him. You really had fun now that you could look back at your journey. Hopefully he’d take you hiking again soon.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Hyunjin sheepishly asked before adding, “If that’s okay.”

You grinned at the correction, finding it cute. Wait? Why did you find that cute? He’s just asking you a question. Wiping the smile off of your face you gave him a fixed look before simply nodding your consent. He cocked his head at your response, slight confusion on his face. He seemed like he wanted to say something about your sudden change in demeanor but decided against it because he slightly bowed and then walked off.

You watched him leave before going into the house, your body screaming for a shower. Quickly, you gathered your shower supplies and stepped under the warm stream of water, letting the jets soothe your aching muscles. You thought back to the hike, to how Hyunjin didn’t mind that it took you forever to catch up to him. How he filled the space with chatter, his gentle voice waking something in you that honestly left you terrified. He’s just your host and it needs to stay like that.

Coming to that resolve, you continued your shower quickly. After drying off, you slipped into some comfy sweats and a t-shirt and plopped down on the bed, letting out a content sigh. You closed your eyes for a quick rest, but within moments you were out, your mind and body exhausted from today’s activities. Despite the early hours, you slumbered peacefully dreaming of fields and flowers and a handsome man. A man that seemed to look an awfully lot like Hyunjin.

The days passed, many of them spent in Hyunjin’s company. You went on a few more hikes, venturing out to the more advanced trails each time. Surprisingly, you were able to keep up, your stamina building with all of the walking you were doing. Hyunjin taught you all about the arbor life in the area, pointing out which trees are which and explaining the different patterns of the bark of the tree to help you in your identification.

Most people would find that boring, you included, however listening to Hyunjin talk about things he loves is a sight you are so happy you have been blessed to see. His eyes sparkle brightly, illuminating his beautiful face as he gestures wildly with his hands, speaking so fast you have to beg him to slow down occasionally. The resultant giggle and ‘sorry’ that comes out of his mouth is so cute, as his cheeks heat up to a brilliant shade of pink and he bites his plush lips that look delicious.

You’ve grown used to his presence, expecting him to show up at the house after breakfast. You’re starting not to mind the company, feeling a stirring inside that you choose to not acknowledge, not wanting to face what it means.

It’s a cloudy day, the sky darkening by the minute and seeming ominous. You notice the trees swaying back and force through the window as you sip on a cup of coffee. The air feels thick and sticks to your skin making you feel sticky instantly. You are starting to feel worried that a storm may be coming in.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to calm your anxiety that is prickling at the edges of your mind. You breathe in and out slowly again and again until there’s a loud knock on your door, followed by a deep voice calling out to you.

Hyunjin.

You turn to see him bounding into the room, his hands full of bags filled with food. “Hey y/n! A storm is coming in so I brought you some groceries just in case.”

“Thanks…wait, just in case?” You inquire. Why would there need to be a just in case?

“Yeah, the storms can get pretty bad up here and so it’s always good to be prepared.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as Hyunjin confirmed your worse nightmare. “Oh…right,” you mumble as you try to hide your fear.

Hyunjin is chatting away about the weather as he puts your food away, filling the once silent space with sound in which you’re grateful. You hurry to close all the windows as the wind picks up and the sky grows ever more darker. As you latch the last window, the sky opens up and fat rain drops pound against the glass accompanied by thunder that shakes the frame of the house.

You quickly step away from the glass, backing away slowly as your breath comes in short pants. Your vision becomes blurry and you float to a different time and place, one where you were with ‘him.’

flashback Theo I’m scared…” you stood in the center of the room, frozen in place as your body trembles. A storm was raging outside and you were terrified of the sounds and the rapid lightning.

Your boyfriend Theo was sitting on the couch, tapping away on his controller ignoring you like you weren’t even there.

”Theo?” You whimpered, walking closer to the couch. Suddenly he threw his headset to the ground and stood up to face you catching you off guard. You took a step back as you were scared at what he would do or say next.

”Y/N, you are such a scared piece of chicken shit. What are you, five? It’s just a storm get over it and let me play my game.”

You watched as he sat back down and put his headset back on, complaining to the guys on the other end that his girlfriend was having another tantrum. You felt hurt inside and still scared, not knowing what to do as the storm raged on. Instead you opted to sit down in a corner, drawing your knees to your chest as tears fell down your face. ‘It’ll be okay, it’ll be okay,’ you repeated over and over until…

“Y/n? Hey you okay?”

You startle out of your reverie at the feel of Hyunjin’s hand on your shoulder. His face is laced with concern as he stares at you to make sure you’re okay.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine…just uh…remembered something. A memory.”

Hyunjin nods at your answer and drops his hand. “Wanna talk about it?”

You merely shake your head no and set the cup down that you were holding. Hyunjin continues to stare, confused as to what happened. He can tell you were elsewhere, somewhere in your past. Your expression was melancholic but you were trembling as if you were scared. He finds himself becoming more curious about you by the day.

At that moment, another rumble of thunder occurred and you let out a yelp, clasping your hands over your mouth in surprise. It was almost like a lightbulb went off over his head.

“You’re scared of storms,” he says matter of factly, happy that he put it together.

You hesitated for a moment but eventually mumbled a yes. “Sorry, I know it’s childish.”

“What do you mean? No it’s not. We all have something we’re scared of.”

You looked up at his statement, shocked that he wasn’t going to berate you for your fears. However, he is right. You wonder what Hyunjin’s fear is?

“How about I stay here with you during the storm…like a mini sleepover that lasts a few days,” he chuckles. “We can start by making dinner?”

You accept his offer without any hesitation, feeling safe whenever he is around. You are shocked by that revelation and a little scared as your heart is starting to lead you to dangerous territory. However, you don’t have long to ponder as Hyunjin beckons you to the kitchen.

He begins to pull out ingredients after playing some music. He hands you a chopping board and a few bell peppers. “Wanna chop these up?”

You nod and take the items and get to work, falling easily into the routine of cooking. It’s a fun affair as you both dance your way through the space, bumping into each other occasionally. Hyunjin belts out the tune that’s playing, very off key but with a smile on his face the whole time. At one point he drops what he is holding and grasps your hands just to spin you around the kitchen.

At first you were shocked but slowly you find yourself begin to smile until your laughter bubbles up and out. It’s a refreshing sound, one you almost forgot how it sounded. You fully embrace the moment and twirl around, spurred on by Hyunjin’s chants.

You grow dizzy though and soon have to stop and gratefully accept the glass of water that Hyunjin hands you. He smiles and then gets back to work, checking the pots on the stove while you finish your drink. You both work in harmony, working in haste to finish the food. Your belly is rumbling at the smell of the chicken dish and you try to sneak a bite while he’s not looking.

However, he spins around at the last second and catches you with the fork halfway to your mouth. “Y/n! No taste testing, it’s almost done!”

You giggle and shove the chicken in your mouth anyway, savoring the juicy flavor. Hyunjin merely pouts and grabs some plates and you hurry over to help him. Once your table of two is set, you both sit down with your meal and begin to eat, listening to the storm that is still going on outside. You find that you don’t even care anymore, feeling safe and less anxious around Hyunjin.

He engages you in chatter, something you find is easy to do with him. The words and drink flow and it becomes darker outside, as night knocks on the door to take over. Hyunjin gathers the dirty dishes and admonishes you as you attempt to help. You try to gather the dishes, but he threatens to tickle you instead and you give up instantly.

“Let’s watch a movie,” Hyunjin suggests once he’s done cleaning. He plops down on the couch and pats the space next to him.

You nervously sit down, placing your hands in your lap. Hyunjin throws a blanket over both of you and grabs the remote, his focus on picking the perfect movie. It’s thirty minute affair, but a movie is picked, a romantic comedy that you are shocked he agreed to watch.

He acts offended and gasps as he clutches his chest. “How dare you?! I am a huge fan of romantic comedies. I will not cry…nope not once during the movie.”

You chuckled, somehow doubting his statement. You’d have to keep a look out for the tear factory. The movie begins and you both focus your attention on the screen. You feel yourself melting into Hyunjin’s side, chasing his warmth and comfort as you continue to eye the window.

You try to focus on what’s going on in front of you, but your attention is easily diverted to outside, watching the flashes of lightning light up the dark sky. Hyunjin notices you, notices how you twitch under the blanket, how your eyes dart to the window, how you bite your lip over and over. He reaches out a hand and places it gently on your knee.

You look at the hand, taking in the rings that litter each finger and then drag your gaze to Hyunjin’s face. There is something there, etched onto his handsome face, a look you can’t quite place.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he whispers and you don’t have to question further what he meant.

He’s so much different than your ex. Hyunjin is gentle, kind, considerate of your feelings. He makes you feel safe and wanted. Even now your heart beats wildly within your chest and butterflies tumble in your belly causing you to blush furiously. Cautiously, you reach a hand up to his face, making contact with his soft skin.

You feel his breath on your wrist, nice and warm just like his soul. He gazes into your eyes, searching for your story, what makes you who you are. You keep it safe and locked up, deep in your psyche where no one can touch it, unpeel it, study it. Your eyes stare into his and then travel to his lips as you wonder how they would feel on yours.

Hyunjin seems to be able to read your mind because he gently grasps your face and leans forward, slowly until you can feel his breath blow across your face. You hear him swallow and then mumble something so deep, the words only come out as a rumble within his chest. You are about to lean away, your mind catching you slowly but surely to what your heart wants when he presses his lips against yours and holds them there.

He doesn’t move but holds your face against his before he leans away slightly. ‘Now’ you think but Hyunjin kisses you again and again in a soft and sweet manner. He shuffles closer to you and lightly strokes your face, marveling at how you feel against him. You feel your heart rate increase, the constant thump thump echoing in your ears.

It’s too much, it’s too gentle. You’re not ready for that yet, to be worshipped and treated as if you were the most precious jewel on the planet. Your breath comes in short pants, your hands become clammy. Hyunjin doesn’t catch the hint, but instead continues to press his plush lips to yours as if he’s memorizing how you feel.

You quickly grasp his shirt in your hands and bunch it up tightly and deepen the kiss, taking Hyunjin by surprise. He doesn’t stop but instead matches your fervor, devoting you whole as your lips clash together. You shove your tongue into his mouth and he lets out a moan, his hands reaching for your waist to pull you on top of him.

You are quick to grind your core over his bulge, savoring how his covered length feels against you. It isn’t long until you are desperate, wanting to feel him inside. Your hands drift to his pants and you attempt to free his cock but he stops you with a grasp on your wrist.

“Wait, we should do this right don’t you think?”

He goes to lay you on your back, but you quickly scramble to a seated position. “No, not that way…” Hyunjin stares at you in confusion, but decides to let it go as he’s just as desperate as you are.

He quickly rids himself of his clothes and you follow suite before getting on your hands and knees. You gaze out of the windows into the darkness, holding your breath as Hyunjin breaches your entrance, slowly pushing in until he’s flushed against your ass. He stills for a moment to allow you to adjust, but you feel your anxiety mounting inside your chest. “Move,” you command before adding “hard.”

Hyunjin is shocked, not sure if he should comply, but he’s quick to withdraw his cock just to slam into you as you command him to move again. He sets a rapid pace, causing you to groan out. You are reveling in the feel of his cock brushing your walls, his thick cock spreading you open with each thrust. The pain feels so good, reminding you of what you are, who you are.

“Touch my clit,” you pant out, letting out a moan as he immediately complies, swirling his finger around the bud over and over.

You listen to how he takes you, how his moans ring in your ears, drowning out the rain that hits the windows, or the thunder that rumbles. You can tell he’s close and your grateful, not wanting to think about the fact that he was a good fuck, no not good but incredible even. No, you’re not allowed to go there, to jump off the deep end and enjoy everything this man offers to give you.

But you will enjoy how he touches you, fucks you, brings you to climax in record speed. You whimper as your orgasm spreads through you in waves and you clench down on Hyunjin’s cock over and over again, trying to keep him inside. It’s too much for him and he comes a few thrusts later, filling you up with his hot cum causing you to shudder at the feeling.

You lay down as Hyunjin catches his breath above you. You focus on breathing in and out, in and out as he leaves to fetch a towel to clean you up. Hyunjin helps you up once you’re clean and cradles you to his chest, rubbing gentle circles on your back. You feel yourself slipping, deeper and deeper into the abyss, a place you vowed to never go to again, in fear of being hurt.

However, as you listen to Hyunjin’s heart beat, and feel his warmth seep into your naked body, you can’t help but succumb to the feeling within; that feeling that you are safe and you will be okay, if only Hyunjin can stay by your side. -- — Hyunjin startles awake and stares at the ceiling, one he isn’t accustomed to seeing. It takes a moment for him to realize he’s not at home and that there’s a body tucked into his side. He realizes he’s at the guest house and that you’re here with him. It dawns on him that you’re both naked, bodies pressed together and sharing warmth.

He can’t help but look down at your sleeping face which is etched with an impression he can’t quite make out. Your hand rests gently on his belly, your chest rises and falls slowly, steadily signaling that you’re in deep sleep. He can’t help but stare at your breasts, how perfect they are. He shifts a little and your nipple brushes ever so lightly against his side and puckers, causing him to bite his lip.

Hyunjin breathes in deeply and lets out his breath, calming himself down so he doesn’t seem like a horn dog. Instead, he stares out the window, seeing that morning is coming, the light getting brighter with each passing moment. Soft drizzle litters the glass with an occasional rumble of thunder and he feels himself becoming drowsy, sleep threatening to take over once more.

He holds you closer and pulls the blanket over your body and places a soft kiss to the top of your head. You don’t stir or make a sound, as you're still wrapped up in whatever dream is dancing across your mind. Hyunjin closes his eyes and relaxes, thanking his lucky stars that your path has crossed his.

You awake to the sound of sizzling and the scent of bacon. You sit up and rub your eyes, adjusting to your surroundings. The rain is pattering against the windows and it’s gray and dismal outside. You can hear Hyunjin whistling a tune as he cooks completely unaware that you’re awake.

It’s the perfect opportunity to sneak away to the bathroom and you do so, wrapping the blanket around you. The warm water feels good on your body as your sore, particularly in an area you haven’t been in quite a while. The feel of his cock is etched into your brain and the way he stretched you out perfectly.

A thought comes to the forefront of your mind and you shiver despite the warmth of the water caressing your skin. You like Hyunjin. You’re completely thrown off, confused and scared. You don’t want to open your heart and let him into the little crevices that have appeared over the years.

But this trip is also supposed to be a break from reality and lending your heart to him is exactly that right? As you stand there in the large shower, you come to a decision that you’d just enjoy yourself and let consequences be bygones.

After your shower, you dress in cozy clothes and pad to the kitchen. Hyunjin greets you with a smile and sets down a plate of food on the table.

“Breakfast is served!” He says in a sing song voice.

You chuckle and sit down and immediately dig in as you’re starving. Hyunjin joins you and you both eat in silence listening to the rain instead. You don’t look at the man in front of you but keep your gaze down on your plate. So when Hyunjin speaks, you're briefly startled.

“So wanna take it easy today? I mean…not that we have a choice,” he adds after considering what he said.

“I think that sounds perfect,” you respond, shoving another piece of pancake in your mouth.

“Excellent, let the rest of the sleep over commence!”

Hyunjin jumps up and cleans away the dishes and makes his way to the living area and turns the tv on. He sits on the floor and beckons you over once you’re down eating.

You decide to do a little reading so you grab your book and plop down in front of him and lean back against his chest. His body feels amazing behind you, warm and hard and perfect. You’re aware of how his breath fans across your neck, his giggles as he sees something funny on the screen.

You feel warmth in your core and your arousal trickle slowly out of your pussy, causing you to clench your thighs. Your eyes remain on your book, but you can’t comprehend anything as you’re preoccupied with the man behind you.

You hear a grunt and you almost turn around when Hyunjin murmurs “don’t,” low in your ear. You gasp and hold your breath as he drifts his lips across your ear and down to your neck. It isn’t long until he’s pressing wet kisses along your skin. His hands drift to your thighs and he holds them there, teasing you slowly, carefully until you mewl in desperation, wanting him to touch you more where you want him the most.

“Patience,” he hums in your ear again as if he can read your mind.

You tremble as he drags his fingers higher and higher until he reaches your waistband and slips his thumb inside. He slowly dips his hand further within the fabric until his long and nimble fingers reach your panties where he plays with the little bow that adorns the front of the fabric.

His breath is heavy and his cock hard as he presses you slightly into him, giving him the friction he craves. You adjust yourself slightly, your book slipping through your fingers when he tuts and picks the book up.

“Keep reading, don’t let me stop you.”

You attempt to read the words on the page but they blur together and you can’t focus. His hands slip into your panties and he runs his fingers through your wet folds and circles a digit around your clit, teasing, pitching until you’re panting, your chest rising rapidly as the pleasure takes over. Hyunjin is guiding you through it, whispering words of praise into your ear, accompanied by the occasional groan as he’s affected by your voice, echoing throughout the room.

Your slick coats his fingers, aiding in his ministrations and he lets out a hiss as his fingers slip causing you to whine at the mishap. He’s quick to find your clit again and begins to apply more pressure and circle his finger faster. You toss your head back onto Hyunjin’s shoulder, your book long forgotten as you chase that feeling that is beginning to spread, seeping into the very fiber of your being.

There’s a thud, as the book falls onto the floor and your hands grip his arms and you squeeze, so hard that Hyunjin lets out a groan as his head falls onto your shoulder. His breath is hot on your skin and you feel his teeth graze the area until he bites down, his teeth forming small craters in the otherwise smooth area.

The pain shoots through your body and mingles with the pleasure you’re feeling and you clench down, wishing for his cock inside you, stretching your pussy wide and making you feel full. He brings his other hand up and wraps his lithe fingers around your throat, squeezing ever so slightly that causes you to gasp.

His voice is gruff in your ears as he mumbles, praising you, teasing you, calling you a good girl, begging you to come, to flood his fingers with your arousal. You want to, let go and succumb to the pleasure that he’s giving you, but you need more, an extra push to get you over the edge that you desperately need. Hyunjin senses this, can tell you’re begging for something as he stares at your lips.

“Harder,” they seem to say and he chuckles as he tightens his hold around your neck all the while continuing to play with your clit. The sound of how turned on you are forms a symphony with your moans as they become more high pitch with each passing second.

You’re there, right on the cusp. You feel the oxygen slowly being cut off from your lungs, your brain feeling fuzzy and the room slightly spinning in front of you. The coil rapidly builds, tightens until it snaps and explodes with white hot pleasure that travels through your body and causes your toes to curl. Your vision goes dark for a moment and a high pitch buzz is echoing in your ears.

Seconds later, you hear Hyunjin’s deep voice in your ear, coaxing you to come back as he presses sweet kisses to your cheek, your neck, the corner of your lips.

“Welcome back,” he chuckles as you blink a few times, attempting to clear your vision.

You lay against him and try to calm your breathing, the rush of oxygen filling your lungs once more. You feel like you can feel the blood rush through your veins, traveling through your body, providing blood to areas that were briefly devoid of it.

“How long was I out?” You mumble as you struggle to sit up.

“Less than minute, so not long. Rest, I’ll go grab you some water.”

You lay back and watch as he shuffles to the kitchen, closing your eyes as you listen to the rain that has steadily pounded the windows. You open them to receive the water that Hyunjin hands you and greedily sip from the cup, feeling parched after your orgasm.

Hyunjin changes the channel and watches the screen, silent and focused as if he didn’t just give you a mind blowing orgasm. You’re left confused, but wondering why. It’s just sex, nothing more. You’ll spend the summer with him and then leave. But if that’s the case, why do you feel a pang in your heart after these moments? Why do you feel like you want to reach out to him, kiss his plush lips and share your hopes and dreams with him?

There are constantly butterflies floating around in your stomach, that fluttering feeling you’re attuned to that you only attribute to someone you’re interested in. You’re not interested in Hyunjin…right?

Hyunjin can tell you’re lost in your own world, your eyes unfocused and gaze somewhere else. He wonders what is going through that beautiful mind of yours. He can’t help but think back, how you look at him as if he’s the best thing in the world, but at the same time with reservation; as if he’s a tiger with his claws out ready to pounce.

He’s worried for you, concerned at your demands for harshness, something he’s not accustomed to. He wishes he can be the opposite, someone sweet, attending to your needs, loving instead of rough, demanding, and almost borderline cruel. You still haven’t divulged why you made this trip, away from the city into the middle of nowhere. Would it be wrong for him to ask again while you’re still slightly elsewhere in some other world?

Hyunjin knows it would be wrong, but decides to take advantage of the situation and ask anyway. Clearing his throat, he softly calls your name, his breath catching as you turn to look at him, your eyes slowing refocusing.

“So what brought you out here?” He’s blunt with his question, hoping you’ll catch his drift and answer.

You’re slightly taken aback by his question, your mouth dropping slightly. However, you recover quickly and drink the rest of your water and set the cup down. You take a moment to think, the pleasant feeling you were experiencing quickly ebbing away. You twinkle your thumbs, and consider if you should dive into your past, spill it all for this person who is practically a stranger. The last thought makes you chuckle because is he even a stranger? After all, he’s touched you in places that haven’t been touched in months and made you feel on cloud nine.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” he mumbles, a twinge of disappointment in his voice.

“No, it’s okay. I went through a bad breakup and he wasn’t the nicest. He wasn’t a nice person.”

You leave it at that and there’s silence filling up the space. You play with the fringe of the shirt you’re wearing, not wanting to meet Hyunjin’s eyes. One minute passes and then two and then three and you think Hyunjin will not reply until a moment later he does, his voice pregnant with pity.

“I’m sorry.”

Two little words that you’ve heard so much over the last year. Two little words that at first caused you to break down in tears due to your anguish that now fill you with anger. The feeling swirls around inside you, growing larger with each second until it threatens to burst out of you like a balloon with too much air. This is the opposite as to why you went on this trip. You didn’t want to think of your past and failures, the man that you called yours for so long.

Getting up, you turned to face Hyunjin, the shock on his face not fazing you. The anger bubbles, festers until it spills over, white hot and lethal.

“I don’t need your pity!” You screech, your face your sure is one of pure terror to the man sitting on the couch. “That’s all anyone says is I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Everyone but the one person who should have said it, apologized for the shitty things he did to me!”

You hate getting angry because when you do, the angry switches to something else. The flame dies, sputtering out and is replaced with sorrow, the pressure settling in your chest. You feel the tears gather in your eyes and you will yourself not to cry in front of Hyunjin who is now giving you a sad look. You fight hard, ball up your fists, breathe through your nose until you can’t hold it and the first tear slides down your face.

However, once one tear surfaces, more follow until they’re running like a faucet, tainting your face with water. You sink to your knees again and cover your face in your hands and cry, the sobs wrecking your frame as you mumble “Why didn’t he say sorry? What’s wrong with me,” over and over.

Hyunjin slides down to the floor and gathers you in his arms and buries his head in the crook of your neck. “Shh, shh, it’s okay y/n. I won’t bring it up again okay? I promise.”

You cry into his shirt, vaguely hearing his words. Your fingers grasp the material and you tug on it, gently the first time and then a little harder and then even harder still until he catches a hint. He lets his guard down briefly, and in that moment you push him down, not paying attention to the surprise that’s etched into his face.

You quickly shuck your shirt off to Hyunjin’s chagrin and grasp his hands to place them on your breasts. He’s hesitant at first, debating whether he should give into your administrations when you’re so distraught. However, the look you give him with your tear stained face decides for him and he massages the flesh, his lips falling open at the breathy moan you let out.

He teases your nipples and looks down at the mounds, mesmerized at how they harden at his touch, little pebbles beginning to pop up. Hyunjin brushes his thumb over the nubs, just a feather light touch over and over, memorizing your sighs as you push your breasts into the palms of his hands more.

Hyunjin feels himself fill out in his sweats, rather quicker than usual, the feeling becoming more uncomfortable as time passes. As if you can read his thoughts, you reach into his sweats and pull his cock out, smoothing your finger against the tip, spreading the precum that has gathered there around. You quickly rid yourself of your panties and then lift your hips, aligning yourself with his cock at your entrance.

Slowly, you sink down, taking all of him, tossing your head back in ecstasy at the stretch in this position. You waste no time and begin bouncing on his length, chasing the pleasure that is slowing replacing the sorrow that you felt previously. You revel at the moans falling from Hyunjin’s lips, savoring how his hands grip your waist tightly and the pain that arises when he digs his fingers into your skin.

He quickly takes over and guides your hips, dragging your pussy against his cock. You look down and take in your slick that now coats his pelvis and the hairs that litter the area. You don’t dare look at his face, not wanting to see his blown out pupils, his pants open as he pants at the feel of your warm pussy wrapped tightly around him.

Hyunjin knows you don’t want soft and sweet now but yet rough, so he brings a hand down to your ass, the sound of his palm hitting the flesh ringing out in the room. His hand comes down again and again, his cock twitching at how your ass jiggles with contact. You are perfect, just absolutely perfect in his eyes. He notices you slow down, your face now buried in his neck.

“Keep riding, don’t stop. Make yourself come,” he growls as he grips your hips tightly again.

You whine and speed up the motions of your hips, lost in the drag of his length against your walls, reaching your sweet spot and making your walls clench in response. The pressure begins to build within, slowly taking over and spreading warmth throughout your body. You are drenching Hyunjin’s cock, the sound of your wet pussy making Hyunjin lose his mind.

“So wet for me. All for me hm?” He teases, guiding your hips faster and faster until you’re moaning loudly in his ear.

“Mm gonna come,” you whimper.

“Yeah? Gonna come for me love? Go on then, come on my cock.”

Between his raspy voice in your ear and the pressure against your sweet spot you let go, your arousal gushing out of your entrance and coating Hyunjin’s pelvis and thighs. You let out a cry as you desperately ride his cock, savoring that high that you needed, obsessed with the way his cock felt inside you as your walls spasmed around it.

“That’s it,” Hyunjin groans as you clench around him until he lets go, filling you up with his cum.

You collapse against his body as he holds you, his fingers drifting softly up and down your spine. You’re breathing heavy and you find yourself nuzzling into the crook of his neck. There’s a shift in the air, if ever so softly that neither one of you acknowledges. You feel at ease, content against Hyunjin, savoring how his body feels against yours, how comfortable you are as he soothes you.

Hyunjin holds you with affection, making sure you are supported as you come down from your high, so different than the other few times you’ve shared together. He smiles as he feels you relax into him and he lets out a content sigh. The tv still plays, the actors and actresses acting out some scene and the rain still patters against the window, but the two of you are silent, enjoying each other’s warmth and comfort.

Eventually, Hyunjin stands up and brings you with him and walks to the bedroom, placing you within the warmth of the blankets. He slides in next to you and pulls you close, and watches as you snuggling into his chest and slowly drift to sleep. He watches your face, takes in the soft features as your eyelids flutter, your brain likely dreaming. As he stares at the beautiful woman in his arms, he slowly drifts to sleep himself, letting the feel of your warmth and sound of the rain and thunder lull him to sleep.

After that night, you both share a new routine, as Hyunjin stays most nights with you. Neither one of you speak of what occurred, what was discussed or lack of but instead embrace the new feelings.

Your time is slowly coming to an end and Hyunjin is determined to fill it with activities. You both are floating in the lake, the cool water kissing your skin nicely on this sweltering day. Hyunjin swims towards you and then splashes water in your face, chuckling as you let out a shriek. He does it a few times before snatching you in his arms, holding you close.

You giggle as he places a kiss to your nose and you wrap your arms tighter around his neck. His face is even more beautiful in the sun, with droplets of water slowly dripping down, his hair plastered to his face haphazardly. His eyes sparkle as they take you in and roam down your face to your lips which slightly part as if in invitation.

Hyunjin closes the gap between you and locks his lips with yours. It starts innocent enough but soon turns heated as his tongue tangles with yours and his hands pull you closer, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist. Still connected, he somehow wades his way to the shore and before you know it you’re both back on the sand.

He lays you down and flips you over, the unspoken rule between you two observed without question. Your swim bottoms are untied and fall away from your body and your legs spread, making room for him to take you. You sigh as Hyunjin breaches your entrance and begins snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just how you like it.

He reaches for your ponytail and pulls, a loud groan gracing your ears as he reaches deeper within you. He easily finds your spot that makes your toes curl as he spends time nearly everyday memorizing every part of you. He reaches around you and finds your clit, swirling quick circles around your bundle of nerves. He fucks you hard and fast, needing his release just as much as you need yours. His eyes travel to wear you meet his thrusts, his eyes glued to your ass, to how your pussy grips his cock and sucks him back in.

Hyunjin’s hips snap faster into yours, his rhythm slightly off as he feels his orgasm rear its head until he explodes, his vision blurring and his body twitching as he unloads himself within you. He savors your moans as you quiver around him, his orgasm setting yours off.

You whine at the loss of his cock, shivering as you feel his cum leak out of your pussy and onto the towel below. Hyunjin helps you get dressed and then helps you up. As you both walk back to the house, Hyunjin grabs your hand and laces his fingers with yours.

“So the festival is coming up…in town. I was wondering if you’d like to go?” He glances at you nervously, scared that you would decline his offer.

However, you think it a great idea and accept, smiling as he lets out a breath that he was holding. You were eager to see the town and attend the festival as Hyunjin mentions it multiple times a day. Being a local himself, he’s attended every year since he was child and he is over the moon you’d get to attend with him this year.

Maybe the festival was just what you two needed to become ever closer together.

You eye yourself in the mirror, fixing the strays hairs and dabbing at your lipstick that you had just put on. Tonight was the festival and Hyunjin was waiting for you, ready to enjoy a night on the town. You stepped back and eyed your dress one last time before grabbing your bag and turning out the bathroom light.

You walked into the living room to see Hyunjin jump up quickly from the couch, his face in awe at your appearance.

“You look beautiful,” he said, walking closer to you with his hand outstretched.

“Thank you,” you replied, your face heating up as you took his hand.

He led you to his car and helped you in, softly shutting the door. You watched as he slid in and started the car and backed out of the driveway. It was weird to see the house fade away and you as a passenger as the last time you went down this road was at your arrival in your own car.

You couldn’t believe that was almost two months ago, the time passing quickly. You felt lighter than when you came and you had the man sitting next to you to thank for that. You looked out the window as Hyunjin drove towards town, taking the many twists and turns in the road with stride. You wondered what the town would look like, whether it appeared like those that you would see on old movies, small and quaint and filled with joy.

You didn’t have to wait for long as Hyunjin pulled up to a parking lot and pulled into a space. As you both walked toward the center of town, you were taken aback by your surroundings. The square was lit with fairy lights and the fountain aglow with strings of lights, delicately wrapped around the base. Families and couples walked around, chattering away or hands filled with food. Children’s laughter rang out in the night air, the atmosphere as a whole light and filled with fun.

Hyunjin led you to a restaurant, with many tables outside filled with patrons. He walked up to the hostess who greeted you both cheerfully and led you to a table, in view of the beautiful square. You accepted the menu with a thanks and smiled as she handed Hyunjin his.

You looked down in silence, eyeing the many options in interest, your mouth starting to salivate at the delicious entrees. Finally you decided on one at the same time Hyunjin decided on his. You both placed your orders and began to chat, reminiscing on your summer together.

Conversation came easy as it always did with Hyunjin and the atmosphere made it even easier and lighter. Before you knew it, your food was placed in front of you and you immediately dug in, not realizing how hungry you were.

The meal ended without a hitch and Hyunjin paid the tab, leaving a hefty tip for the waitress. He patted his belly and sighed and then looked up at you.

“Ready?” He inquired and you nodded, ready to walk around and see what else the festival had in store.

Stalls lined the street on each side of the walkway, filled with wares and different treats. Hyunjin bought you an ice cream which you quickly ate, the cream and vanilla satisfying your sweet tooth. You played a few games, both of you loosing spectacularly but still having fun.

As you made it to the end of the stalls, Hyunjin grabbed your hand and held it tight, steering you back to the center of town. You took a deep breath, filling your lungs with the crisp, night air, feeling happier than you have been in a long time.

As you got closer to the center of town, the music became louder and you could hear people cheering and clapping along with the beat. Once you both arrived, you immediately saw the source of the commotion, as a mini dance floor had opened up and couples were dancing to the lively music.

It seemed fun and you wanted to join so you looked up at Hyunjin, hoping he’d catch your drift. He took one look at your face and understood immediately and pulled you along into the throng of dancing people.

He grasped both of your hands and you both began to dance, exaggerating your movements to the beat. The air was filled with laughter and cheers and your face was stuck with a smile as you danced away with Hyunjin. He had a plethora of moves and showed them off one by one, a small crowd beginning to form around the two of you.

Somehow, you knew how to match him, moving your body along to the beat and focusing on your partner. The cheers and hollers fueled your passion and you increased your energy, moving along flawlessly. The band took notice and played song after song, watching you and Hyunjin steal the show.

You’re not sure how much time passed but finally the band ended the last song and you both stopped, gasping for breath after such exertion. The crowd clapped and cheered before slowly dispersing, leaving the two of you standing close to each other with sweat dripping down your faces.

“Well that was fun,” Hyunjin said as he burst into a smile, his dimples that you loved popping up.

“It was,” you giggled and followed him off of the makeshift dance floor.

He grabbed you both waters and you decided to walk back to the car, chatting about how well the night went. The ride back to the house was a quiet affair, your ears still buzzing from the band. You replayed the night in your head, smiling to yourself as you remembered how you moved seamlessly with Hyunjin, like you both were able to speak to each other telepathically.

This summer truly has been fun and much needed and you were happy you chose to stay at Hyunjin’s house.

All too soon, his car pulled up the driveway to the house and he killed the engine. Hyunjin helped you out of the car and walked next to you up the stairs of the porch. You stood back as he unlocked the door and you walked into the hall, greeted by the fresh blast of cool air which you gratefully accepted.

Kicking your shoes off, you made your way to the bedroom, Hyunjin hot on your heels. As soon as you crossed the threshold, he grabbed your hand and spun you around until you were flush against his body. He pressed his lips to yours in a heated kiss, covering the gasp you let out in surprise.

Slowly, he walked you to the bed and pushed you down, smirking as you sighed and smiled up at him. He quickly undressed and you watched eagerly, your eyes focused on his hands as he stepped out of his pants, his cock that you have grown to love springing free from its confines.

Hyunjin reached for the straps of your dress and slid them down your arms before ridding you of the garment, his eyes glued to your body that laid bare in front of him. He wasted no time in spreading your legs and lowering his face to your pussy and licking a stripe through your folds before latching onto your clit.

You grasped his hair and guided his head, waves of pleasure traveling through you as he devoured you like you were his last meal. He knew the spots that would make your toes curl and you whimpered as he reached each one, you back arching off the bed. You were close, your orgasm threatening to spill any moment, but were disappointed as Hyunjin scooted away, wiping his face of your fluids.

“Sh, sh love, I got you,” he cooed as he grasped his cock and brought it to your entrance.

He slowly pushed into you, your walls accepting him without issue until he was buried within you to the hilt. Hyunjin took a deep breath before rolling his hips into yours slowly, deeply, taking his time dragging his length in and out of you. You wiggled beneath him, thrusted your hips up trying to get him to speed up, but he just stopped his movements, causing you to whine.

“Let me worship you love.” He whispered as he rolled his hips once more, his eyes glued to yours.

“You’re so beautiful. You’re pussy sucking me in, taking me like it was made for me. And it was hm,” he moans, still keeping the slow pace.

You watched as he grasped your hands and laced his fingers with yours and your eyes locked onto his. Hyunjin stared into your eyes, peering beyond the cornea, beyond the iris and deep into your soul. He read every movement, heard every sound, and felt every huff, pant, and breath you let out. His movements were precise, slow, practiced, so perfect that every drag felt overwhelming, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your core.

You felt sensitive, emotions rising up that you haven’t faced in years. You breath became shallow and you gasped for air, squeezing Hyunjin’s hand to try and ground yourself.

“Breathe, love, breathe…that’s it,” Hyunjin whispered as he eyed you, watching as you fell apart beneath him.

You took a deep breath, allowing the air to completely fill your lungs before letting it out, repeating the motion again and again as tears began to fall down your face. Hyunjin leaned forward into you, adjusting himself and buried his face into your neck.

As he whispered sweet nothings in your ear and dragged his length within you, you felt the coil build, slowly, tightly like never before. You felt your toes tingle and the heat spread to every corner of your body threatening to spill over. Hyunjin continued to make love to you as you weeped, your tears falling onto his shoulders as he gripped your hands tightly and pressed wet kisses against your neck.

“Come for me,” hyunjin moaned and you let out a shaky cry, squirting your release onto his cock and belly.

Hyunjin thrusted into you once more and stilled his hips, coming deep inside you, holding you flush against him. You both laid there in silence, coming down from your highs, relishing in the silence after your love making.

You buried your hands in his soft hair and held him close, your heart beating wildly. You felt love bubble up within, a feeling you haven’t experienced in a while and you let it take over until you were crying again, your sniffles making Hyunjin sit up in alarm.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a panic, worried that he had hurt you in some way.

You shook your head and smiled, feeling quite the opposite. Hyunjin sighed in relief and grinned before laying next to you and pulling you close.

As the night went on and hyunjin’s shallow breathing turned into deeper, drawn out breaths, your heart swelled with the love you had for this man. However, with every rainbow there is a storm and you realized that in a week you’d be leaving, never to see Hyunjin again. The thought made you sad and empty inside, and fresh tears began falling from your face. Maybe you shouldn’t have let yourself fall for him, but instead should have kept your distance.

Your last week went by quickly and you began to pack, making sure you gathered all of your belongings that had been scattered throughout the place over the last few months. Hyunjin watched solemnly as you scampered around the house, a sense of dread filling him within.

You both had not discussed what had happened just last week, as he made love to you, worshipped you. He’s been scared as to what you would say, worried that you would turn him down. But as he watches you pack some shirts, he wishes he would have taken the chance, confessed to you, and try to make this work.

He reminisces on how closed off you were when you arrived and how slowly but surely you blossomed like a flower, showing off your beauty once you felt safe and secure. He’d love to be that security for you, take care of you, love you, and cherish you, but it may be too late to voice so.

He bites his lips, his head filled with conflict, unaware that you were stealing glances at him every now and then.

You place your makeup bag in your suitcase and sigh. Hyunjin seems preoccupied, his mind elsewhere and you wonder what he is thinking about. He is thinking of you? The summer you two spent together, learning how to open up and care for each other, like a baby learning to take their first steps.

You’re silent, too nervous to question him and see what’s on his mind. Instead you finish up packing as you want to get on the road before dark. An hour later you are ready, your bags all packed and waiting by the door. Hyunjin stands in the middle of the floor, his hands in his pockets and his gaze on the ground.

You’re both silent, neither one of you wanting to say the dreaded words. But, the sun is steadily moving across the sky and darkness is threatening to take over. It’s now or never.

“Well thanks for everything,” you say, swindling your hands behind your back.

Hyunjin merely grunts and looks up into your eyes. It’s silent a moment more before you nod and grab your suitcase and walk to your car. Hyunjin follows you and watches as you load your bag and shut the trunk and round the side to the drivers seat.

“I hope you had a pleasant stay,” Hyunjin says, a professional smile plastered on his face, after all he’s only a host.

“I did. I really did,” you reply, your voice barely reaching his ears.

You make to get into the car when Hyunjin shouts your name and rushes toward you to take you in his arms. He presses his lips to yours for a kiss, one that conveys how much he loves you, how much he wishes you could be his. You return the kiss, allowing your hands to drift into his hair and touch the strands like you would do as you cuddled in bed, forgetting the world outside.

As Hyunjin steps back, he gives you a sad smile and watches you get into the car, carefully shutting the door behind you. He watches as you start the ignition and pull away, your car getting smaller in the distance. He sends his heart with you, hoping you’ll keep it safe; hoping that you realize it will always be yours.

You look back through your rear view mirror and see Hyunjin standing there, watching as you drive away. Your heart pangs and you take a deep breath and let it out, gripping the steering wheel even tighter.

You remember how you started this retreat, broken, lost, and alone. Your heart was closed off, a wall built around it, protecting it from anyone who was seeking it out. You reflect on how you feel lighter and can move on, leaving all of the pain in the past. You smile as you realize Hyunjin is to thank for that and hope that you two will meet again.

You send out your love to him, wish it to lodge deep in his heart so he can find his way back to you. While you manifest this thought, you feel a warmth take over and land in your chest, leaving you feeling at peace. You know it is Hyunjin, joining you for the journey and promising to love you for all eternity.

And with that, you’re okay. You promise to keep his love safe and protected until you’re able to see each other again.

divider by @cafekitsune

taglist: @jehhskz @jeonginsleftcheek @armystay89 @palindrome969 @ivydoesit23 @slut4hee @amarecerasus @baby-stay92 @kaysungshine @fun-fanfics @velvetmoonlght @possum-playground @katsukis1wife @my-neurodivergent-world @hanniebaeee @hwanghyunjinismybae @channiesrightasscheek @skzdreamer13 @lezleeferguson-120

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16ferrari · 2 days ago

Text

Sweet dreams | R.G

‧₊˚ ☁️ ✩ Rick grimes x fem!reader

��₊˚ ☁️ ✩ summary: a horny dream made into reality

‧₊˚ ☁️ ✩ warnings: unprotected sex, light choking, light slapping, I hate the ending very much. Proofread but maybe some missed errors

Walking into the house rick noticed it was quieter than usual. Usually you’d be up and about, cleaning, cooking or doing the laundry. But it was silent

He kicked off his boots and wandered further into the house, taking notice that you did in fact clean up, but you were still nowhere in sight. He walked up the stairs, each step he took a noise was made beneath him from the old wood the house was built on.

As he reached the door to your shared bedroom, he couldn’t wait but come to a halt as he heard a voice coming from the closed bedroom door. Hand covering the door knob he expected nothing less than a dark room, a light breeze coming from The window you left open every night in order to fall asleep faster than listening to the dead-silence that filled the house when Rick wasn't there.

He grunted as sat down on the bed. he ran his hands through his hair, tugging at it in pure exhaustion. he heard moving from behind him which made him cast a look over his shoulder to where you were laid down at.

you had Huffed and puffed in your sleep, hips grinding against the pillow you slept with in-between your legs. he raised his eyebrows, suddenly remembering the voice he heard, which turned out to be none other than you moaning in your sleep.

He slowly got up from the bed and walked over to your side of the bed. he stood over you and waited, and waited, until he heard that sweet song of his name fall from your lips.

"Rick, fuck. baby"

Rick crouched down, his hand reaching out to softly move your hair from your face to see the fucked-out expression you had in your sleep.

"aw, poor baby" he muttered to himself. His pants got uncomfortably tight as he continued to watch you basically fuck yourself in your sleep.

In your dream everything felt real, so fucking real.

He had you, hands pinned above you while he forced your body down to the bed. The entire room was filled from wall-to-wall with the sounds of your moans and the distrusting sound of his wet cock slipping in and out of your abused cunt. Your whole body shook with another incoming orgasm.

"wanna cum, please" you begged again, having been denied to cum since he put you in the position you were in. But again, no matter how much you begged he just simply chuckled and continued on fucking you like you were some sort of toy.

He never said anything to you in your dream. Just simply fucked and fucked you until your whole body ached.

Rick listened and absorbed your movements. The way your face twisted into nothing but pleasure and neediness while your hips shamelessly grinded into the pillow, fuck, he felt his breathing pick up, he needed to wake you up now.

“Sweetheart” he lightly shook your arm. “Sweetheart wake up, now” he saw the confusion in your eyes as you opened them, however he also saw a tear fall from your eyes.

“Rick?” You lifted your hand from your pillow to softly crease his cheek. You couldn’t stop the sob from falling from your lips as you looked right into his blue eyes. “It wasn’t real?”

Your body fucking ached with a strong desire to cum.

“No, sweetheart it wasn’t” he moved the hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear. “Want me to make it real”

You nodded your head, body laying flat onto the bed as he climbed ontop of you. He placed both hands on either side of your head as he leaned down to place a gentle but firm kiss to your lips, immediately you moan hands flying to grip onto his grayish hair. He took your moan as opportunity to force his tongue into your mouth.

He opened your legs wider for him to settle in-between. The kiss turned sloppy and nasty in a matter of seconds. He broke the kiss to plant kisses down your cheek to your neck, he left harsh bites that would be insanely hard to cover up but you didn’t care, you loved the pain of his teeth sinking into your neck. A deep groan from behind your throat fell from your lips as he backed his knee into your throbbing cunt

He knew exactly what he was doing by doing that, knew that just the slightest pressure on your cunt was on a high risk of making you come undone.

“Rick, please” you sobbed grabbing a handful of his shirt. “It hurts please” it truly did hurt, everything hurt on your body, you’ve never needed him more than before.

“Aw, baby, where does it hurt" he slowly traced his hand down your body, starting from your neck down to your tits and finally down to your panties, his hand hovered above the white cotton ones you wore. “Does it hurt here?” He messed with the waistband and watched as that small movement made your breath pick up.

You nodded fast, “y-yes, there it hurts” your back arched off the bed as he laid a slap to your covered cunt. You tried to close your legs but he was quicker than you and prided them open.

He pulled your panties down your legs, tossed them somewhere behind his head and Immediately went to work. You moaned loudly as you felt the wetness on his tongue lay directly on your cunt. His tongue moved all sorts of ways that he knew would make you more than Beyond weak. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down your face as you felt his tongue slip in and out of your hole, while his fingers rubbed circles on your bub.

“My god, rick please” one of your hand flew to grip onto his hair while the other grabbed onto your tit, “don’t stop” he continued slurping your wetness from your cunt.

You felt your body began to shake and finally that high you were chasing in your dream came true in reality. Your mouth hung open as you came, a load of silent moans fell out. “Fuck, fuck rick” your breathing was fast as you came back to reality.

Rick lightly slapped at your cheek, “you still with me honey” you nodded, completely dumbfounded. “Aw she can’t speak” he mocked your silence.

He sat up on his knees, “i know a way to make you speak again” he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down just enough for his cock to spring free. He hovered back over you, “still stupid, uh?” He tapped his tip against your wet and clenching cunt which made you snap back to reality.

“Am not stupid” just saying that made you feel stupid, and the laugh that left his mouth made you feel even worse.

“Of course you’re not stupid-“ you grasped as you felt his cock fill your tight hole, “just stupid enough for my cock that you dream about it” you grabbed onto the bedsheets as he sped up his movements enough that the headboard started banging against the wall.

“Fuck you feel good honey, tell me” he grabbed onto your neck, bringing your face close enough that you could feel his breath on your face, “tell me, you prefer the real me, not the dream me. Because only I can make you feel this way.

A slight jealousy of himself wasn’t something you would expect, but you suppose the real rick was ten times more better than a dream version of himself.

“Of-of course the real is better, fuck rick” he threw your head back down onto the pillow and continued on with his brutal thrust

“That’s what I expected”

#rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x you #rick grimes fanfiction #rick grimes imagine #rick grimes smut #rick grimes the walking dead #rick grimes fic #the walking dead smut #the walking dead #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead x you #rick grimes oneshot #twd smut #twd x reader #twd x you #twd imagine

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carimelmari · 1 day ago

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We need to clear this up.

Edit: before I get stupid comments, probably should've clarified, but this is a Sokeefe post, just in case anyone gets offended. BEFORE YOU READ, because I see this a lot (with ANY ship post) commenting that you don't like this ship is completely unnecessary and has nothing to do with the argument that I'm making. Just scroll past. Thank you.

When Keefe and Sophie get married, Keefes going to take her last name.

I don't care if Sophie Sencen "sounds better" I have heard countless arguments on why Sophie should take his last name yada yada. I'm not taking that bull crap. Besides, Cassius doesn't deserve that gratification.

You're telling me that Sophie Foster, potentially one of the most legendary people in Elvin history, who will be talked about when she's Ancient- thousands of years after the events of the series, should change HER last name? Her last name is what's gonna be known for the rest of time. Her children will be known more than the Vackers.

She's the elf who was raised by humans and has a human name. She's keeping her name to remember her human parents and honor them even if they don't remember her, or even have that name anymore.

I've also seen the argument that Keefe should keep his because he's not gonna let his family history change how people thought of him or what not or like he grows past the history of his last name. Compelling, but it isn't within his character.

Keefe taking her last name would symbolize him cutting ties with his abusers. After everything, his parents put him through, he's leaving them in the past, no longer accepting their abuse.

Taking the name Foster, is him looking towards a future where he's not constantly looked down upon. He has people who love him. He might even take Ruewen, becoming Keefe Foster-Ruewen-- and symbolically acknowledging how he has a family now. One that loves him. He will have in-laws who actually take care of him and care enough for him to start calling them both Mom and Dad. (Keefe will grow on Grady by that time. In stellarlune, he already is kinda there)

Keefe had already said that when he gets married, he's gonna take his spouse's last name.

And c'mon. He would love to be a Foster.

I know here in the forbidden cities, the man's last name tends to be the one taken. But the Elvin cities are completely different. They have completely different marital customs. Don't push OUR customs on a completely different culture.

#keeper of the lost cities #sophie foster #keefe sencen #kotlc fandom #keefe foster #sokeefe #foster-Keefe #sokeefe married

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boyfriendtodeathconfessional · 3 days ago

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A large reason I got into BTD + TPOF was the horror aspects and writing of certain characters; like Ren for example.

As fucked up as it sounds Ren is one of the only characters to share my same ways of being affected by abuse especially after being isolated by an abuser. The grappling at wanting to believe the abuser loved you and cared about you because you had a few good moments together, trying to explain away the abuse that happened to you, falling into old habits that you had during the abuse or learning the habits of the abuser and taking them on because it's all you've learned are all things I've done in my life as a result of being abused for almost my whole life.

To me Ren's route is terrifyingly realistic and something I can relate to. In one ending he cries about how he had literally no one except Strade and is trying to grasp the fact Strade did abuse him, all while still trying to explain and deny it. He says he loved him, which is something I found myself feeling about my abusers a lot. It's easy to believe they love you during the good times or even just when you've been alone for so long that any sort of affection, no matter how false or fucked up, reads as love to the mind. He feels like shit for not saving Strade, even knowing if he did he'd still be being abused because he thinks it's better that way because at least he'd still have someone, even if that someone hurt him so badly it altered his path of life completely.

Fox shares a lot of these relations as well. The want to have control so badly you'll do anything for it, grasping at any straws you can all while falling back into the habits you were trying so hard to escape. Fox himself doesn't exactly seem to enjoy hurting the MC once he gets to know them more, even stopping them from killing themselves on stream and saving them and instantly being concerned about their well-being even right before. He gets us the prosthetic because he wants us to stay alive. He doesn't want to lose us hence why he puts so much effort into us, even getting upset when we die in show 2. And furthermore he's still in denial about Strade once again. He says that all Strade did was make the scars but they didn't make him, but it's a lie. We know from BTD 2 that Ren can get better with the proper support and help, but In TPOF he never got that help. He wouldn't know how to be a showman or snuff streamer without Strade. Strade taught him all he knows and he doesn't want to admit that he's down this path because of him. He's repeating the same steps as his abuser while trying to deny he had any effect on him at all.

He tries so hard to please chat that he ignores his own wants. His wants to keep us safe and stay with him? He ignores them. In Show 3 there's a chance for a sprite to pop up where Fox tells you to wait, but then turns back to chat and see they're getting upset at him, likely making him worry as he thinks they may leave him if he doesn't listen. The people he's been trying to use as a substitute for Strade's affection turning on him the moment he shows worry for someone he's starting to care about. So upon noticing their reaction he addresses them, telling them he was just making sure they're having a good time while punishing himself for caring about us and trying to stop us by digging his claws into his wrists to make him bleed, punishing himself for going against those who he thinks love them, but they don't love him. They love that he's trapped himself again, that he'll do whatever they say no matter what because he's reliant on them. He thinks hurting the MC gives him some sense of control but in reality he's still completely lost any control he once had by listening to chat and not his own wants.

When you tell him "I thought you were the one in charge" it sets off to him that he in fact has never had control and has just been doing what everyone else wants. He only took you in because Celia said it'd be cute. It wasn't a genuine decision he made on his own. No decision has been.

In BTD 2 as well we can see endings where he ends up revictimized which is something I fear I've been through so many times, especially regarding sexual abuse. Ren becomes scared of you, terrified even, so he falls back into the old habits of listening and obeying because he thinks if he just listens it'll be ok. It'll be better that way. Fighting causes more issues so it's better to just take it, no matter how much it hurts and he doesn't want to. He'll force himself to like it, to love you, because now you're the one giving him the attention. You're who he'll be dependent on.

He also shows that abused can become the abusers as well, even if just by repeating actions they view as correct because it's what they've been taught and all they know. He doesn't know any other way, so he does what he knows worked to make him care about Strade and hopes it'll have the same effect on you.

Ren / Fox means so much to me as a victim of abuse because he shows the sides of abuse most people don't touch upon and are too scared to talk about or want to brush under the rug. It kinda sucks to me when I see people discredit him just because he's from a horrorporn game because he really is, at least to me from my own experiences with abuse and the aftermath/struggles, extremely accurate to the struggles that come after getting out of an abusive situation where all you know is your abuser and hold them to such high regard because you have no one else in life and will try to justify them no matter what because they're all you know and have or had.

#boyfriend to death #boyfriendtodeath #the price of flesh #btd #strade #tpof #ren hana

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i02dollia · 3 days ago

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A CONFESSION TO MAKE — seunghan hong ˎˊ˗

stalkers often develop an unhealthy obsession with the person or people they stalk. this obsession can manifest in various ways such as constant surveillance, unwanted communication, and a persistent fixation on the victim. stalking behavior is a serious issue that can cause significant distress and harm to the victim. if you or someone you know is experiencing stalking, it’s important to seek help from law enforcement and support services.

ᝰ.ᐟ pairing. stalker!seunghan x female!reader

warnings. seunghan is a complete mental case. is utterly obsessed with reader and thinks reader wants him back. he’s delusional. smut. is pussy obsessed. is extremely bipolar. goes from being angry, to sad, to happy again because of reader. medications. kidnapping. extreme manipulation and abuse.

the sound of the dry and bare tree branch hitting your window startled you—causing you to sit up and turn that way. obviously it was nothing but with the super childish imagination you had.. it felt like something much more than just the tree branch. 12:33am, it had only been a few hours since you fell asleep. allowing your body to fall back against the bed with a soft sigh, it was decided—text seunghan. lucky for him he was already standing outside your house in his usual place, attire, and camera in hand. what had caught him off guard was you texting him. his eyes widening reading what it said.. come over? at this hour? I mean.. he was already at your house but you didn’t know that. fuck. what was he going to do now? throwing the camera back in his duffel bag he carefully placed it behind one of the bushes that sat outside your window and rang the doorbell, standing at your front door as if he hadn’t already been here for hours now.

“seunghan! how’d you get here so quickly?.. who cares! come in. I couldn’t sleep and thought you were the best person to contact. can you sing me a song please?”

seunghan’s cock twitched in the black sweatpants he wore—you were so adorable and had no idea. that bothered him because all he wanted to do was show you how much you meant to him and just how cute and sweet you were. seunghan shut and locked the door behind him wishing he could just pull you into his chest, wrap his arms around that perfect waist of yours and inhale that sweet little scent of yours he adored.

“I missed you. I know it’s been a few days but.. you’ve been missed and I’m glad you invited me over.”

seunghan was always this sweet and it made your kind heart swell. giving him a small smile before turning to sit on the couch—patting the seat next to you and pulling your knees up to your chest. seunghan was a good friend of yours and had been for a few years now. he was perfect in every aspect. at least that’s what you thought. his eyes wondered your body that he wished to devour—noticing you wearing nothing but an old large tshirt, cute pair of socks, and.. fuck. he got a glimpse of your cute panties. taking a seat next to you he allowed his arm to wrap around your shoulder.. something he always did with you no matter the time or day. so—to you? this was completely normal.

“what’s the pretty girl been up to, hm? you haven’t texted or called in a few days and suddenly.. at midnight on a sunday night you do? what’s going on?”

what was going on? you couldn’t think of anything major or at least important enough to tell him. all you could do was shrug and snuggle into his side as you usually did, enjoying his warmth and scent. “I guess.. I just wanted to see you! is that okay?” oh god. his heart skipped a beat. you wanted to see him? did he hear that correctly? well shit.. if you two kept going on like this you’d see his growing length in his sweatpants.

“you’re such a sweet girl, you know that? such a sweet little girl. of course it’s okay. you can see me anytime you want. I promise.”

the obsession and stalking only got worse after that night. at first.. you wondered if having seunghan over was a good idea because it must’ve provoked whoever it is that’s doing this to you—but why? why do such a thing to an innocent person? love letters, polaroid pictures of you, lunches that were made for you with a sticky note on the top of it that would read “eat well” or “you’re so pretty” it was beyond concerning at this point and you weren’t sure what to do. tell seunghan? what’s he going to do other than tell you to contact the police but they wouldn’t do anything as of now—you haven’t even seen the person. god you were scared.

seunghan sat at home, in the office and stared intensively at the screen in front of him. eyes going back and forth to you room, the living room, and the kitchen just to see what you had been up too. poor thing.. you looked so stressed and he hated seeing that but why weren’t you enjoying his love? the letters, food, flowers, even pictures of you? why weren’t you enjoying any of that. seunghan ran his fingers through his soft black hair groaning at how ungrateful you were. did.. did he have to teach you? maybe that was it. teaching you how to be grateful for everything he’s given you.

that night you laid your head against the soft and cold pillow enjoying how it felt against your skin—for once you felt tired and it was all thanks to the sleeping aid given by your doctor. all natural of course but it’s said to be the best medication for sleeping problems. your eyelids grew heavy and the blissful feeling of sleep took over your body. when was the last time you were able to fall asleep this fast and easily? you couldn’t remember.

seunghan let himself in the home with the spare key you’d given him months ago—just in case of any type of emergency. was this an emergency? of course not. maybe to him since he missed you so much. ever since the problems you’ve been having with family and this stalker.. you never hung out with him. it killed him.

opening your bedroom door as quietly as he could, his eyes caught your sleeping form and a shaky breath left his lips. how could someone look so perfect while sleeping? it was a shock to him. placing his duffel bag on the floor next to your bed he took his camera and captured a few pictures—quietly groaning at the sight of your panties. making sure to get a few pictures of your panties or at least the best he could he took a seat at the edge of your bed, warm fingers grabbing at your ankle and rubbing the soft skin.

“you’re so perfect, you know that? you think we’re just.. innocent best friends but it’s much more than that. you don’t realize how bad I want and need you.”

seunghan’s other hand reached for his throbbing cock gently rubbing for a few seconds before pushing his sweatpants down and exposing it to the cool air of the night. “oh fuck.” he groaned and turned his head to spit on his own cock, rubbing the saliva around the tip and thrusting slowly into his hand. the sound of a whine leaving your lips made him quickly turn to face you, tossing in your sleep which caused the shirt you wore to bed lift up exposing more of your panties.

seunghan almost drooled at the sight—almost able to see that pretty pussy he’s been dying to get his hands on. he turned his body just a tad bit so he was facing you more, jerking himself off. “fuck. wish my hand was your pretty little mouth.” whatever it was the doctor gave you—knocked you out and at first he was a bit concerned but there was no way he’d be able to do this without that medication. “bet your cunt is so tight.”

the burning desire was growing intense and it almost scared him—worried he would take things to the next level but he’d never hurt you. he wouldn’t dare have you think of him as a weirdo. not at all. groans, whines, and moans left the man’s lips as he was growing closer and closer to his release. where? on you? fuck he would love it. you’d wake up to his cum all over your perfect thighs that he adored. he got up from your bed with his cock still in his hand and stood on the side closest to you, allowing his free hand to reach down and rub at your clothed cunt—wetness. oh god. you were so wet.

was it because of him? he was becoming a bit too cocky at this point but.. did you want him? you’d been friends for years and a lot of friendships turn out that way or at least he could only hope that would be the same for you two. “fuck. gonna cum on that pretty pussy..” the grip he had on his cock only tightened and the pace quickened until he came all over your cute little panties, leaving such an important piece of him behind. taking a step back from you and the bed he took a deep breath and allowed himself to calm down before pulling his sweatpants back up and taking a few pictures of his cum that covered your panties.

“s-seunghan.. someone was in my house last night.”

the sound of your shaky voice made his cock twitch, oh how badly he wanted to ruin that pussy of yours. it didn’t take him long to get to your house wanting to be there for you and comfort you—as he should. you wanted him.. didn’t you? god he knew it. the moment the door opened you had wrapped your arms around his neck and his wrapped around your waist, your scent making him feel dizzy. he kept thinking about.. how you walked around with no bra. feeling your boobs against his chest was making him feel as if he’d lose control. he can’t. not now. “hani.. I’m so scared. stay with me.”

stay with you? of course he would. he’d do anything to make you feel much safer. “of course, doll. I’ll do anything for my girl and you know that.” he always knew how to make your heart flutter in the best way. did he know you liked him? you weren’t sure and thought that he was just being a nice friends, that’s it.

for the next few hours seunghan wouldn’t leave your side and you were so thankful for that, he was always there when you needed him the most. he insisted that more cameras needed to be put up and you agreed. maybe then you would finally catch the creep who’s been doing.. awful things to you. “oh sweet girl.. come here, come to me.” seunghan must’ve noticed the tears running down your warm cheeks and his voice was so.. alluring. made you fall right into his arms just how he wanted it. although his hands were in places that you weren’t sure just a male friend would place them, you didn’t question it. seunghan placed a few kisses on the top of your head before he moved his head to place one on your wet cheek—making you smile. it was so sweet and you needed this.

“you’re such a pretty girl, hm? I’ll keep you safe.”

as the days went on—seunghan did keep you safe but that didn’t stop any of the letters, meals, flowers, or.. pictures. one had seunghan in it and it made your heart shatter. please don’t do anything to him. seunghan had the perfect mind. you’d never suspect it was him especially since he added himself in the photos, setting the camera up in such a obvious place but hiding it well and snap—picture perfect. this went on for months and months until you were completely medicated. which is what he wanted. it was then the perfect time to take you from the home you adored the most and take you far out into the countryside where you both could start a new life. away from your sick family, friends, and any male that tried taking you from him.

“yn? my pretty girl. wake up, we’re here! look at this beautiful cabin I found for the both of us.. don’t worry it’ll only be temporary. the police told me that it would be better for us to leave the city for a good while.”

when did he speak with the police? you weren’t aware of any of that but.. so thankful again. all you could do was nod your head and give him a cute smile as you got out of the car breathing in the fresh clean air of the countryside. “thank you hani..” his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you closer to his side and he pressed a sloppy wet kiss to your neck—“fuck.” he chuckled and brought you in the house with him. although you weren’t very sure of this.. kissing and touching he was doing with you, it was nice. nice to feel so important. you had a tiny crush on him and maybe he felt the same way?

every night seunghan would cook for you, sprinkling in the medication that he had prescribed for you. the doctor didn’t question it once he told her he was the boyfriend and now caretaker. the stalking case had gotten to you and—gosh poor thing couldn’t handle it anymore. he promised to get you all the help you needed. “I feel free.. happy for once.” you told him at dinner and he just couldn’t hide the smirk that tugged at his lips. seunghan was the happiest to hear that.

“I’m glad, princess. you know.. why don’t I get the bath ready for you? I think you need it since you’ve had such a stressful few months. we’re in a beautiful home now where you can enjoy things like baths.”

he was right—so with a nod to your head he stood from his seat and disappeared upstairs to get the bath ready for you. throwing in a relaxing bath bomb he recently bought, maybe it would calm you even more.

“my princess, it’s ready.”

you allowed him to carry you upstairs bridal style and it almost felt like you two were a couple—the feeling was a bit.. off? but that’s probably because you hadn’t been in a relationship in such a long time. at least that’s what you were going to keep telling yourself. seunghan slowly stripped you from the clothes you wore and if you were in the right state of mind—this wouldn’t be happening but you giggled and shyly covered your face while his perverted hands gripped at your now bare breasts. “sorry sweet girl.. you’re just so perfect.”

this was the first time he’s ever seen your breasts and he drooled at the sight, cock twitching in his pants needing some sort of relief. “h-hani.. bath.” and he nodded his head helping you in the bath. he crouched down beside the tub and watched you play with the bubbles he added, loving how adorable you looked.

“princess? why don’t you give me a kiss?”

a kiss? why would you kiss him? the thought of it made you feel flustered—heart skipping a beat and you cutely nodded your head leaning forward to press a quick kiss to his lips. he cursed under his breath and leaned in to steal another kiss from your lips, grabbing the back of your head to keep you from pulling away. you whined at the feeling of him being so rough with you—this was all new and you didn’t understand why he was being so aggressive. before you could see stars he pulled away and allowed you to breathe.

“you don’t understand how fucking hard this is for me. holding myself back and not ruining your little body like I should since it belongs to me. you understand that right little girl? you’re mine. once it’s time I’m going to ruin that tight pussy of yours and you’re going to enjoy it. every second of my cock. it’s all yours.”

the medication, warm water, relaxing bath bomb, was all to much for you and all you did was nod your head giving him another small smile. even though something in you was telling you to run. get out of there while you can but.. seunghan’s perfect face was getting in the way. his pretty dark pink lips, sharp eyes, dark hair that he’d push away from his forehead, and that deep but sweet voice of his.. god you needed him and he knew that. that’s why you were his perfect princess.

“you know? I have a confession to make..”

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redroomreflections · 9 hours ago

Text

Paint It Black Chapter Six

Teen Natasha Romanoff x Teen Reader

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Summary: Natasha Romanoff has never known love—or at least, that’s what she tells herself. During her time in the Red Room, she encountered a girl whose memory was forcibly erased from her mind. Now, as an Avenger, she faces a new enemy who turns out to be more than just a threat; they share a tangled history that challenges everything Natasha thought she knew about herself and love.

Chapter Summary: Natasha learns that she and R aren't friends

W/c: 3.9k

Warnings: This is a dark story, so read at your own risk. Mentions/hints of SA, violence, guns, and abuse. We're exploring the Red Room and Natasha's origins, kind of. MENTIONS OF STERILIZATION

Dreykov was, by all means, a busy man. With a facility of over two hundred girls to keep track of, he needed precision in every aspect of his "business." The girls rarely saw him unless he found one interesting. And as you knew, you were his topic of interest, along with Natasha.

On days like today, he'd pull you into his office and have you sit with and observe him. It was all part of his game, and it was working. You were scared shitless, and you tried not to show it. You sat up straight, shoulders squared and hands folded on your lap. The air in his office was tense, but you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing your fear.

You weren't a scared little girl. Not anymore. There were papers stacked in neat piles on his desk, reports on training progress, mission briefings, and names with numbers beside them—statistics, not people. You didn’t have to look closely to know what they meant.

You were looking at him, watching his hands shuffle through the files, and he was aware of it. His gaze was trained on the paper in his hands, and you didn't miss the ghost of a smirk on his face. You were staring again. You knew better.

You tore your eyes away, pointing to the glass case on the wall beside his head. This was also a part of his game. Making you wait there. Making you sit with him and keep your attention on him. It was all part of making you afraid, and you knew that. So instead, you focused on the objects in the glass case, the shiny things inside. A gold ring, a necklace with a ruby pendant, and a gun.

You heard the shuffling of papers, then silence.

"You understand, don’t you?" he mused, flipping a page without looking at you. You hadn't realized he'd even spoken. You directed your gaze to his. His eyes were still trained on the paper, and a chill ran up your spine. He finally looked at you, and there was something dark in his expression.

"I do, sir," you told him, your voice soft. "I understand."

"Do you?" He leaned forward, folding his hands on the desk.

You nodded, swallowing thickly.

"My Widows are some of the best in the world," He mused to himself mostly. He truly didn't care if you responded, you think. You nodded. It was always better to agree."This is how control is maintained. Not through brute force alone, but through order." He gestured vaguely to the reports. "Through strategy."

He stood, the sound of his chair scraping against the floor cutting through the silence. He walked around the desk and came to stand behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders. His breath was warm on your neck, and you shuddered.

"Your training has been going well," His voice was soft and low, and he pressed his lips to your ear. "You're useful to me." He said.

You knew he only said these things to make you feel good, but it worked. The praise washed over you, and you suppressed a smile. You had to fight the urge to lean into him and instead sat still as stone.

"Thank you, sir," you replied, your voice quiet.

He hummed, his fingers brushing the back of your neck. He was so close.

"I think I need two things from you," He whispered, his breath tickling your skin.

"And what are those, sir?"

"I will be sending Natasha Romanoff on her first mission," He continued, and you tensed. "I would like for you to watch her. You're a valuable asset to me. If she fails, it could jeopardize my operation."

"Yes, sir." You wondered why he didn't just send one of the older widows.

"You'll leave tomorrow," he said. "I have a few other matters to attend to." He looked down at you with a heavy gaze. "And I want to speak with you privately."

"Yes, sir," you replied, meeting his stare. His hand was still on your shoulder, his thumb tracing circles into your skin. You felt goosebumps rising where he touched. He was so close. You wanted to move away from him. You wanted to shrink away from his touch.

But you didn't.

You were trained not to.

So you sat there, waiting for him to move, but he didn't. He just watched you, his eyes raking over your form.

You shifted under his gaze. "Is there something wrong, sir?"

He blinked as if pulled from a thought. His grip tightened, fingers pressing down until the weight of his hand became unbearable—until it felt like he was pinning you to the chair.

There was a knock at the door, and the tension snapped in half. Whatever pain you were about to endure by his hands could wait.

Dreykov pulled back, his expression unreadable. "Enter."

"Antonia and Georgina are here, sir," A soldier announced.

He exhaled sharply as he had already forgotten this interruption was coming. He gestured the soldier away. "Send her in."

The woman who entered wasn’t much older than you. Maybe seventeen. Maybe eighteen. Former Widow. You recognized her. Not her name, but her face.

In her arms, she carried a little girl.

Brown hair. Brown eyes. Wet cheeks.

Antonia.

Dreykov’s daughter.

The child clung to the woman’s neck, her tiny hands fisting into the fabric of her shirt. The woman didn’t look at Dreykov or even acknowledge his presence. But the moment her wide eyes landed on you, her expression darkened.

She knew you.

And she didn’t like you.

The woman set the child down on the floor and stepped away. Dreykov didn't take his eyes off you, but he spoke to the girl, his tone stern. "Come here, Antonia."

The child obeyed, shuffling her little feet over to the desk. She stood before it, staring up at her father. Dreykov turned to the child, and the corner of his lips tugged upwards.

"How was your lesson?" he asked her.

Antonia didn't answer. She was staring at her shoes, her face a mess of tears. "I didn't like the teacher." She mumbled.

Dreykov chuckled. "You mustn't cry, my dear," he said, reaching out and placing his hand on the girl's head. She flinched at his touch but didn't pull away."It's a weakness." He finished.

His hand fell from the child's head, and his eyes flickered to you. "You can go," he said, nodding toward the door.

You stood quickly, practically tumbling over your feet in a rush to leave the room. It felt weird seeing Dreykov be almost fatherly to the little girl. You moved quickly, your legs carrying you out of his office before you could even process the tightness in your chest. The door clicked shut behind you, sealing him in with her.

Antonia couldn’t be older than five. Still small enough to be carried in someone’s arms. Still young enough to cry without shame. But even now, she was learning that weakness wasn’t allowed. Learning that flinching at his touch meant nothing if she didn’t pull away.

She was the spitting image of her father. The same sharp features. The same cold eyes. But there was something of Georgina in her, too, softer and fragile.

Not that it mattered.

Not in this place.

You clenched your fists, trying to shake off the unease creeping up your spine. Why was it bothering you? You’d seen Dreykov take an interest in girls before—handpicking, molding, turning them into weapons or something worse. You knew what happened to the women he kept.

Would Antonia be any different?

Would you?

The thought made your stomach churn.

There was no leaving. No, after this life. You had always known that. You had never wanted to be one of them. The women who stayed by his side. The ones who weren’t discarded but kept. The ones who belonged to him in a way that no mission, assignment, or Widow ever could.

Georgina had once been like you. A favorite. Chosen. And now, she was nothing more than an extension of his will, an obedient shell.

You swallowed hard.

Would that be you one day?

Would there come a time when you stopped fighting? When you let him own you completely?

*******

Natasha didn’t particularly have a least favorite lesson until she was introduced to the different aspects of beauty.

She had been inducted into makeup.

It was a class for the older girls—a technique designed to make them appear more mature, polished, and useful. A skill not just for blending in but for becoming exactly what was needed.

She sat stiffly in front of the mirror, her expression carefully blank. The instructor, an older woman with hard lines carved into her face, stood beside her. Her voice was sharp and clinical, rattling off step-by-step instructions like they were assembling a weapon.

“Foundation first.” A compact was placed in front of her. “You need a flawless base.”

Natasha dipped the sponge into the powder, pressing it against her skin. It felt foreign, suffocating. The fine dust clung to her, sinking into the grooves of her face. She tried not to grimace.

“Now, the eyes.” A pencil, cool and sharp, was handed to her. “Liner should be subtle. Just enough to make them striking.”

She dragged it along her waterline, the unfamiliar pressure making her blink rapidly. Her fingers twitched to wipe it away. She wasn't sure she was doing this correctly. Her hands were unsteady and uncoordinated.

"Good. Now mascara. Don’t blink too much."

Natasha obeyed. She always obeyed.

Lipstick came last. A deep shade of red—bold, adult. She hesitated for half a second before pressing it to her lips, dragging it across.

"Perfect." The instructor stepped back to assess her. Natasha met her gaze in the mirror, and something cold settled in her stomach.

She looked different. Older. Sharper. Someone else entirely.

"How does it feel?"

The words sat on the tip of her tongue. Wrong. Too much. Like I can't breathe.

Instead, she answered, "Fine."

The instructor nodded approvingly. "You'll get used to it."

"Madam," Natasha pondered. "Can I be excused?"

"For what reason?"

"I don't feel well."

The instructor's expression softened a fraction. She was not heartless. "Of course. Go. We'll continue this lesson another time."

Natasha slid out of the chair, careful not to smudge the lipstick, and fled. She didn’t know where she was going but needed an out. She was headed for the infirmary, hoping she could feign a headache to receive a little time away, when she noticed you walking into the room. She moved herself against the wall, making herself as small as possible to avoid seeing you. She was still upset about the other day. You'd told her to bomb the match so she wouldn't be sent on a mission. In theory, it sounded great. Missions weren't her favorite thing to do here. But then she'd gotten punished for not putting in her all. The instructors weren't happy, so they gave her extra work and made her clean the training rooms. She didn't have a problem with doing it. It was the fact that she hadn't known she'd be moving up a rank.

Moving up a rank in the Red Room meant something rare—trust.

Not freedom, not really, but a loosening of the reins. It meant she had proven herself competent and reliable. It meant fewer eyes watching her every move and fewer punishments for the smallest missteps. It meant they expected her to succeed now.

And she hadn’t even known.

Her stomach twisted. She pressed tighter against the wall, watching you disappear inside the infirmary.

You hadn’t warned her. Not about that.

You had told her to throw the match—to lose on purpose. And like a fool, she had listened. She thought she was playing it smart and avoiding something worse. Instead, she had humiliated herself. She had been reprimanded, punished, and set back. And yet, somehow, they were still sending her on a mission.

Natasha moved like a shadow, silent and unsure, as she pushed open the doors to the infirmary. There were no guards here at this time, and it seemed you knew, too. She pressed close to the wall, edging toward the cracked door like she had months ago. It wasn't like her to spy, but still, she needed to know more about you. She needed to know what she was dealing with.

******

You didn't know why your first stop was Nora's office. She was much too busy for your dramatics. But you needed the slightest bit of comfort she offered. The slightest bit of touch she would give when you would allow her. Nora was your favorite person in the Red Room. She wasn't stiff and cold like the other widows of her age. Nora was the closest thing you had to safe.

She wasn’t warm, not exactly—no one in the Red Room was—but she wasn’t cruel. She was blunt, whereas others were deceptive and awkward, and others were polished. She had been cycled through this place more times than you could count, yet somehow, she still had pieces of herself left.

That was why you came to her.

She didn’t coddle, didn’t pretend. She didn’t try to pry you open like a puzzle to be solved. She let you exist, let you take what you needed—whether it was silence, a brush of fingers over your wrist, or a conversation where neither of you said exactly what you meant.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Do you have any aspirin?"

Nora sighed. "Are you feeling unwell?"

"Yes," you told her, but it wasn't entirely true. Your head hurt, but it wasn't a physical ailment. It was the pressure, the constant fear, the unease. Of course, you couldn't tell her that. You hopped up on the exam table, watching as she typed away on her computer, and tried to steady your breathing.

She stood, rifling through the cabinet. "You're not supposed to have those," she told you, glancing at the screen. "But I think we can make an exception."

"Thank you." You reached for the pill bottle, but she shook her head.

"I'll get it," she said, handing you a small cup of water. She handed you the cup, all the while studying you closely until you drank the entire thing. "You're worried about something."

"I'm not," You said through clenched teeth.

She raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms.

"I'm not," You insisted. "I'm...tired."

She watched you closely. "It's not like you to ask for pain medication."

"I had a long day," You replied, looking down at your hands.

She nodded slowly, her eyes lingering on your face. "You've been tired a lot lately."

You shifted, avoiding her gaze. "Well, you try being fourteen and learning to be a Widow."

"I've done it three times," She muttered playfully. Nora hummed, letting the conversation settle for a moment before switching gears. "Andrey was asking about you again."

You barely held back a grimace. Of course, he was.

"He’s persistent," she added, her voice laced with something unreadable. Amusement? Annoyance? It was hard to tell with her sometimes.

You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. "He’s disgusting."

Nora’s brows lifted slightly, but she didn’t look surprised. "He’s useful."

You scoffed. "To who?"

"To you," she said simply. "Boys like him are predictable. You should use that."

You clenched your jaw, fingers curling against your palms. "I’d rather not. All boys his age want is one thing, and I'm not interested in giving it to him."

"That's not always true," Nora argued, her tone flat. "They're easy enough to control."

"Easy for you, maybe," you grumbled.

"And easy for you."

You sighed, shifting. "I don't want to do that if I don't have to." You mumbled, knowing that she would understand. "If I get too close, He'll take what he wants anyway."

Nora was quiet for a moment, her sharp eyes scanning your face. Then, she sighed. "That’s the way of things, isn’t it?"

You didn’t answer.

She leaned back slightly, exhaling through her nose. "I won’t tell you what to do. But I will tell you this—you should never let them see what you hate."

You swallowed, pressing your nails into your palms. "I know."

"And if he ever steps out of line—"

"I’ll handle it," you cut in.

Nora gave you a long look, then nodded. "Good."

After a beat, you asked, "Why does he like me so much?"

She could tell you weren't talking about Andrey anymore.

"Because you're special," Nora said, her tone softer than before.

You looked down at your hands before looking at her with shining eyes. "I don't want to be special." You shook your head. "I want the procedure." You said suddenly.

Nora’s expression didn’t change, but something in her eyes flickered—understanding, maybe, or something close to sorrow.

"You don’t mean that," she said, but there was no challenge in her voice. Just quiet certainty.

"I do," you insisted. Your throat felt tight. "I don’t want to be looked at like that. I don’t want to be wanted like that."

Nora exhaled slowly, studying you. "It won’t change everything," she said finally. "Not the way you think it will."

You swallowed hard. "But it would change something. I wouldn't end up like Georgina."

"It's too early," Nora denied you. "You've not graduated yet. You have two more years."

"And after that?" You pressed, trying to hide the desperation in your voice.

Nora frowned, her brow furrowing. "Why is this coming up now? What's happened?"

You didn't answer her.

"Y/N," She pressed.

"He's sending me on a mission," You muttered, looking down at the ground. "With a new girl. Natasha."

Nora's frown deepened. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

You didn't speak for a moment. Then, you nodded, exhaling slowly. "It's okay," you told her. "I just...want something to change."

Nora didn't say anything for a moment. Her eyes were fixed on you, her expression unreadable.

"Have you ever wanted to be a mother?" you asked.

She blinked, taken aback by the sudden change of topic.

"I can't say I have," She answered truthfully.

You sighed. "Neither have I."

Nora didn't reply, just stared at you.

"Do you think my mother is still looking for me?" You asked. "If she could find me. If she were alive?"

"You've had a long day," Nora said instead of answering.

You let out a shaky breath, nodding.

"Go to your quarters," She instructed. "Try to rest."

"Yes, ma'am," you said, standing from the table. You glanced at the bottle of pills in her hand.

"One more," Nora said, placing it in your palm. "It will help you sleep."

"Thank you," you murmured.

She didn't reply; she just returned to the computer.

You made your way out of the room and back towards the hallway. You stopped short when you heard a shuffling behind you. You turned your head, glancing back towards the doorway.

Natasha was standing there.

Her eyes were wide, her face flushed.

"I knew you were there," You sighed, disappointed. "You really should work on being more subtle."

"What happened back there?" Natasha asked. "What procedure are you talking about?"

You studied her. She was curious. Always too curious.

You shook your head and walked away instead. When you first began talking to Natasha, you thought you could be close. You thought she was someone you could befriend. It was a stupid thought. A childish one.

No one here was your friend.

Not even Nora.

You weren't going to make the mistake of getting close to her again.

She was only a mission.

***

Natasha sat in the darkness of her room, the sound of your footsteps still echoing in her mind.

The procedure.

What was it?

And why did the thought of it terrify her?

It wasn't her business. It was none of her concern. And yet, it gnawed at her. Like an itch, she couldn't scratch like a splinter stuck beneath her skin.

You were a mystery to her. One she had thought she was slowly solving. But now, it felt like she knew even less than before. She exhaled sharply, shifting to sit cross-legged on her bed. Her body ached from the day's training, but she barely noticed. Her mind was elsewhere—on you, the secrets you carried, and what Dreykov wasn’t telling her.

And the mission.

Her first real mission since Ohio.

In just twelve hours, she’d be leaving the Red Room for the first time, sent into the world like a knife drawn from its sheath. Dreykov hadn’t given her many details—only that it was necessary. If you were going, that meant it mattered. You were almost two years older than her, more experienced, more trusted. You had done this before.

Natasha had not.

She could only hope she did well.

******

A few hours later, Natasha hadn’t anticipated what would happen before the mission. Her briefing had been minimal. Cryptic at best.

She stood at the foot of her bed, head bowed, eyes lowered, waiting. The footsteps of a soldier approached, steady and unhurried. A blindfold was secured over her eyes—tight, rough fabric pressing into her skin. She didn’t flinch. She would have to get used to this.

Hands gripped her arm, guiding her forward. She followed without resistance. She was pushed into the back of a van, her body colliding with another.

Your voice came, low and steady, near her ear.

"Don’t panic. It’s just to keep us from knowing the way out."

She swallowed, forcing her breath to stay even.

She wouldn’t panic.

But she hated this already.

The van jolted forward, the engine rumble masking the sound of breathing around her. Natasha kept still, her body tense, fingers curled into fists in her lap. The tight blindfold pressed into her skin, forcing her to rely on her other senses.

She could feel your shoulder against hers, solid and unmoving.

She exhaled quietly, focusing on the weight of it, grounding herself.

She hadn't anticipated this.

Minimal briefing, little preparation—she had expected that. But the blindfold, the silent transport, the feeling of being nothing more than cargo—was new.

"How long?" she murmured.

A pause. Then, your voice was softer than before. "A while."

She nodded, shifting slightly. The van was crowded—she could hear the steady breathing of at least two others. Maybe more. It smelled of steel and oil, the faint trace of sweat clinging to the air.

She focused on the movement, counting each turn and each stop, trying to map the route in her mind. It didn’t take long to realize how impossible that was. The roads twisted, and the speed changed at random as if you were deliberately being disoriented.

You sighed beside her as if you knew exactly what she was doing. "Don’t bother."

Natasha turned her head slightly. "You don’t want to know where we are?"

"I already know what matters," you muttered. "In a few seconds, you will feel a pinch. Don't fight it."

"What?"

"Now," you whispered.

A hand seized her shoulder, and she felt the sharp bite of a needle sinking into her neck. She froze, fighting the instinct to pull away. The pressure released, and the grip on her shoulder loosened.

"What was that?" she hissed.

"Just a precaution," you murmured, your words slightly slurred. She couldn't ask the next question on the tip of her tongue before she felt the world around her become unsteady. She leaned against your shoulder, unable to hold herself up any longer.

"It will be alright," You assured her.

Natasha nodded, though her movements felt heavy and slow. The last thing she heard before her world went black was the sound of your voice saying

"Rest."

----->

#natasha romanoff #black reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader #black widow x female reader #natasha romanov #natasha x you

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lokisprettygirl · 19 hours ago

Text

Step Out Of Line (Bill Skarsgard! Eric Draven x Female Reader) (Alternate Universe) (18+)

Read chapter 5 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 6

Summary : Eric is afraid that you might just be too good to be real.

Warning: 18+, smut, non consensual sex, mention of drug addiction, grooming, mommy kink, age gap relationship, emotional cheating, marital abuse, sexual abuse, consumption of weed

“Hey, you can take a break..I'll be here” you said to Taylor as you entered Eric's room, carrying his lunch.

Taylor gave a small smile before quietly slipping out of there. Dolly wasn't home as usual, you didn't even know where she was off to these days and honestly? You didn't care either as long as she was not hurting him.

It's been five days since Eric had told you about the clause regarding his trust fund and the knowledge had been stressing you out more and more everyday, you had been racking your brains, trying to figure out how to get him out of this situation. Knowing Eric, he'd gladly sign the papers and transfer everything to your greedy mother if she would want him to.

You had to make him see that she had only ever loved his money, you had a plan but you needed to be as cunning as she was.

Placing the bowl of soup on the nightstand you leaned down to caress his head, the bandage from his head was removed this morning, there was now a small scar on his forehead but it would heal and fade soon.

“Hey” you mumbled so he turned his head and opened his eyes, his eyes still heavy from sleep, as soon as he registered that it was you he broke into that cute smile that always made your heart do hula hoops.

“You have to eat” you murmured softly, as you sat down at the edge before leaning on top of him to hook your arm under his neck, he stared at you intently, you always got so close whenever you had to help him up, and he always wanted to do something stupid like- pressing his head up and kissing you.

You fluffed a bunch of pillows behind his back, gently easing him up into a sitting position.

“Comfy?” You asked him as you grabbed the bowl so he nodded in response. He was more than comfy, he felt better than he ever had in his life before, he was supposed to feel miserable but the way you had been taking such good care of him almost made him forget that he was suffering..he still couldn't believe that you were being so sweet, so kind to him.

It seemed too good to be true, he feared that this was a dream and some night he'd be awakened and thrown back into the reality.

“Okay so I found this recipe on YouTube” you said, a grin gracing your features “Tell me how it tastes” you mumbled as you grabbed a spoonful and fed him.

“Mmm what is it? It's good” he said, pleased by the deliciousness of it.

“It's chicken, pumpkin and broccoli, so I boiled everything together and then blended it into a pulp, then I added some spices and ooh heavy cream” you answered enthusiastically, trying not to sound too boastful about your newly acquired skill.

Everyday since he had gotten hurt you had been by his side like a rock, making sure he had everything he needed, he may have lost the temporary use of his arms but he was gaining something through this ordeal. He was starting to see that the last seven years that he had spent with his wife had been nothing but a farce.

After you were done feeding him he seemed sleepy again so you tucked him under the covers before you stood up and grabbed the empty bowl to take it with you.

“You're forgetting something” he said as you were about to leave. He couldn't really point so he just used his big eyes and scrunched his forehead together.

You smiled as you walked towards him and leaned down to kiss his forehead, your lips lingered longer than usual over his skin.

“An hour of sleep then we will go for a walk okay?”

He nodded as you said that.

After closing his door you stepped downstairs and made your way into the kitchen, that's when Taylor approached you.

“Hey, can I talk about something with you?” He asked you so you hummed in response as you put the dish in the sink.

“Yeah sure..what is it?”

“This is awkward” he began, scratching the back of his neck in nervousness “I don't know how to say this but uhh from past few days Eric had been calling me in the middle of the night due to a ..uhhh situation”

“What do you mean?” you questioned, looking at him all perplexed.

“Well he ejaculates” he winced at his own bluntness. “At first I thought he was doing it in his sleep but last night I saw his wife, uhh your mother, stepping out of his room.”

Your jaw immediately clenched in anger as he said that.

“I'm sorry it's not my place but I just wanted you to know..she just leaves him like that, everytime he calls me he seems scared and embarrassed which makes me believe that there is a lack of consent there, his arm also seemed to be in pain this morning and that shouldn't be happening” he said to you so you nodded. You were trying so hard to keep your expression neutral, but the anger you felt for Dolly made you want to murder her right about now.

“Thanks a lot for telling me..i really appreciate it” you said to him so he nodded before he made way to Eric's room.

That fucking bitch of your mother was unbelievable, and it has been going on for five days? Why didn't he say something to you?

Later that night you stayed awake on purpose, around 3am you heard the soft creaking on the stairs so you got out of the bed and stood at your door frame to block her way.

“Going somewhere?” You asked her nonchalantly, she was surprised to see you up so late.

“I'm going to see my husband, you got a problem with that honey?” she scoffed at you, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah you're not allowed” you heard her snickering at your response.

“He's my husband..mine”

“Exactly he's your husband” you said as you stepped closer to her, “A human being that's hurt and in pain, he's not a sex toy that you can use whenever you want to mother” as you neared her she raised her arm up to hit you but you grabbed it and twisted it around to cause some pain. This went against your plan but you really needed to give her a piece of your mind for what she had been doing to him.

As she yelped in pain you glared at her again.

“Don't forget you're in my house okay? I'd hate to throw you out of here in the middle of the night” you hissed at her.

Her eyes teared up in anger and the satisfaction you felt at the moment was incomparable.

As you let go of her arm she turned around like a defeated cat and stormed off the stairs, you stood at the top of the stairs until you heard the sound of her bedroom door shutting loudly seconds later.

You wanted to check up on Eric so you headed to his room. He was tossing and mumbling something in his sleep, seemingly distressed, perhaps he was having a nightmare. You approached the bed and turned the lamp on before you sat down at the edge of the bed.

You feared that he'd hurt himself with all the thrashing around so you cupped his cheeks and held him against the mattress tightly.

“No no no..not again please i.. Dolly please” he murmured as his eyes fluttered.

“Hey.. wake up..it's me..” your voice was soft and soothing as you spoke to him, as you leaned down to kiss his forehead he slowly opened his eyes and looked at you.

His eyes welled up the moment he saw you, he was relieved and thankful he won't have to be embarrassed again.

You leaned down and hooked your arm around his neck to make him sit up but you didn't pull away from him. Instinctively he placed his head down on your shoulder. He wished he could have wrapped his arms around your waist but it was a luxury he couldn't afford at the moment.

Using your other hand you caressed through his silky locks.

“Why didn't you tell me Eric? She had been coming here every night and hurting you and you didn't tell me” You said to him so he sighed deeply.

“She's my wife y/n”

“Exactly, she's your wife.. Do you see that or not?”

He understood what you meant so he hummed in response. “Now I'm going to ask a question and I need you to be honest with me”

“Anything”

“Did she hurt your arm last night?”

You asked him, he hesitated as he pulled away and looked down, feeling ashamed of himself.

“She wanted me to touch her”

He said to you, making your stomach turn in disgust.

“Thanks for being honest” you pressed a soft kiss on the cast covered shoulder.

“Can I ask you a question and you'll be honest?” He asked you, his voice low.

“Did she ever hit you?”

“Just once when I was like nine” you began, his eyes softened, he knew she was capable of it “My dad went ballistic so she never did it again..she wanted to I'm sure, but after their divorce I stayed with my dad every weekend, and I'd have told him immediately if she had hit me, she'd lose the custody, the hefty child support my father was paying and she'd have been thrown out of this house so she was careful with me..she didn't hit me not because I'm her daughter but because she was looking out for herself” you finished, tears rolled down your cheeks and he couldn't wipe them away so he placed his forehead down on yours for a moment before he pulled away.

“I'm sorry you had to grow up around her” he said gently,

“I'm sorry you had to marry her”

He chuckled as you said that.

“Well I chose my misery..you didn't”

“When was the first time she hurt you?” you asked the question that has been eating away at you since the day you had seen him on his knees in their bedroom.

“On our wedding night”

“She never did it before that night?”

“No, she was always gentle and loving,” he said bitterly.

Of Course she was. She wanted to keep him hooked until the marriage, making sure he won't change his mind.

“How did she hurt you?” you asked

“It was just a slap and I kind of liked it too” your face flushed as he said that.

“What did you like about it?”

“Just the rush of it” he admitted shyly “Being hit by a person who i thought loved me and cared for me, it was exciting, passionate even and i thought it would never happen outside of the bed”

“But it happened”

“It happened”

“I'm sorry, she won't be hurting you anymore i promise you that” you whispered.

“Don't get in trouble for me,” he said softly.

“I will, you'd do the same for me”

His eyes teared up as you said that.

After helping him lie down on the bed, instead of returning to your bed you slept on the couch in his room. He wanted to protest but he knew you wouldn't listen to him.

Next morning you woke up when Taylor entered the room to help Eric with his morning routine. As he made Eric sit up and he finally saw you, he gave you a smile, he couldn't believe you were real sometimes, you seemed like something that came out of his most beautiful dream. A dream that he feared would end soon.

You stepped out of the room to give him privacy and you had to prepare his breakfast.

After showering as you stepped downstairs you saw your mother in the living room, she had a bunch of her friends over. Bethany, Francesca and others you didn't even remember the names of. You'd have gone your whole life without seeing those women again.

“Oh hey y/n good to see you hon” Bethany said to you, her voice as high pitched and as fake as you remembered.

“Hello Aunt Bethany, how are you?”

“Good…good, come sit with us” she said as she patted the spot next to her.

“No..i have to prepare breakfast..daddy is sick and he needs to eat on time before his medicine” her brow raised as you addressed Eric as Daddy.

They knew, you knew, your mother definitely knew you were doing it on purpose but you had decided to give her a taste of her own medicine.

“She's definitely your daughter” Bethany chuckled as you disappeared in the kitchen.

“She just needs her wings clipped” Dolly responded, her teeth gritting in anger at the sudden change in your attitude around her.

When Eric came downstairs Dolly quickly got up and grabbed his arm,

“Hey careful..don't pull on his arm” Taylor reminded her so she chuckled condescendingly.

“Of Course you don't need to tell me,” Dolly said to him. Taylor looked at Eric so he nodded and asked him to take a break.“Come honey, everyone wants to see you” She wrapped her arm around his waist as she took him to the couch and made him sit between all her friends.

They immediately hovered around him like bees on honey, caressing his head like a pet, asking how he was doing, showing fake concern.

He felt uncomfortable and suffocated as if he was being paraded around like an animal in a zoo.

Half an hour later as you entered the room, he finally sighed in relief, his tension melting at the sight of you.

“You need to eat” you said to him, you could tell how uncomfortable he was just by the look on his face

“He's fine here..aren't you honey?” Dolly Said to you as she smiled, her fingers threading through his hair possessively.

You couldn't help but flinch on his behalf. She was touching him again. You hated that. Hated how he just sat there silently, shrinking into himself like he always did when she was near.

“Eric?” You called out to him but he didn't look up, you didn't blame him, he was scared, you just wished he'd fight for himself but you also knew it wasn't that easy, your eyes welled up at the sight of him so you turned around to leave.

“Y/n”

You stopped in your tracks as he said your name.

“Yes?” you turned to face him.

“Can you help me stand up?”

He finally looked up at you, a small smile on his face as he did so you returned it. He didn't really need help standing up from the couch, he just wanted to make a statement. He didn't want to disappoint you again after everything you had done for him.

“Sorry ladies.. I'm hungry” he looked around the group before he glared at Dolly, rage simmering in those irises, his voice polite as ever but the look on his face was one of fury. She was shocked and angry at the same time at the sudden courage and defiance he had shown just now.

As you both left her friends began to snicker among themselves, mocking her subtly.

“Dolly hon..if you're not careful your husband might just become your son in law”

Dolly didn't appreciate the joke though, her jaw clenched, ears became hot as she clutched on her glass of wine in the same way she wanted to keep him in her clutches.

“Eric is mine. I broke him down and I built him up. I shaped him. He doesn’t get to walk away from me, not without consequences.”

The silence that followed her statement was chilling.

After plating the breakfasts you took Eric to the backyard, weather seemed pleasant today and you wanted to take him away from the prying eyes of your mother and her minions. You were still buzzing from what had just happened. That small act of rebellion from Eric... it meant to you more than he knew. You wanted to help him get some control back in his life, have some agency.

You made him sit down on the chair at the porch before you began to feed him.

“That was good, what you did there..I'm proud of you” you spoke softly, making his lips curve into a shy smile.

“Didn't want to disappoint you” he admitted even though there was hesitation there.

“You could never” he nodded before he refused a bite you offered him.

“Please eat, you must be hungry too” he said to you so you ate that bite before feeding him another one.

“What's your most favourite thing in the world?” you asked curiously so he sighed.

You. That's what he wanted to say but he held his tongue.

“Right now? My most favourite thing in the world is the feeling of being embraced so tightly by this cast” you chuckled as he said that, amused by the seriousness of his tone.

“Stop”

“Feeling the warmth of the plaster of Paris ..mmm nothing gets me going like that” you let out a laugh this time as he said that dramatically.

“Stop it”

“Can't move, can't breathe, can't scratch myself…reminds me of your mother”

Your smile faded as he said that even though he hadn't meant for it to get so heavy.

That night as you put him in bed, his eyes were drowsy so you wished him a good night before you tucked him under the cover and moved to the couch to lie down.

“Y/n?” He called out your name so you sat up immediately.

“Yeah, what do you need? Tell me”

“Nothing, I just wanted to answer the question you had asked me” he mumbled, his words hesitant.

“What question?”

“My most favourite thing in the world” you chuckled as he said that.

“And?”

“It’s you”

Your heart sped up as he said that. I love you? Nah.. this sounded much sweeter than those three words.

In the middle of the night Eric woke up as he had to use the bathroom, his eyes glanced over at the couch but you weren't there which made him worry, he used his core to brace himself as he sat up slowly, a sharp pain shooted up his arm but he ignored it, the door was ajar so he used his leg to open it, he could hear the voices coming from your bedroom.

Voices of you and Dolly merged together in muffled sentences.

He knew he shouldn't be eavesdropping but he wanted to make sure you were okay. To listen clearly he stepped closer to the door and pressed his ears against the wood and what he heard broke his heart, shattered it completely, his eyes welled up with tears,

“You have to be smart about this mom, if you want his money you are going to have to behave and treat him well so when the time comes he won't hesitate in signing those papers. Don't you see it? The way you have been treating him is only driving him away from you”

Your voice sounded so alien to him, you sounded exactly like your mother, like his wife, like the woman you had been protecting him from all this time.

You were his safe place, how could you do this to him? He took silent steps behind as his knees felt weak. As he sat down on the bed he let those tears fall down freely. It was all a dream, of course it was and he was awake now.

Maybe you were your mother's daughter after all.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Note : Eric baby no.

Taglist @mariaenchanted @malenoradgn @loushaw131460 @wiseyouthinfluencer @muchwita @urmomsgirlfriend1

#eric draven x female reader #eric draven x reader smut #eric draven x reader angst #eric draven x reader fluff #bill skarsgård eric draven #alternate universe

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